


The Golden Boy (Who Doesn't Think)

by tessalane



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A tiny little bit of angst, Boys being complicated, Denial of Feelings, Drama, Drarry, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Harry Potter Being an Idiot, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hooking up, Horny Draco, Horny Harry, Idiots in Love, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Ron Weasley is So Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:01:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24520504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tessalane/pseuds/tessalane
Summary: Harry returns to Hogwarts for his eighth year and everything is different. The people, the atmosphere, the studying. He can't seem to catch a break - oh, and he's horny all the freaking time.When Draco and Harry somehow start to act civil around each other, they realize they have similar problems. They have an idea: Let's drink some dangerous love potion to feel attracted to each other and fuck their brains out to release some pressure. What could go wrong? Nothing, right? Only that Harry slowly, very slowly, begins to realize that maybe he doesn't need a love potion to fall in love with Draco.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 39
Kudos: 257





	The Golden Boy (Who Doesn't Think)

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Merlin, I'm a mess. I posted the first version of this story before (maybe you've already read it?) and I wasn't happy with it. At all. So I deleted it and spent weeks, maybe even months, sulking about it. Then, I finally started writing again, trying to improve it. I changed a lot of the story, let me tell you. It's worth reading twice, because it is different now. But despite changing things and this being my longest work ever, I'm still not very happy with it. I don't know. Self-doubt is a bitch. 
> 
> English isn't my first language, there are probably tons of mistakes in there. I'm very sorry, please do tell me if you find anything or try to ignore it, lol. I hope you still enjoy this mess of a story, stay safe! Lots of love, Tessa xxx

When Harry jumps off the Hogwarts Express, he feels a strange mix of joy and nostalgia. He made the right decision coming back for repeating his eighth year, that’s for sure. But he can’t help the memories of the war flooding in.

Hermione grabs Harry’s elbow and guides him forward, a knowing wrinkle forming between her bushy brows. Harry sighs. She knows him too well.

“Don’t think about it too much, Harry.”

He nods and lets the witch drag him with her. “I know, I know.”

Harry knew it wouldn’t be easy returning to Hogwarts. He had tried to mentally prepare himself. But standing here in front of the castle, all of his foolish preparations come crashing down on him. He swallows the lump in his throat as he tries to fight the images flashing before his eyes. This year would definitely be interesting.

***

Dinner at the Great Hall feels oddly normal. It’s almost as if the war never had happened. Students are cheerful, everyone’s laughing. A warm atmosphere is surrounding Harry and his friends. For a moment, he loses himself in happiness. He tries his best to ignore the stares and whispers directed at him. 

When the group eventually heads to their dorms, Harry desperately doesn’t want their first evening back at Hogwarts to end just yet.

“Why don’t we hang around in the common room?”, he suggests as they pass the Fat Lady.

They all seem to agree and settle down in front of the chimney. Harry looks around. Ron, Neville, Ginny, Hermione, Dean, and Seamus are all gathered around him. He feels a tightness in his chest and doesn’t quite know if it’s a good or a bad feeling – maybe a mix of both.

Suddenly, Ginny grins and her eyes flicker dangerously. Harry knows this look too well. “Guess what?”

Hermione sighs. “What?”

“I smuggled fire whiskey inside the castle.”

“Ginny!”, Hermione gasps, while Ron, Dean, and Seamus give the redhead a high five.

Ginny jumps up and disappears up the stairs for a minute. She returns with a backpack and sits back down on the floor. Then, she gets out four bottles of fire whiskey.

She grins. “I came prepared.”

“That’s my sister!”, Ron barks out a laugh and conjures glasses for everyone.

Harry shakes his head, but can’t hide his excitement. It's been way too long since he truly let go. The group begins to drink and after an hour, Harry already feels his head spin. His cheeks feel warm, his hands are slightly sticky and his face hurts from smiling so much. 

“Okay, okay,” Dean eventually says. “Ginny, you are the judge. Who’s the better kisser: Harry or me?”

Ginny grins. She tilts her head and considers this for a moment. “I mean, I was in a relationship with Harry after all. Not for too long, but still. I’m sorry, Dean. My answer would have to be Harry.”

Dean seems devastated as he gulps the rest of the liquor down.

“But if you could hook up with anyone from our year, who would that be?”, Seamus asks.

Harry shakes his head. “Merlin, why do you even care?”

“Because”, Seamus shouts. “I wanna know. Who’s the most attractive guy in our year? Or girl? What do you think, Harry?” 

Harry shrugs. “I’ve never really thought about that to be honest.”

“I think Luna is the prettiest girl”, Neville admits shyly with a blush creeping up his cheeks.

“That’s very sweet, Nev”, Hermione reassures him.

“To be honest, I think Blaise Zabini is really hot”, Ron eventually blurts out. When the others look at him confused, he clears his throat. “I mean, come on. He looks insanely handsome.”

Harry tilts his head. Yeah, Blaise probably is attractive. Harry has never really paid attention to him, though. He seems too arrogant and superficial.

“Hm. I guess I’d still consider Cho Chang the most attractive in our year”, Harry finally admits. He’s always thought that she’s one of the most beautiful girls he’s ever met.

“I find Katie Bell really pretty”, Seamus sighs.

“I know this is probably an unpopular opinion, but I actually find Draco Malfoy quite handsome”, Ginny giggles as she takes another sip of her fire whiskey.

“Malfoy?!”, Ron shouts in disbelief. “Ginny, come on. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I mean, if you put all of his flaws aside and focus _just_ on his looks, he’s actually very beautiful”, Dean says after considering this for a while. “His grey eyes, his blonde soft hair. He has a nice body, and a really nice arse, if I do say so myself. Yeah, he’s stunning. I actually agree with Ginny.”

Harry frowns. Draco Malfoy, attractive? Harry has never really thought about that. Why would he? He had focused too much on absolutely hating his guts. And then, once the war was over, after they’d been through so much, after they’d grown out of their constant fighting and mutually agreed on behaving like adults for once, he had worried about things being weird between them once they would return to Hogwarts. Harry still doesn’t know how to face his former enemy. But Dean’s words make him think. Harry was always intrigued by his eyes. Draco does have beautiful eyes. And his hair is extremely fluffy, the softest hair he’s probably ever seen. Harry wonders if it actually feels as soft as it looks like. Draco is tall and slim, but Dean is right, he does have a nice ass. Harry’s just a man, and the boys have competed in Quidditch too often for Harry to not check out Malfoy’s bum in Quidditch attire.

“I guess you’re right”, Harry says slowly. It’s strange admitting this out loud. “Draco might actually be the best-looking guy in our year.”

Neville shrugs. “Yeah, I agree. I mean we’re just talking about looks, and Draco does check all the boxes. Besides, I think he's really changed a lot since the war.”

The others hum in agreement. Harry’s head spins. It’s probably just the alcohol. The others chat about attractive guys and girls for a while, but Harry doesn’t really focus anymore. He thinks about silver-blonde hair, grey eyes, and long, slim legs.

* * *

Harry should’ve known that returning to Hogwarts was going to change everything. He kind of had expected everything to go back to normal. He would see all of his former classmates, he would go to his classes and do his homework. He'd hang out with his friends, play some Quidditch. Yeah, life would be easy and great. Harry had expected everything to be the same even though he’s smart enough to know that after _everything_ it could never be the same. It obviously isn’t.

If Harry had received attention before the war during his time at Hogwarts for being known as the Boy Who Lived, it was absolutely nothing compared to the way people treat him now.

He quickly realizes that the other students either adore him and literally try everything to get with him. It is actually pathetic, and a tiny bit scary how desperate and thirsty for him some of the people are.

Or they are terrified of him. They wouldn’t look twice at him because they don’t know how to act around the Oh-So-Famous-Mr-Potter. Some of them are actually running away the moment Harry walks past them. Or they squeak loudly and point at him as if he's a big attraction. It's insane. 

It’s stressing Harry out much more than he would ever admit. Just as he walks to his next class, he ducks his head down and tries to avoid as many students as possible. He even goes as far as pulling the hood of his cloak over his head. He rushes towards the greenhouses, hoping nobody will see him or talk to him, but suddenly, his shoulder bumps into a solid body. Harry’s head snaps up in surprise. Then, green eyes meet grey ones and his heart stops beating for a moment.

“Malfoy”, Harry squeaks. He stares up at the man and tries to find his composure.

Malfoy watches Harry through unreadable, impossibly grey eyes, but he looks friendly. His face looks softer than Harry remembers, almost younger. “Were you running away from something, Potter?”

Harry’s eyes flicker around the crowded hallway. “Um. Yeah. Kinda. I don’t know. “

Malfoy chuckles. Harry’s heart stammers inside his chest. Merlin. „Nothing’s changed, has it? You’re still running straight into trouble.”

Harry shakes his head. “Um, no. Right now, I’m actually trying to avoid it.”

“Mhm. Didn’t really work, since you ran into me, huh?”

Harry’s heart speeds up as he feels Malfoy’s eyes watching him. Harry licks his lips. “I don’t think you're trouble.”

For a moment, Draco’s eyes soften and his lips twitch. What did Harry want to say again?

“Let’s head to class then, shall we?”, Malfoy suggests with a nod towards the greenhouses.

“Yeah”, Harry agrees. “Sure. Let’s do that.”

Together, they walk towards their next class. For some reason, Harry feels awkward. They haven’t spoken at all since the trial. Harry had defended Draco and his Mother in court because he was and still is convinced that Draco was only a victim of his surroundings and that he didn’t have a choice. He never actually talked to Draco, though. Not before and not after the trial. The timing had always been odd. He feels weirdly nervous around Draco now. 

“Feels weird to be back, right?”, Draco mumbles.

Harry nods. “Yeah. I don’t know what I had expected. Definitely not this.”

Draco watches him from the side. “What do you mean?”

“Everything’s different now, you know?”, Harry begins. He doesn’t know how to explain it.

“Yeah. Everything’s different. I’m glad, though. Glad that it’s all different.”

Harry nods. “I haven’t made up my mind yet. I don’t know if I like it or not. I mean. I obviously am _very_ happy that Voldemort’s gone and that the war is over. But. I don’t know. Hogwarts just feels different.”

Harry forces himself to shut up before he embarrasses himself further in front of Draco.

Draco watches him again. “I know what you mean. But I still prefer it this way.” His shoulders tense up and he almost seems shy now. “We talk now. That’s very positive to me.”

Harry smiles at him. Not one of his fake smiles, the kind of smile that he flashes around a lot lately. The genuine smile, only reserved for special occasions. “Yeah. I agree. I was afraid that it would be weird.”

They finally reach the greenhouses. Draco licks his lips and straightens his shoulders. Harry can tell that he feels uneasy. He wishes he could somehow make it easier for Malfoy, tell him that he doesn’t have to feel weird around Harry. But the thing is, Harry also feels weird and uneasy around Malfoy. So, what kind of Hypocrite would he be?

Draco sighs. “It doesn’t have to be weird. Right? We’re both different now. I’m not saying we should be friends. But let’s just not make it weird.”

Harry agrees happily. He sighs in relief. “Yeah. I’m good with that.”

Draco smiles and holds out his hand for Harry to shake. Harry grabs it and shakes it. The moment Draco’s long fingers wrap themselves around Harry’s a tingling feeling sparks inside his chest and Harry can’t stop himself from smiling for the rest of the lesson.

* * *

Harry’s dick hasn’t received any attention whatsoever over the last few months. And it’s safe to say that the young wizard is slowly going insane. How is it possible that saving the wizarding world and being the most famous wizard would be such a cock block?

Harry had thought that returning to Hogwarts might give him a break. He thought he might actually have time to get into a serious relationship. He was ready. He had the time and was in the right headspace. He wanted to be in a relationship for once. With Ginny, everything had been so rushed and forced. It hadn’t been the right timing and it definitely hadn’t felt right. It was meant to break apart eventually.

But now, he actually feels ready to commit. To fall in love. To actually be with someone. And for some stupid reason, he had hoped that Hogwarts might give him just that. But oh boy, Harry was so wrong. Harry has never felt more uncomfortable and out of place in his entire life. Harry painfully accepts that the other students either adore him or they are terrified of him which makes living at Hogwarts very difficult for him. It's a horrible situation. The only people he can talk to are his friends and a few of his classmates.

Every other student at Hogwarts behaves like a mentally insane person around him. They don’t act normal and he seriously begins to hate it. It stresses him out. Why can’t he have one normal conversation with someone who isn’t one of his best friends?

And on top of that, Harry is so, so horny. And being in Hogwarts, he doesn’t have many possibilities. This isn’t London, where he could go to the pub and try to pull a muggle. Someone who has no idea who he is. In Hogwarts, everyone knows who he is, and during school term, all he has left is his own hand and his imagination since he’s tied to the castle. His options are limited, and it’s driving him mad.

That’s why he’s sitting in Transfiguration class. His leg is bouncing up and down. His fingers are playing nervously with a coin while his mind is going everywhere, except the stuff he’s supposed to learn. He sighs. He really needs a solution to this problem.

“Harry,” Hermione hisses. “Can you sit still for _one_ second, please? You’re being annoying, and I can’t concentrate.”

Harry nods. “Yeah, sorry. I’ll try.”

He does try, but he doesn’t succeed. It’s pure torture at this point. The lesson feels like a thousand years, and when it’s finally over, Harry jumps up in relief. “I’ll go for a walk.”

Hermione watches him for a moment. She’s probably considering whether she should say something or if she should give Harry some space. Then, she simply shrugs, collects her books, and leaves the classroom without looking back at Harry. He's never felt more appreciative for his best friend. 

Harry almost runs outside, longing for fresh air. He can feel the energy buzzing through him. He’s got it under control, usually. But sometimes, his buzzing magic and adrenaline turn into bursts of anger and aggression. On his way outside, he tries to avoid as many people as possible, ignoring a few calls here and there. Being back in school really irritates him so much more than he had thought. He had fought Voldemort for so long and had not cared about school since their fifth year. And now he has to focus and study and actually concentrate plus having all eyes on him. He’s not used to that anymore.

He walks to the Quidditch field, not really having a destination planned in his head. He simply enjoys the cold, fresh air and the quiet surrounding him.

He sits down on the bleachers, takes a deep breath, and stares into the distance.

“Fancy seeing you here, Potter.”

Harry’s head snaps around. He knows right away who that person is. He could recognize that voice even in his sleep.

“Malfoy! You scared the shit out of me”, Harry gasps. “What on earth are you doing here?” 

Draco sits a couple of benches behind him, his blonde hair flowing in the wind, a grey scarf wrapped around his neck, and a cigarette between his lips. Harry didn’t even know that Malfoy smokes.

Malfoy shrugs. “I could ask you the same thing. I was here first.”

Harry bites his lip. That’s probably true. “I just needed to escape.”

Malfoy raises an eyebrow. He seems genuinely curious when he asks “Escape from what?”

Harry shrugs. They’ve agreed that they’re on friendly, totally not weird, speaking terms now, but it’s still strange to talk to Malfoy in a friendly, neutral way. But Harry really wants to make an effort with him. He wants to give him a chance. They're not kids anymore. That’s why Harry tries to open up.

“Escape from school, I guess. From the people. The noise. Stress. It’s all a bit too much, you know?”

Draco nods and blows out some smoke. “Yeah. Same.”

Harry’s head snaps around in surprise.

Draco takes a drag from his cigarette and shrugs. There’s a crooked smile covering his face. “What? You’re not the only famous guy around here.”

Harry watches him, unsure of how to reply. He’s still expecting Malfoy to fall back into old habits and start the insults and the fighting again, even though he knows that’s not going to happen.

Draco grins. “Relax. You’re the good kind of famous. I’m a bad kind of famous.”

“A bad kind?”

Harry doesn’t understand anything. When Draco licks his lips, Harry stares at them for a second too long. “The kind where people are scared of you. ‘Oh, shit. He was a death eater, don’t go near him. He’s dangerous!’ The bad kind of famous.”

Harry raises his eyebrows in surprise. “People actually say that about you?”

Malfoy chuckles. “Yes, of course, you oblivious fool. They do it all the time.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry genuinely is.

Draco shakes his head and blows out the smoke he had just inhaled. “Not your fault. It’s entirely my own.”

Harry decides not to argue with him about whose fault it is. That’s a dangerous topic to discuss and Harry doesn’t want to ruin the conversation. “You shouldn’t have to go through that.”

Draco shakes his head. “Well. Thank Merlin that you’re the Golden Boy, huh? The Boy Who Lived. The boy who saved the wizarding world. People literally see stars when they look at you. Must be nice.”

Harry shakes his head and rubs his hands together. He envies Malfoy for the scarf because it’s really getting colder every day. “Fuck, I hate it.”

Now it’s Draco who tilts his head in surprise.

“They either throw themselves at you, or they are mortified by you,” Harry explains.

Draco laughs. Harry tilts his head in surprise. It’s a beautiful sound, and it makes something inside of Harry's tingle. He’s never really heard Malfoy laugh before, he notices.

“Mortified?”

Harry nods. “Yeah. There was this girl in year three, right? She came up to me at lunch. I think she wanted an autograph. She stared at me, got pale, and then she just fainted.”

Draco tilts his head back and barks out a loud laugh. It’s – _nice_. Very nice. Harry ignores the churning feeling inside his tummy. “Just like that?”

Harry grins. “Just like that. I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was so fucking awkward.”

Draco throws the cigarette away. “Well. I guess we’re both struggling then.”

Harry nods. “Yeah. It’s tough sometimes.”

Draco watches him as if he understands. For some weird reason, Harry does feel comfortable around the other man. “Well, if you ever want to gossip about your weird fans, I’m down. I’ll get back to class now, though.”

Harry sighs. “Yeah, sure. But I’ll stay for a while.”

Draco nods and smiles. “Alright. See you around.”

“See you.”

He watches Draco jump down the bleachers and head up to the castle.

**

When Harry is sitting at lunch the other day, a young boy comes up to him. Harry feels incredibly awkward when he asks for a photograph.

Obviously, he doesn’t deny him anything. He poses next to the boy, smiles into the camera, and even gives him a hug. But he still wants to disappear and never interact with any wizard or witch ever again. He knows he’s bright red when he goes back to eating his sandwich.

The moment he looks around if anyone saw that embarrassing encounter, he catches a glimpse of Malfoy bickering and giggling. Harry can’t stop the smirk on his face the moment their eyes meet.

***

Harry knew it was a bad idea the moment Dean had shouted: “Party at the Leaky Caldron!” But he didn’t have a chance. Ron had dragged him all the way to Hogsmeade, even though Harry had protested the entire time.

And now he’s sitting in between Neville and Luna, feeling incredibly uncomfortable since everyone in the Leaky Cauldron is staring at him. He tries to hide his discomfort, but the others notice it too.

“Jesus, can’t they give you a break for one second?” Hermione whispers as she sorts out her cards. They want to play a muggle game that the other wizards have never heard of.

Harry shrugs. “It’s whatever.”

It isn’t ‘whatever.’ Everybody knows that. But there’s nothing he can do about it. “I have to use the bathroom.”

He gets up and slips past Luna. The moment he rises, people’s heads turn. They start to whisper and point at Harry. He wishes he could disappear.

Harry opens the bathroom door and takes a deep breath when he’s finally alone. He reliefs himself and then goes to wash his hands. It’s all too much. He regrets coming along.

Suddenly, the door opens again, and a bloke his age enters the bathroom. He’s tall, has bright blue eyes, and wears a chic black hoodie. Ginny would probably find him attractive, Harry guesses. Many people would probably find him attractive, but he's not really interested right now. He's tired and wants go be left alone.

“Hi,” he says as he steps closer to Harry. “I’m Aron.”

Harry nods. “Hi.”

He knows right away what the guy wants from him. It’s not the first time it has happened. And even though Harry is horny, he isn’t in the mood right now. And he’s definitely not the kind of guy to do sexy stuff in a dirty bathroom.

“I was wondering if the Boy Who Lived would like to get some … _pleasure_ from a fit guy like me?”

Harry presses his lips together. He hates it when they are so straight forward. It makes him feel incredibly uncomfortable. “No, I’m good. Thank you.”

The boy steps even closer and puts his hand on Harry’s bicep. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I wish I could lick your abs, you know? Get a taste of you.”

Harry is starting to get angry. “I said no. Thank you. Now get off.”

“I know that you are, in fact, bisexual. A friend knows a friend who knows someone who hooked up with you,” he purrs. 

“It doesn’t matter if I’m bisexual or not. I’m not interested in you, so fuck off.”

The guy doesn’t get it. He runs his fingers up and down Harry’s arms. He lowers his lips, and the moment he tries to kiss him, Harry loses it. He grabs his wand with one hand, the other wraps itself around the guy’s neck, and he pushes him against the wall.

His eyes are sparkling dangerously, and he struggles to control himself, anger and adrenaline mixed with his buzzing, fuming magic running through his veins. “I said get the fu–“

“Potter!”

A warm hand wraps itself around Harry’s arm. It’s very soft and gentle, and it immediately soothes him.

“Calm down,” Malfoy whispers. “He’s not worth it.”

Harry stares at the guy who is shivering and squeaking in panic below him. Harry did defeat Voldemort after all. The guy better be scared of him.

Draco begins to massage Harry’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. “Let go of him.”

Maybe it’s the soft touch, perhaps it’s Draco’s sweet voice. Maybe it’s just Draco’s presence in general. But Harry begins to calm down. He feels the adrenaline slowly wearing off and removes his hand from the guy. He takes a step back and takes a deep, shaky breath.

“Fuck off,” Draco hisses at the guy with such dominance, even Harry raises his eyebrows at him.

The bloke doesn’t need to be told twice. He rushes out of the bathroom with shaky knees and slams the door shut.

Harry still struggles to breathe slowly. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back. “ _Fuck._ ”

Malfoy doesn’t say anything. He gives him the time he needs. When Harry feels a little calmer, he opens his eyes again and sees Draco leaning against the door watching him. Harry feels exhausted now.

“Are you okay?” Draco asks. His voice is quiet and concerned. Harry doesn’t understand when exactly they’ve started to act like this around each other. This soft and caring and understanding.

Harry sighs. “Yeah. No. I don’t know. I just lost it.”

Draco nods. “Yeah. I know. Don’t worry about it. That guy was pathetic.”

Harry grunts. They don’t say anything for a while. Harry manages to calm down and takes a step closer towards Draco. He wants to say something, anything, but he doesn't know what to say. 

“He was very straight forward,” Draco eventually states, watching Harry’s reaction curiously.

“Happens all the time.”

“Do you ever say yes?”

Harry shakes his head. “When they behave like this? Never.”

It’s quiet between them again. Harry decides to speak up. “Thank you. For calming me down, you know.”

Harry doesn’t want to think about the fact that _Draco Malfoy_ , out of all people, managed to calm Harry down within seconds.

The corner of Draco’s mouth twitches as if he knows exactly what's going through Harry's head but he doesn't comment on it. He just shrugs. “No problem.”

“I need some fresh air.”

Draco nods. “I need a cig anyway. Do you want to come with me?”

“Sure,” Harry agrees because going outside to have a smoke with Draco Malfoy sounds fucking fantastic right now.

They use the exit at the back that leads to a secluded smoking area. The two men sit down on the bench with some safe space between them. Harry watches Draco fumble with the pocket of his jacket, and when he finally pulls out his cigarettes, he offers Harry one. And even though Harry doesn’t usually smoke, he takes a cigarette and puts it between his lips.

Draco hands him the lighter. They both light up their cigarettes and begin to smoke.

A weird silence settles between them. Harry feels the awkward tension again that he thought they had gotten rid of. But he’s just not used to talking to Malfoy yet. But since he doesn’t like the sudden silence, he decides to speak up.

“How did you know I – um. I - “, Harry doesn’t know how to finish his sentence, but Draco understands.

“I saw people staring at you and heard them talk about you. I noticed that you felt uncomfortable, so I followed you into the bathroom to see if you're alright, but the other dude was quicker.”

Harry tilts his head. He knows Draco well enough to know that there’s more to the story.

There’s a tiny blush on Draco’s cheeks, but it might just be the cold air. “I heard you guys talk. I didn’t know you were bisexual. I wasn't eavesdropping or anything. But for a very short moment, I thought you’d consider getting with him, so I didn’t want to interfere right away, and you know – I didn’t want to be a cock block so I waited.”

Harry actually laughs out loud now. He tilts his head back and wipes away a few tears forming in his eyes.

Draco smiles. “What’s so funny?”

“You being a cock block? My whole life is cockblocking me right now.”

Draco frowns. “I don’t understand.”

“I haven’t gotten laid in ages, man. How would I find someone here in Hogwarts anyway? You’ve seen the way people act around me. It’s insane.”

Harry doesn’t know why the hell he’s sharing that kind of information with Draco freaking Malfoy. But he feels comfortable enough right now.

Draco huffs, his eyes wide open. “Are you being serious?”

Harry nods and takes a drag from his cigarette.

“You could get with literally _anyone_ , Potter. You really do not have to live abstinently.”

Harry frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re the Golden Boy. You’re famous. You’re Little Miss Sunshine. Everybody loves you. And you’re _hot_!”

Harry raises his eyebrows in surprise, but Draco immediately jumps back. “I mean, I’ve heard people say that about you. You’re not ugly. That’s what I was trying to say. I don’t think you’re hot. I’d consider you average. You know. I don't -”

Harry chuckles and interrupts him. “Okay, okay. I got it. You don’t think I’m attractive.”

Draco nods. “Yes. That’s what I meant. I was just trying to say that anyone would literally throw themselves at you.”

Harry sighs. “But that's the problem. I don’t want to get with just anyone. The people here either go crazy for me, which scares the shit out of me. Or they faint the moment I talk to them. Trust me, these are bad conditions for a hookup.”

“So, you’re just not hooking up with anyone, then?”

Harry shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.”

“That is pathetic, Potter. You have fucking options, so use them! Some people don’t have that luck!”

Harry turns around and looks at Draco now. “What do you mean?”

“The people adore you, Harry. All you have to do is choose. I literally don’t have anyone to choose from.”

Harry opens his eyes. “Do you mean –“

“I haven’t gotten laid in ages, too. But for different reasons.”

Harry opens his eyes in surprise. That can’t be true. Draco Malfoy has problems getting laid? Draco Malfoy? The hottest guy in their year? “I don’t believe you.”

Draco exhales the smoke and looks up into the sky. “Tragically, it’s the truth.”

Harry shakes his head. “That really doesn’t sit with me. You, out of all people, have a problem getting laid?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?”

Harry shakes his head, blinking in irritation. “But, you’re attractive as fuck!”

Now it’s Draco whose head snaps around as he looks at Harry through dark eyes.

“I mean,” Harry rows back, panic building up inside of him. “I’m not attracted to you! Like, not at all. But, you know, many people consider you attractive. That’s all.”

Harry holds his breath. He doesn’t want Draco to think that he’s getting onto him. Harry doesn’t find Draco attractive. Sure, he’s a handsome man. No one would argue otherwise. Anyone who says differently would be blind and delusional. But Harry doesn’t want to _be_ with Draco. And he really doesn’t wish for Draco to think that he might want something sexual from him.

Draco presses his lips together, but he doesn’t comment on that. “I guess looks aren’t everything.”

Harry takes a nervous drag off his cigarette. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

An awkward silence settles between them again. And although Harry wants to say something, anything, he doesn’t.

Draco finishes his cigarette and flicks it away. Then, he gets up. “I’ll get back inside now. See you later.”

Harry nods. He feels as if he destroyed something between them, but he doesn’t know what that is. “Malfoy, wait.”

Draco turns around and watches Harry with an unreadable expression.

“Do you have a problem with me being bisexual?”

Draco tilts his head. “What makes you think that?”

Harry shrugs. “I don’t know. You don’t seem very open-minded. And I don’t want you to think I’m coming onto you.”

Draco smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Well. I’d be a hypocrite if I had a problem with that.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I’m gay. And don’t worry. The last thing I’d think is that Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is coming onto a death eater like me.”

With that, Malfoy turns around and heads back inside, leaving Harry behind feeling absolutely star-struck and nauseous.

* * *

For some reason, Harry can’t stop thinking about the fact that Malfoy is gay. He wishes he could talk to someone about those bound breaking news, but he doesn’t know if Draco is outed already. That’s why he keeps this information to himself.

The next week is long and nerve-wracking. School is taking a toll on him. He doesn’t eat much, he sleeps a lot, and he basically hides away from the world. Since he’s trying to avoid as many fan-encounters as possible, he spends a lot of time by himself. He doesn’t really feel like hanging out with his friends anyway.

Harry seriously contemplates apparating to London for a night out and look for a nice, quick fuck. But he knows that’s against the school rules, so he tries to get a grip on himself. He really doesn’t want to get in trouble for leaving the school grounds even if he’d probably get away with it.

When Friday finally comes rolling around, his friends are all motivated to go to the Leaky Cauldron again.

“Harry, please come with us!” Neville begs.

“No, thanks. I’m good. I’ll stay here and chill for the night.”

“But that’s so boring, mate. Please come!”

Harry shakes his head. “No, I’m serious. I’ll stay here.”

“Harry!” Luna cries. “It won’t be the same without you.”

But Harry really, really doesn’t want another horrible encounter at the Leaky Caldron. That’s why he insists on staying home.

They eventually leave him alone. Harry finally feels a little calmer now that he’s by himself. He begins wandering around the castle, turning left, then turning right. He doesn’t really know where he’s going until, all of a sudden, he finds himself at the Room of Requirement. He opens the door without thinking about anything in particular and steps inside.

The room looks very cozy. There’s a stack on the left, a desk with books, a vast, soft carpet, candles, and two big sofas. Harry smiles. Yeah, here he could relax for a little bit.

He walks over to the sofa and sits down on one of them, then he closes his eyes.

“Why am I not surprised to see you here?”

Harry nearly gets a heart attack and jumps up. His heart is racing, and the panic only slowly fades away.

“Fuck. You scared the shit out of me.”

Draco grins. His usually perfectly styled hair looks messy for once as if he had run his fingers through it multiple times.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Harry asks, still panting.

Draco shrugs. “What are _you_ doing here?”

Harry rolls his eyes and sits back down. “I’m getting annoyed with you, Malfoy. I really am. I'm starting to think you're following me around.”

Draco huffs. "Potter. I was here first. How am I supposed to follow you around, then? Maybe _you're_ the one following _me_ around?"

"Oh, shut up, Malfoy. You're being ridiculous and annoying."

Draco only grins. “Fantastic. Slowly going back to the good old times, then, are we?”

Harry shakes his head. “Merlin, please no. I’m too old for that now.”

Draco chuckles. “Harry Grandpa Potter, huh? Can’t keep up with me. You’re just too slow. I always knew it.” 

Harry snorts and lets himself fall back down onto the sofa. “You’re crazy. I was always one step ahead of you, Malfoy.”

Draco shakes his head. “You wish, Potter.”

Harry chuckles. “You know what? I actually prefer us this way.”

Draco raises his eyebrows. “What way?”

“Us getting along for once in our lives. Joking, talking. It's nice. I like that.”

Draco tilts his head in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. Don’t you?”

Draco shrugs. Then, he smiles. “Yeah, I guess. But I do miss fighting with you sometimes. It was so damn easy to rile you up. It was entertaining.”

Harry grins and shakes his head. “You’re unbelievable, Malfoy.”

“But seriously, Potter. All we ever did was fight and shout and insult each other. Who would’ve thought that you and I could ever have a normal, civil conversation with each other?

“I certainly haven’t.”

Draco grins. “Same. Anyway. May I offer you some firewhiskey?” Draco tilts his chin and points to the bottle of firewhiskey on the table.

Harry contemplates for a second. Should he really drink with Draco Malfoy? But then again, why shouldn’t he? “Yeah. Why not.”

Draco grins. He conjures a second glass with a flick of his finger. Harry tries to hide his admiration for Draco’s magic skills. He always secretly had admired Draco for that. Instead, he grabs the glass and takes a big sip.

“So. What brings you here tonight?”

Harry looks at him. Draco lays on the couch, shoes plopped up on the table in front of him. He seems very relaxed, which is a rare occasion. Draco looks handso - Harry stops himself from finishing that thought. 

“I don’t know. I really didn’t wanna go to the Leaky Cauldron again.”

“Why? You could’ve gotten laid.”

Harry huffs. “No, thank you very much.”

He takes another sip of his drink. Draco does the same thing.

“Aren’t you horny?”

Harry swallows the liquid and coughs, fights for air but doesn’t win since the whiskey has burnt its way down his throat. He needs a moment to collect himself, then he shifts in his seat uncomfortably. He feels weird discussing sex with Malfoy. He doesn’t even talk about sex with his friends.

“Um.”

“Are you? Horny, I mean?”

Harry presses his lips together and runs a hand through his hair.

“Oh, _cute_. You’re uptight.”

Harry frowns. “I’m not uptight.” He feels the blood rush to his cheeks.

“Yes, you are. You’re squirming, you get all blushy and awkward, you avoid my question. You’re uptight. That actually doesn’t surprise me at all. I bet you’re the flowers and hearts kind of guy.”

Harry shakes his head. “Not really.”

Oh God, why is he even admitting to this stuff? The Whiskey must be spiked.

“No?” Draco asks and tilts his head. His interest has clearly been sparked.

“No. And if you really must know: I am horny. All the time.”

Draco grins and sits up. “Now it finally gets interesting. Tell me more, Potter.”

“I don’t want to talk about sex with you.”

“Why? Because you’re uptight?”

“Merlin, no. I’m not uptight!”

“What is it then? What’s the problem?”

Harry shrugs. He doesn’t know why he can’t talk about Sex that openly. He dislikes it.

“Don’t trust me?”

Harry shakes his head. No, that’s not the case. He does trust Malfoy in a strange way.

“Because you’re uncomfortable around me?

Harry shakes his head again. “I don’t feel uncomfortable around you.”

Draco tilts his head, his eyes are softer than before.

“What’s the problem then?” His voice seems gentle now. 

Harry shakes his head again. He sighs. “I don’t know. I just don’t like talking about sex in general. It’s super private.”

“Oh, Potter. Stop being such a bore. Sex is so much fun. It’s natural. Come on, open up to me.”

Harry shakes his head. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Top or Bottom?”

Harry stares at Draco in disbelief. He can’t just talk to Draco about Sex!

“Top or Bottom? Come on, spill the tea.”

Harry bites his lip. Merlin. Fuck it. “Depends. Usually, top. But it doesn’t have to be.”

Draco leans back and watches Harry through interested eyes. “Nice.”

Harry ignores the churning feeling inside his stomach and doesn’t want to define what that means.

“Soft or rough?”

Harry sighs. “Malfoy, I really don-“

“Soft or rough?” he repeats.

“Rough, I guess. I don’t know.”

Harry hides his face between his hands.

“Do you prefer girls or boys?”

Harry watches Draco helplessly. He doesn’t really know the answer to most of these questions. “I don’t know. I’m not that specific.”

“So, you don’t have a type? No preference?”

“Do you?”

Draco licks his lips and stares at Harry for a while. He clears his throat, lost in his thoughts. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

Now _this_ sparks Harry’s interest. “And who would that be?”

Draco presses his lips together. “Nah ah. _I’m_ the one asking questions, not you.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!”

Draco takes a quick sip of his drink. “Well, that’s too bad, Potter. Go cry about it somewhere else.”

“What’s your type? Come on, tell me!”, Harry whines. He doesn't know _why_ he so desperately wants to know that.

Draco presses his lips together and shakes his head.

“Who’s uptight now, huh? Look at how the tables have turned!”

Draco stares at his glass and sighs. “I like guys with dark messy hair, smaller than me. I like green eyes and a muscular body.” 

“You basically just described me”, Harry states in confusion.

Draco shakes his head. “You’re not my type.”

“But I totally fit your description!”

“No, you don’t.”

“Malfoy, stop being ridiculous. You just described _me_.”

“But I’m not attracted to you, okay? I don’t find you attractive”, Malfoy spits out.

Harry presses his lips together and shuts his mouth. For a while, neither is saying a word.

“So, you just confirmed that I match your type. But you don’t find me attractive,” Harry eventually repeats.

Draco waits a couple of seconds before replying. He licks his lips. Then, he blinks. “No. I don’t find you attractive.”

Harry stares at his hands. He feels irritated. And somehow disappointed. “Okay.”

“So,” Draco obviously is trying to change the topic. “You’d just go for anyone who’s remotely pretty then?”

Harry grins and shakes his head, glad to hop on board and happy to change the topic. “No, I do need to find them attractive.”

“But what makes somebody attractive to you?”

Harry tilts his head as he thinks. “I don’t know. A nice laugh, a good sense of humor, intelligence. Someone who gets me, you know? Someone who vibes with me.”

Malfoy grunts. “What the fuck? You really are the definition of a Precious Golden Boy. What about abs? What about eyes, hair color? Nothing?”

Harry shakes his head. “No. That doesn’t really matter that much. As long as we get along nicely, I’m good to go.”

Draco huffs. “Why don’t _we_ just fuck then?”

Harry snorts again. He feels as if someone had punched him right in his stomach. After a few coughs, he stares at Draco. “Excuse me?”

“If you don’t care about looks, and if we’re both horny, why don’t we fuck?”

“Because you don’t find me attractive,” Harry states. “That’s what you said. Multiple times.”

Draco frowns. He blinks a couple of times. “Right.”

“And because _I_ don’t find _you_ attractive,” Harry feels the desperate need to state that once again. Just to make that clear.

“… Right,” Draco repeats. He seems to be lost in his thoughts.

Harry licks his lips. This conversation is making his head spin, and he doesn’t know what to say. “Yeah, anyway. Whatever.”

Draco eventually sighs. “What a shame. We could really help each other out. If only we would find each other attractive.”

“Do you think that I’m ugly?” Harry doesn’t know where that came from. Why does he even care about Malfoy’s opinion? He obviously doesn’t. Malfoy doesn’t matter at all!

Draco plays with his silver rings. “No, you’re obviously not ugly. Have you never looked in a mirror before or what?”

Harry tilts his head in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re obviously pretty. I’m just not into you.”

“Oh,” Harry states. His heart does not react to this. At all. It’s totally fine. He’s – yeah. “Okay.”

“It simply would be practical if we were into each other. Because then, we could help each other out. We both want to get laid but we can't as long as we're stuck in Hogwarts.”

Harry nods. His head spins, and he doesn’t know how to respond. The conversation went into a weird and confusing direction, and Harry can’t keep up anymore.

“Remember when Ron thought he was in love with Lavender? He was crazy about her, all because that psycho bitch poisoned him with Armortentia. But he wasn’t even into her. It was the opposite – he hated her!” Harry suddenly giggles. He doesn’t know where that thought came from and why his brain suddenly brought that up. It left the conversation moments ago anyway.

Draco’s head suddenly snaps up. “You’re brilliant.”

Harry looks at him in confusion, his eyebrows raised. “Am I?”

“Yes, Potter. You are.” Draco jumps up and begins to walk through the room. “We could brew Armortentia. It would make us believe that we are crazily attracted to each other. We could fuck and release some pressure. And then we can go back to normal.”

“Um.”

“That is actually fucking brilliant.”

“I’m not so sure about this,” Harry exclaims.

“Why not? Just think about it for a sec. You are horny, but you don’t want to fuck just anyone here at Hogwarts. I’m horny, but I _can’t_ just fuck anyone here at Hogwarts. We can help each other out. It’s amazing.”

Harry frowns. “Malfoy, you’re talking about _us_ having _sex_. Just like that. As if that means nothing.”

Draco shrugs. “Yes. Because it does mean nothing. What’s your problem?”

“It’s going to change everything between us. It’s going to be fucking weird afterward.”

“Potter. It’s already fucking weird. We’re not friends. We’re not enemies. What is there to lose? We’re not risking anything here. Fuck, we don’t even like each other. No feelings, no attachments, no risks. Just a one-time thing.”

This doesn’t sit well with Harry for some reason. But at the same time, he also doesn’t want to say no.

“Malfoy, I…-“

“Potter. I just really want to get laid. I’ll go insane if I don’t. And this is a perfect opportunity. A one-time thing. We’ll do this once, tonight. We’ll release some pressure, help each other out, and then we’ll go back to how it was before. I mean, we don’t even have a relationship that we could risk. We’re literally former arch enemies. What is there to lose?”

A lot, Harry thinks. He’s starting to enjoy talking to Malfoy, even if it makes him feel uneasy most of the time. He still enjoys it. He doesn’t want to destroy this tiny little development with Malfoy. But at the same time, he’s really horny, has been for months. And this could actually help him relax and make him feel good.

“Draco. Are you really sure about this?”

Draco nods. “Yes, I am.”

Harry sighs. “I don’t know…”

Draco sits down in front of Harry and grabs his hands. “Potter, stop being such a little chicken. It’s not like I’m taking your virginity or anything. It’s just about sex. We both get something out of this. Okay?”

Harry stares into warm, grey eyes and feels his self-control fade away. How could ever say no to Draco Malfoy? His enthusiasm is contagious. Draco is right. It’s a win-win situation.

“Fuck. Ok. I’m in.”

Draco’s eyes light up. “Seriously?”

Harry shrugs. “Yeah, sure. Why not? But isn’t this the room of requirement? Can’t we just wish for Armortentia and drink the one that the room gives us?”

Draco shakes his head. “I’d rather not. I trust myself most when it comes to potions.”

Harry nods. He also trusts Draco the most with potions, simply because he knows that the blonde man is brilliant at brewing potions.

“Okay, I’ll trust you with it. I’m shit at potions anyway.”

Draco grins. He lets go of Harry’s hands and he suddenly feels empty. “I know.”

Together, they exit the room of requirement and head down to the dungeons. Harry points out that they should probably use his cloak of invisibility since they’re on school grounds, and they’re not exactly allowed to go to the dungeons at midnight, but Draco couldn’t care less.

“I’m with the savior. I’m immune to punishment. And who gives a fuck anyway?”

So, Harry stays quiet and follows Draco. Draco seriously is a master at potions, Harry thinks. The moment he sits down in one of their classrooms, he begins watching Draco gather all of the needed things, and the other boy starts to brew.

Harry notices Draco’s long, clean fingers. He watches his blonde, soft hair. He can’t wait to kiss the pale skin on Draco’s neck soon. He feels a bubble of excitement inside of him, just thinking about that. He isn’t aware of the fact that he hasn’t even started drinking one sip of the love potion and already feels excited. No, he’s pushing that thought far, far away, not wanting to understand what it all means.

“I can’t concentrate when you are watching me,” Draco mumbles as he measures something Harry doesn’t recognize.

“Oh. Sorry”, Harry replies and rips his eyes away from him. He gets up and begins to wander through the classroom, trying to keep himself busy, so he won’t stare at Malfoy again. Harry doesn’t really know what to do with himself, so the raven-haired man starts to stretch his sore muscles. Schoolwork has been tough and he can feel the tension and the pain in his muscles every single day. Then, he turns around, and his eyes immediately find Draco’s. Draco looks away. He almost seems as if he got caught doing something forbidden.

Harry ignores the tight feeling in his chest and decides not to comment on that. He lets Draco work in peace. Harry tries to stop himself from thinking.

After what feels like an eternity, the other man sighs. “Ok. I’m finished.”

“Alright. Let’s head back to the room of requirement?”

Harry nods again. He’s suddenly very nervous, even though he’s never nervous about sex. He’s a confident guy. He’s got nothing to worry about. But something about Draco and something about this situation make him feel incredibly nervous. They walk back to the room of requirement in silence.

Draco opens the door, and when they step inside, they almost have to laugh. The room has stayed the same, but the sofas are now gone. Instead, there’s a huge, comfy looking bed in the middle of the room.

“Convenient,” Draco remarks and puts the two bottles on the table. “Are you still in on this?”

Draco suddenly seems unsure.

Harry takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I am. You?”

Draco nods, but he seems tense. “Yeah.”

The blonde man grabs the two bottles and hands one to Harry. This is it, Harry thinks. There’s no going back now. He doesn’t know whether he should be scared or excited about what’s to come.

They exchange one last glance before they both open the bottles and drink the entire thing.

For a few moments, Harry doesn’t feel anything. Wasn’t there supposed to be rainbows and butterflies? But the moment he puts the bottle down, it’s almost as if a warm blanket is thrown over him. He smells fresh wood, vanilla, and hot chocolate. The room turns warm and cozy; he feels relaxed and light. His muscles don’t hurt anymore. His stomach feels fluttery, and his heart beats in a calm, steady rhythm. The world feels safe and calm.

This is absolutely amazing. Harry has never felt like this before. And then, he opens his eyes and looks at the man in front of him. He watches Draco’s face. He notices the fluffy and tender state of Draco’s blonde hair. He realizes how smooth and soft Draco’s skin actually is. His eyes slide lower to Draco’s throat. Harry feels a strong desire to kiss his neck. He’s never seen someone so _fucking beautiful_. Draco’s hair falls onto his forehead, his eyes are closed, his lashes throw shadows on his cheeks. Merlin, how long those lashes are! Harry has never noticed before how full and glossy Draco’s lips are. Fuck, he wants to bite them and taste them.

He wants to grab Draco, push him against a wall, kiss him, and never, not even in a million years, let go of him.

When Draco finally opens his eyes, it’s almost as if the whole world stops. There’s nothing else, just these beautiful, grey eyes staring back at him. Harry never wants this feeling to end. He wants to drown in it with Draco. He can’t help the burning desire for Draco that is raging rough his body. The most beautiful man Harry’s ever seen is standing right in front of him. Harry must be the luckiest man in the world.

“Fuck,” Harry sighs. He won’t be able to resist any longer. He wants to touch this man so badly; his fingers are itching. His skin is burning.

And then, because he can’t wait anymore and because Draco won’t make the first move, Harry surges forward. He grabs Draco’s waist and his throat, pushes him against the desk, presses himself against Draco’s body, and begins to kiss him fiercely. The moment their lips meet, it’s as if Harry was starving before, and Draco is water, saving his life. He needs Draco to survive, needs him to be impossibly closer. He needs everything about Draco. He throws off his glasses and puts them on the table next to them, never letting go of Draco once. 

He wraps his arm around Draco’s waist and pulls him close to his body. The other hand wraps itself around Draco’s throat, and he kisses him. Draco kisses back with just as much passion and want. This was probably the best idea they’ve ever had.

“Oh God,” Draco sighs into Harry’s mouth. “Bed, Bed, Bed! Now.”

Draco grabs Harry’s shirt and guides them both to the bed. They fall into the sheets, Draco on top of Harry. Harry immediately runs his hands all over Draco’s body. He feels this desperate need to be closer, so much more intimate. He wants to taste all of Draco and never let go.

“Harry,” Draco moans as he begins to push his hips into Harry’s. Harry swears he sees stars at the sensation. “Harry, I need you to fuck me. I need you to be inside of me. Merlin, I need all of you. Need to feel you, taste you. Fuck me, please.”

Draco’s hands go lower, they rest over the buttons of Harry’s jeans and begin to unbutton them. He helps Harry jiggle out of them and finally roams his hands all over Harry’s body. Harry’s head rolls back. He lets Draco work his magic, allows him to do anything he wants to do.

He’s surprised when he feels Draco’s lips on his neck. He sucks gently at first, then he starts getting rougher. Draco’s left hand begins to cup Harry through his boxers, making Harry moan loudly. He didn’t think that Draco’s pure hand would feel like heaven. He’s never felt like this with anyone before.

When Draco manages to get rid of Harry’s boxers, he conjures some lube and gently squeezes Harry’s tip.

“Fuck,” Harry pants. His back is arching. He feels the need to grab something to keep him distracted. There’s nothing to hold. Therefore, he grabs Draco’s bicep and claws his fingers into his delicate skin. “Draco. Please, do something. _Anything_!”

Draco starts to kiss Harry, pushes his own body against Harry’s chest, and begins to stroke him gently. He’s being much more passionate than Harry would have expected, but he’s not complaining. Draco certainly knows what he’s doing. He builds up a steady rhythm, making it harder to breathe for Harry.

He tries to stay quiet, but he’s not succeeding. His skin is burning, and he desperately needs to cum. Draco seems to notice how close Harry already is. Therefore, he lets go of Harry’s cock and kisses him passionately.

He’s thankful for the distraction. He needs a moment to cool off and collect himself. When he finally feels a little calmer, Harry rolls them over. His head is spinning. All he can think of is _Draco, Draco, Draco_. How was he ever able to live without this wonderful man? He’s never noticed how well they actually work together. They’re made for each other. Draco is now lying on his stomach, waiting impatiently for Harry to make the next move.

“ _Harry_ ,” Draco moans. “Please, hurry up!”

Harry doesn’t want to rush anything. He wants to soak this moment, breathe it in and never forget how happy, complete, and fulfilled he feels. This view of Draco being sprawled all over the bed will haunt him for the rest of his life. He reaches out and begins to run his hands over Draco’s back. He gently traces patterns on Malfoy’s muscles, squeezes every now and then, and begins to massage him.

Draco squirms underneath him. Harry’s hands go lower and lower. Eventually, he grabs Draco’s arse cheeks with both his hands and begins to massage them. He kneads them thoroughly, spreads them apart, and strokes Draco’s hole every now and then with his fingers.

“Fuck,” Draco sighs. “God, Harry. You have no idea what you’re doing to me. Please, keep going.”

“You’re amazing, Draco”, Harry’s voice sounds so much raspier, it surprises them both.

Harry licks his lips and pulls Draco’s cheeks apart. He strokes Draco’s hole with his finger, teasing his entrance with it. Then, he leans lower and begins to lick Draco’s thigh. He wants to drive Draco mad. He wants him to beg for it. Draco is already panting heavily, but Harry wants more. He wants to hear him cry. That’s why he licks over Draco’s hole once. Just once.

“Harry,” Draco shouts and arches his back. “ _Fuck_ \- I - oh, Merlin - do that again! Please - I need so much more! Argh.“

Harry grins to himself, but he won’t be giving it to the blonde man so easily. He continues massaging Draco’s thighs, his arse cheeks, and every now and then, he lowers his lips and sucks Draco’s hole. Draco moans uncontrollably now, and Harry only hopes that the room of requirement is soundproof.

He begins to build up a steady rhythm with his tongue. Draco starts to move restlessly below him, arching his back and grabbing the sheets for support.

“Fuck,” he sighs. “Harry, _please_. I can’t wait much longer.”

Even though Harry would love to drag this into eternity, he knows that neither of them is going to last very much longer. Harry’s cock is throbbing painfully. And Harry desperately wants to drown inside of Draco tonight.

Therefore, Harry removes his mouth and conjures some lube into his hands. He strokes Draco’s back with his free hand as he enters one finger into Draco’s tight hole.

Draco lets out a desperate sob and slams a hand down onto the mattress. “Harry!”

“Okay? Tell me if it’s too much, babe.”

Draco bites his lip and shivers. Harry presses a kiss to Draco’s shoulder blades.

Harry slowly pulls the finger out of Draco, giving him time to adjust. He remembers that Draco had told him that he hadn’t had sex in a very long time. The last thing he wants to do is hurt the man. Therefore, he gently pushes back in and moves the finger inside of Draco, curls it, and teases him with as much care as possible. He tries to read Draco’s reactions, but he doesn’t know if Draco is in pain or in pleasure, judging by the way he’s squirming and moving underneath him.

“Please, Harry. I need so much more than that. I need to feel you inside me! I need you to fill me up, need your cock inside my arse”, Draco groans.

Harry lets out a moan himself. Merlin, this is so much hotter than he had anticipated. Who would’ve thought that Draco Malfoy, out of all people, would go crazy for Harry’s cock?

“Will you be a good boy for me Draco?”, Harry moans and bites Draco’s neck. “Moan my name, open your legs for me? Take all of me, scream for me? Tell me that you’re mine?”

“Oh my God”, Draco moans as his eyes roll back. “Yes, _I’m yours_. Fuck. Fuck me good and make me yours!”

Gently, he pushes in a second finger. He tries to open Draco, lets him adjust to the new sensation step by step. Every now and then, he strokes Draco’s back for comfort. After he’s added a third finger and pushed in and out for another couple of minutes, Draco nods.

“Harry,” he presses out. “I’m ready. I need you. Now!”

Harry sighs. He can’t imagine how it must feel to be inside of Draco. He pulls out his fingers.

Harry hurries up, conjures some lube onto his dick, and spreads some more around Draco’s hole.

“Please tell me if anything’s hurting you,” Harry whispers. He could never forgive himself.

“Quit the sweet-talk and fuck me like the man that you are!”

Harry grunts. He strokes himself twice before he places himself on top of Draco.

He presses a kiss down onto Draco’s shoulder, bites him, and sucks. He wants to leave marks all over Draco’s body. But right now, he wants to fuck him. Harry places himself in front of Draco’s entrance and teases him with the tip of his cock. He lets it slide across Draco’s entrance a couple of times without actually pushing in.

“Harry!” Draco shouts, arching his back. “Fuck. I need you inside me right now, please, fill me up, quit the teasing. Be rough with me.”

Harry presses another kiss onto Draco’s neck, and then, without any warning, he pushes in all the way. He swears he sees stars at the sensation of being inside Draco’s tight arse. It has never felt so fucking good. He’s close to passing out, just from being inside Draco. He can’t concentrate on anything else.

“Oh my god,” Harry groans and pushes himself up with his arms. He’s beginning to sweat, and he needs a moment to collect himself.

Draco arches his back, his mouth falls open, his eyes roll back, and Draco’s entire body tenses. “Fuck, this feels so so so good. You have no idea.”

Harry bites down on Draco’s shoulder. He can’t answer Draco right now. He’s already too far gone.

Draco begins to roll his hips into Harry’s. “Fuck me, Harry. Hard.”

So, Harry does. He pushes into Draco, again and again. Draco meets every thrust, moaning, and crying at the same time. They find a perfect, steady rhythm, both adjusting to each other’s movements perfectly.

“Harry, you have no idea how fucking good this feels. Please, fuck me harder. Touch me everywhere. I need you so much; please don’t stop.”

Harry bites down onto Draco’s skin as he continues to slam into Draco harder and harder. He fastens his pace, holds himself up by grabbing Draco’s hips with both his hands. Then, he grabs Draco’s left thigh, pushes it up, and guides it so that it now lays away from Draco in a 90-degree angle. This allows Harry to slide inside Draco even deeper. He hits him from a new angle. “Fuck, Draco, you have no idea how good this feels. So fucking good. You’re so hot.”

“Harry!” Draco moans and grabs Harry’s hand that is resting on his thigh. “Touch me; I need you so much closer.”

One hand keeps him steady, pushing down onto Draco’s back. The other is held tightly by Draco.

This feels so much more intimate than Harry has ever felt with anyone. He wants to do this forever, wants to feel Draco, wants to kiss him, wants to take care of him, touch him, and make him feel good.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Harry breathes into Draco’s ear. Draco is probably the most beautiful human being that Harry has ever laid his eyes on.

Draco doesn’t reply. All he can do is let his jaw fall open and accept Harry’s hard thrusts.

And Harry pushes into him in a steady, hard rhythm, his orgasm slowly building up. He knows that Draco won’t be able to walk tomorrow, but right now, he couldn’t care less. He slams into him, harder and harder, as hard as he can.

Draco’s mouth opens in a silent cry, his eyes are tightly shut, and the hand around Harry begins to squeeze tightly. “Harry, I’m so close - Nnnghh! “

Harry begins to suck the soft skin at Draco’s neck. He bites it, licks over it. Then, the wizard shakes his hand free from Draco’s firm grip, wraps his arm around Draco’s waist, and pulls him impossibly closer. He reaches out for Draco’s cock and begins to stroke him.

“Harry,” Draco cries. Draco lets Harry fuck him patiently, melts like butter in his arms. Harry tries to match his strokes with his thrusts. He can feel Draco’s hot breath brush his ear. His breathing is ragged, and the heat radiating from Draco becomes hotter and hotter. “Oh Merlin, Harry, don’t stop. Don’t stop. I need you, need your cock, fill me up, come for me, I need to feel your cum inside of me, please.”

Harry can’t hold himself back any longer. He slams into Draco with full force, grabs his skin tightly, and he’s sure there’s going to be bruises tomorrow. “Draco! Fuck.”

He’s so close to coming, the heat becomes almost impossible to bear. He’s sweating, he feels out of breath, but he doesn’t stop.

Draco raises his leg, allowing Harry to hit him even deeper. They both let out a desperate cry at that.

“Oh my god,” Draco cries. His body begins to go slack. “Please, please, Harry!”

Harry does. He gives everything he has left in himself. If he weren't in good shape from all the Quidditch Training, he wouldn’t have survived this.

A few more pushes. Harry can feel it. He’s already so freaking close. And when Draco moves his arm around Harry’s slim body and squeezes Harry’s ass, cups him, and holds his arse cheek tightly, Harry sees stars.

“Fuck!” he moans as he comes inside Draco. It won’t stop. He’s coming and coming until he feels close to passing out. He squirts his cum inside Draco’s hole, slows down his movements. He has never come this hard in his entire life. He feels dizzy and breathless and so, so good. Harry continues to stroke Draco.

Draco follows him close after. The moment he comes, he starts to tremble, groans and moans, and tenses in Harry’s arms.

“Oh my god, fuck!” Draco cries, and then, finally, he sinks onto the mattress, into Harry’s firm hug, and relaxes.

They both breathe heavily, unable to calm down.

“What the hell,” Draco pants, as if he’d run a marathon. “What was that? Merlin, I’ve _never_ cum so hard in my life.”

Harry nods, runs a hand through his sweaty hair, and tries to catch his breath. “I have no fucking idea. That was fantastic.”

Draco and Harry both roll onto their backs. Then, Draco starts to giggle. “Oh, Lord. That was insane. I can’t believe what just happened.”

Harry joins him. He feels so light and carefree and happy. He never wants this feeling to stop. “I’m so happy.”

Draco rolls over and smiles brightly at Harry. His eyes sparkle, his cheeks are rosy, and his dimples are showing. Harry’s heart flutters at the sight of that, and he reaches out for Draco, presses his lips on top of his, and pulls him into a tight hug.

“Harry!” Draco giggles and tries to get away from him. “We’re both dirty and sweaty.”

Harry shrugs. “I don’t care. I want to cuddle.”

Draco casts a cleaning spell on both of them. “This is much better. Now I can relax.”

Harry smiles and opens his arms for Draco. The blonde man happily cuddles into Harry’s body, wrapping his arms around his torso and resting his head on Harry’s chest. Harry begins to stroke Draco’s messy hair.

“Your hair is so soft,” he states.

“I use a lot of conditioner.”

Harry grins. “I have no idea what that is.”

“Of course, you don’t. You don’t need any of that, anyway. Your hair is perfect.”

Harry shakes his head. “Liar.”

“Nothing but the truth. I always loved your hair, you know?”

Harry frowns. “Really?”

“Mhm. It always made you look so cute, sleepy, and confused. Like you just rolled out of bed.”

Harry rolls his eyes and presses his lips against Draco’s forehead. “I could stay like this forever.”

Draco only hums in agreement, kissing Harry’s chest instead. He can feel Draco’s steady heartbeat, feels every part of Draco’s skin. He swallows the moment and never wants it to stop. He can’t believe he’s lying here next to Draco Malfoy after they’ve shagged their brains out. But Harry wouldn’t want to change a single thing.

“I haven’t felt this peaceful and happy in a really long time,” Harry eventually admits. He squeezes Draco.

“Me neither. I want to stay here until I die.”

Harry chuckles. He feels tired, but he doesn’t want to sleep yet. “I’m scared of tomorrow.”

“Why?” Draco’s voice is almost a whisper.

“Because I don’t want to go back to how things were. I want them to stay like this forever. I want to be with you forever.”

Draco looks up into Harry’s eyes and presses his lips on top of his. “Let’s just enjoy right now, okay? It’s perfect how it is now. Let’s not destroy it.”

Harry nods. “Yeah. You’re right. Are you staying with me for the night?”

Draco smiles and lays down on top of Harry. “Of course. Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Draco squeezes him tightly and buries his nose inside Harry’s neck. “You smell so fucking good. You have no idea.”

Harry smiles. “Yeah?”

“Hmm,” Draco mumbles. “I think this might be my new favorite smell.”

“What exactly?”

“Fresh wood, oak, marzipan.”

“Marzipan?”, Harry giggles.

Draco nods and gently bites into Harry’s shoulder. “Yeah. You smell like delicious marzipan.”

“That’s weird.”

Draco shrugs and kisses Harry’s cheek. “I like it.”

“How did we spend our entire life’s hating each other?”

Draco shrugs. “I don’t fucking know. I can’t imagine it now.”

Harry feels a painful sting inside his chest. “We wasted so many years.”

Draco nods but presses his lips on top of Harry’s. He begins to kiss him softly. Harry can’t get enough of it. They continue to kiss, Draco still on top of Harry, who slowly starts to stroke Draco’s hips, legs, waist, and back with his hands. Draco has the softest skin he’s ever felt in his life.

They kiss for a little more until they both start to get too tired. Draco rolls off Harry, snuggles into his side, and throws his arm over Harry’s stomach.

“I really needed this,” Draco mumbles and presses soft kisses on top of Harry’s chest.

Harry smiles. “Yeah, me too.”

“No,” Draco mutters, “Not in the same way. I _really_ fucking needed this.”

Harry doesn’t really understand what he means, but he’s too tired to ask. He wraps his arms around Draco’s petite body, presses a kiss on his forehead, and then falls asleep.

***

The moment he wakes up, he feels throbbing pain his head. Harry opens his eyes, slowly gets used to the light and his surroundings. There’s a body lying on top of him, it’s incredibly warm under the blankets, and he’s sweaty and gross.

“Ughh,” he groans. He needs a moment to relocate himself.

The body on top of him cuddles even closer, tucks its nose in the space between Harry’s shoulder and neck, and sighs happily.

The memories of last night hit him then. Harry suddenly remembers everything. The Leaky Cauldron, the Room of Requirement, Draco, his idea, the Dungeons, the brewing, the Armortentia, the Sex.

Fuck. Why did Harry and Draco both think this was a good idea again? Harry knew it would be fucking awkward the moment he could think clearly again.

He doesn’t move, too scared to wake Draco up. What would Draco say? What would he do? Will he avoid Harry from now on? Will he act differently? So many questions are running through his head while images of last night haunt his mind. Merlin, how is he ever going to --

“Harry,” Draco suddenly mumbles. Harry freezes. “Shut the fuck up.”

Harry frowns and lifts his head, but Draco’s hand snaps up and pushes him back down. “What?”

“I can hear you worry. It’s annoying. Go back to sleep.”

Harry exhales. “I’m not worrying.”

Draco wraps his arms around Harry’s torso. “Yes, you are. Now shut up, relax, and go back to sleep.”

“I can’t,” Harry admits. He’s wide awake now. Also, because he feels his morning wood sticking into Draco’s hip, which makes him feel a little awkward. But at least, Draco’s morning wood is pressing into his stomach, so it’s not _too_ bad. 

Draco sighs. “Then close your eyes and focus on my breathing.”

So, Harry does. He listens carefully to Draco, breathing in and out and tries to match his rhythm. At first, he feels himself getting lightheaded. But then, he’s slowly starting to relax.

“Better?” Draco mumbles.

Harry nods. He wraps his arms around Draco and manages to calm down a little. If Draco is okay with this, he could be okay with it too. They stay like this for a while. Harry loses a sense of time. After what feels like hours, Draco finally speaks up.

“I’m getting hungry. I think I’ll head to the Great Hall for breakfast now.”

Harry nods. “Okay.”

Draco pushes himself up, away from Harry. He gets out of the bed and starts to pick up his clothes from where they took them off last night. Harry watches him get dressed. Even now, sober and conscious, he can’t deny that Draco has delicate, soft skin and a wonderfully toned body. He feels his cock twitch at the sight. Harry stops his thoughts right then and there. No, he’s _not_ going to think about what this all means. Nope, not all.

“Stop staring, you creep.”

Harry blushes and turns away. He also decides to get up and jumps out of bed. He grabs his clothes and starts to get dressed too.

“Are you coming with me?” Draco suddenly asks, and Harry turns around in surprise.

Is this a thing now? Them hooking up and getting breakfast afterward? Harry doesn’t know the rules, and he’s incredibly confused.

Draco doesn’t seem to notice since he’s busy tying his shoes.

“I don’t know,” Harry admits. “I’m not really in the mood just yet.”

Draco raises his eyebrows.

Harry feels the need to explain. “I got used to not eating breakfast during the war. Everything was so stressful and hectic. We barely had time to shower nor eat. My rhythm is still fucked up. I’m barely hungry nowadays.”

Draco tilts his head. “I see. But you'll have to eat eventually, you know? It's pretty concerning how little you eat."

Harry doesn't comment on that.

Draco sighs. "Well, I’ll head downstairs then.”

Harry nods. “Okay.”

Draco walks up to the door. Harry doesn’t want him to leave just yet. “Is everything cool between us?”

Draco turns around and gives Harry a tiny smile. Small, but genuine. “Of course.”

With that, Draco walks out of the room and leaves Harry to himself.

* * *

When Harry gets back to his room, he’s already worrying about the marks on his body. How is he going to explain those to his friends? He really doesn’t want to talk about it all.

Therefore, he tries his hardest to hide the bruises on his body. He wears his thickest jumper and a scarf. But he’s sharing the room with four blokes who know him better than he knows himself. Obviously, they notice something is different the moment he enters their shared dorm room. He knows because they stare at him with raised eyebrows and questioning eyes. But thankfully, they don’t ask any questions. They know Harry well enough, and they give him his space. Harry couldn’t be more grateful.

When they head over to lunch, Harry feels a little bubble of excitement inside of him. He wants to see Draco. Hell, he wants to talk to him. But he can’t even explain what it is. They’re not friends, and they’re definitely not dating either. It’s nothing. A one-time thing. Right? _Right_. Harry forces himself not to think about any of it.

But still. Harry sits down next to Dean, Neville, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Luna. He immediately begins to fill his plate.

Hermione frowns. “Since when are we eating again?”

Harry shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m in a good mood today.”

He doesn’t notice the way his friends exchange curious glances.

“Did something happen?”

Harry shrugs again as he shoves a cinnamon roll inside his mouth. “No. Nothing. I just really enjoy life right now.”

His leg bounces up and down, he searches the Great Hall for Draco, but he can’t find him anywhere. Maybe he’ll see him at dinner.

* * *

It’s been a week since the hookup, and Harry can’t concentrate on anything else. He gets flashbacks of that night, his thoughts keep drifting to Draco, and he feels uneasy most of the time. He doesn’t know what it is. At first, he had been in a fantastic mood. He thought everything was great between him and Draco. He thought he was being cool. He could handle it. He never got attached to a One-Night Stand before anyway.

But then he quickly had to learn that his mind, his body, and his heart didn’t really follow his orders this time. Maybe something of that potion got stuck in his body and is making him fantasize about Draco now. Perhaps he didn’t actually get sober. Maybe, it’s changed his mind forever.

Harry doesn’t sleep well. He starts to feel anxious most of the time; he keeps dreaming about that night. He doesn’t eat regularly, and if his friends notice, luckily, they don’t comment on it. They know Harry well enough that something is up and that he will eventually talk about it when he’s ready.

But he can’t talk about this. How could he confess to his friends that Draco and Harry got high on a dangerous, potent love potion just to fuck the entire night? That doesn’t sit right, even with himself. And still, that night was absolutely incredible. It was so fantastic that his mind keeps drifting back to it. He can’t think about anything else.

At this point, he wishes he could just forget everything. The good thing is, he doesn’t see Draco often. They don’t have that many classes together, and there’s no reason to go and look for each other anyway. They’re not friends. The bad thing is, Harry _misses_ Draco. He desperately wants to see him, talk to him. Hell, just looking at him would be enough. Harry is utterly fucked and he forces himself not to think about it too much. Doesn't want to think about what any of this means.

But when Draco suddenly steps inside the library where Harry is currently trying to do homework and sits down next to him, Harry is genuinely surprised.

“Didn’t see you at breakfast nor lunch the entire week,” Draco introduces himself and puts his bag down on the table. "I thought we agreed on you eating more regularly."

Harry feels overwhelmed. God, Draco smells fantastic. Keep it cool. Don’t think about it. “Um. Yeah. I – I don’t know – I felt very stressed.”

Draco doesn’t look at him but rummages about inside his bag. “And why is that?”

Harry sighs. He really can’t tell Draco that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the other man. They agreed on casual terms. A one-time thing to release some pressure. If Harry opens up about his weird emotional state, Draco would roll his eyes, make fun of him, or, worse, get actually annoyed with him and stop talking to him at all. Harry doesn’t want that.

“I don’t know,” Harry lies. “I guess I’m not good at this school thing. Homework is really stressing me out. Also, I want everyone to just leave me alone, you know?”

“Am I included in ‘everyone’?”, Draco asks carefully.

Harry smiles softly at him and shakes his head. “No. Of course not. You can stay.”

Draco leans back, his grey eyes turning soft and gentle, and hums. “Well. First of all, you need to eat. You look like shit.”

Draco puts down a tiny blue lunch box in front of him. Harry stares at it in absolute confusion.

“What is that?”

Draco shrugs. “Breakfast.”

Harry can’t believe this. Did Draco actually get him breakfast? His heart swells, and his chest flutters. That is very, very sweet.

He opens the box and sees a banana, a yogurt, a croissant, a sandwich, and a few crackers inside. Harry is speechless. He looks up at Draco, who keeps himself busy looking through his bag again.

“Thank you!” Harry presses out. He feels overwhelmed. “Thank you. I really appreciate this.”

Draco simply nods. “You’re welcome. What are you working on?”

Harry sighs. “Potions. You know how much I suck at Potions.”

Draco grins. “Yeah, I do. But I’m brilliant at Potions, so I’ll help you with it.”

Harry raises his eyebrows in surprise. Why is Draco being so kind to him? 

Draco ignores Harry’s surprised face and skids closer. He can smell Draco even better from here, and it’s making his head spin. God, Draco does smell fantastic. He grabs Harry’s book and his parchment paper and reads the exercise. “Ah. That’s easy. Let me explain it to you.”

And Draco does. They sit together for an hour, Draco explaining to him what the solution looks like. And for the first time, Harry actually gets it. He understands the whole procedure. He’s never understood anything in potions, but Draco makes it seem so manageable and easy.

When they’re finally done, Draco reaches for his bag, ready to leave. But Harry doesn’t really want him to go just yet. Surprisingly, he really does enjoy his company even when they’re sober and doing boring stuff. Doing homework together, for example. “Draco?”

Draco looks down at him, raises his eyebrow, and waits for Harry to speak up.

Harry takes a deep breath. “Do you want to repeat last week?”

**

Harry can’t believe he asked Draco out. He didn’t really ask him out. But this still feels like a date. Draco had immediately agreed to repeat their little adventure from last week. He had told Harry he would brew the potion and that they should meet around 10 pm.

That’s why Harry stands in front of the mirror, checking himself out for the tenth time and adjusting his wild, messy hair.

“You look great, Harry. Don’t worry. Whoever it is, they’ll be blown away”, Neville reassures him.

He hasn’t told any of his friends about Draco. But they know him and Harry couldn’t lie to them anyway. So, he explained that he had a date with a special someone. He didn’t want to drop the name, and they had accepted it.

“You don’t know that. He’s not like that.”

Ron tilts his head. “Oh! So, it’s a guy then! Hm. This is fun. I’m pretty sure I’ll find out who it is by the end of this term.”

Harry avoids his friends’ attentive eyes. “Maybe.”

Hopefully not.

“Is that why you like him?” Dean asks. “Because he doesn’t kiss your ass like everybody else?”

Harry stops in his movements and thinks about that for a moment. Draco doesn’t sugarcoat things, and he definitely isn’t obsessed with Harry. Yeah, maybe that’s why they get along. At this point, Harry doesn’t know anything anymore. Also, he doesn’t want to read too much into it. Draco told him he’s not into Harry. It’s just about sex. They’re not dating. They’re not getting into a relationship. They’re not even friends. It’s – _nothing._ Yeah. Nothing. And Harry definitely _feels_ nothing. Yes. He doesn’t think about why that’s stinging inside his chest so much. Nope.

“I don’t like him,” Harry answers. “It’s just about sex and nothing else.”

Neville, Dean, and Ron burst out into a fit of giggles. “Sure. That’s why you’ve been getting ready for over an hour now.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Just a habit.”

Ron grins and shakes his head. “No, Harry. Not just a habit. You usually don’t even shower before going out to get laid. This is new.”

Harry bites his lip and ignores that comment. He doesn’t fancy Draco, ok? Like, not at all. But he’s interested in him as a person. They’ve been enemies for so long, and maybe it’s time to put that all aside and start fresh. And if that means fucking their brains out, he’s okay with that. Because Draco smells amazing, he has an incredible body, the softest hair Harry has ever touched, and a lovely smile. He brings him breakfast and he knows how to push Harry’s buttons. Merlin. Harry needs to stop thinking _right now_.

“Anyway,” Dean says and throws a Hoodie at him. “You have to go. You’re late.”

“Shit,” Harry mumbles, takes a bite of the banana and rushes to the door. The boys are all laughing at him. He knows how this looks like. As if he actually cares about this dick appointment. As if he has a genuine crush. But he doesn’t! Let the boys think about what they want. Harry knows it best anyway. He doesn’t like Draco. He doesn’t want anything from him but the sex.

* * *

“Ready?” Draco asks as he hands him the little bottle.

Harry nods. Fuck yes, he’s ready. He’s anticipated this moment the entire day, and he can’t wait.

He takes the bottle and gulps it down in one take. Last time, he was nervous because he didn’t know what was expecting him. Now that he knows, he’s confident, and he can’t wait. Draco drinks the bottle and puts it back on the table.

The moment the love potion begins to have an effect, he lunges forward. He grabs Draco’s face, presses his lips on top of his, and guides him to the bed. Draco lets it all happen. He kisses him back, grabs Harry’s waist, and pulls him closer. They let themselves fall on top of the bed and into the sheets.

It’s passionate, hot, and incredibly sexy. Harry doesn’t ever want to stop. His fingers are tingling when he touches Draco. His entire body feels as if it’s on fire. Draco kisses him back and begins to roll his hips.

“Fuck,” Harry whispers into the kiss. He bites Draco’s lip and then grabs the boy’s t-shirt. He pulls it over his head and surges down to kiss Draco’s chest.

Draco lets it all happen. He moans happily, adjusts to Harry’s wild pace, and runs his hands through his black hair.

“God, I _missed_ this”, Draco moans.

Harry hums in agreement. He missed it too. Now that he’s finally in bed with Draco, the world makes sense again.

Harry kisses all the way down and finally unbuckles Draco’s belt. In one swift movement, he undresses Draco and throws his jeans and his boxers away. Then, he licks his lips and starts to massage Draco’s already hard cock with his right hand. His left hand is massaging his balls.

“Harry,” Draco sighs. “Please do something. Please!”

Harry loves listening to Draco begging. Who would’ve thought that Draco begging for it could be so fucking hot? He licks the inside of Draco’s left thigh. Draco shivers.

“Potter,” he moans. “I swear to god, I will kill you if you don’t do something.”

“Be a good boy then, will you?”, Harry moans before he grabs Draco’s dick and wraps his lips around him. Draco’s head falls back as his back arches. “Fuck.”

Harry begins to move his head up and down and massages his balls at the same time. He’s painfully hard himself now.

“Fuck, Harry. Don’t stop.”

Why would Harry stop? He wishes he could do this for the rest of his life. Being with Draco, seeing him like this, feels so fucking right. There’s nothing in this world that makes him feel better. He feels like he’s supposed to be right here, with Malfoy.

He continues to suck him until Draco painfully pulls on Harry’s hair. “Stop. Stop. I’m about to cum.”

Therefore, Harry stops his movements and tells Draco to turn around. He takes off his shirt, his jeans, and his own boxers, throwing the clothes away carelessly. He conjures some lube into his hands and rubs Draco’s hole with it. He’s already so relaxed. It’s easy for Harry to push a finger inside.

Harry watches Draco with fascination as he slowly enters another finger. Draco’s back muscles move beautifully. His face is warped with pleasure.

“You have no idea how many times I wanked over the thought of you”, Draco sighs.

Harry’s mouth falls open in surprise. “You did?”

“Mhm.”

“What did you think of exactly?”

Draco grabs the sheets, while Harry continues to move his fingers inside of him. “You. Your muscles. Your hands grabbing my ass, my arms, my legs. I imagined you kissing me, hard. I thought of you pushing inside me, painfully slow. Then, painfully rough.”

Harry moans out loud. “ _Fuck_.”

“I thought of your tummy, so toned yet so soft. I dreamed of biting your soft skin, licking it, and moving lower. I imagined myself sucking your cock and making you cum.”

Harry has to stop for a second. His head falls onto Draco’s shoulder, and he bites it, groaning. His dick is so hard, it’s actually painful now.

“I thought of you screaming my name. I pictured me riding you.”

Harry bites his lip until he feels blood. Merlin. "Merlin. Stop _talking_. Or else I'll come right here, right now."

“I’m ready,” Draco sighs. “Please, I’m ready.”

Harry shakes his head. He’s barely even prepared him. “No. Don’t want to hurt you.”

“Potter shut the hell up. I don’t need butterflies and roses. Just give it to me already. You should know that by now. Rough and hard, remember?”

Harry presses his lips together. Even though he really wants to fuck Malfoy already, he doesn’t want to hurt him. He wants him to enjoy this just as much as Harry. But then again, Malfoy already told him that he likes it rough. And last time wasn’t exactly soft either. Why should he not follow Draco’s directions?

Fuck it, Harry decides. He’s so painfully hard. He needs Draco, and he already got his permission anyway. He pushes in without any warning, without being careful. He slides in all the way.

Draco’s back arches, and his fingers turn white as he grabs the sheets. “Oh, god. Yes. That’s what I’m talking about.”

Harry grins. Then, he starts to push into Draco. He’s rough and quick. He doesn’t try to be gentle, just like Malfoy had told him to. His fingers sink into Draco’s hips. There will probably be bruises tomorrow. He slams into him harder, quicker. It’s making him sweat, but it’s so fucking good. He can’t think of anything else but Draco.

“Harder, Potter!”

Harry follows his orders. He moans, loses himself in Draco as he starts to feel his orgasm slowly building up inside of him.

“Fuck, yes,” Draco moans. Harry can tell that he’s close too. They’re both so sensitive to each other’s touch.

And then, Harry hits this particular spot inside of Draco. Draco’s head snaps up, his mouth falls open, and he looks as if he’s about to pass out.

But Harry doesn’t stop. He continues hitting that spot, pushing Draco over the edge. Moments later, Harry follows him and comes himself with a loud grunt.

He collapses on top of Draco and lets his head rest on his shoulder. He’s breathing heavily. “Wow. I fucking love this.”

Draco nods. “Yeah. Same. This was insane.”

“This was probably the best idea we’ve ever had.”

Draco nods again, still panting heavily. “Absolutely, yes.”

Harry closes his eyes, feeling exhausted. He shouldn’t fall asleep, but it’s so relaxing and comfortable lying here with Draco. He feels safe.

Harry pulls out of Draco, whispers a cleaning spell, and lays back down on top of Draco. He wraps his arms around Malfoy’s petite body and presses a kiss on his shoulder. Then, he closes his eyes and eventually nods off.

**

“Harry!”

Only a couple hours later, he jumps up. He doesn’t know what the dream was about, but he’s sweaty, his heart is beating as if he had run a marathon, his breathing is ragged, and he doesn’t know where he is. The nightmares still come and go once in a while. Even if it had gotten better, the past always tends to hunt him.

“Harry,” Draco whispers, wrapping his arms around the raven-haired boy. “Relax. It was just a dream.”

The memories come flooding back in. The Room of Requirement, the Armortentia, the sex, Draco. He takes a deep breath and sinks into Draco’s arms. He doesn’t know if he’s still under the influence of Armortentia or if it has now worn off. All he can think of is Draco and his arms and the safety that he feels when he’s with Draco.

Draco presses his lips to Harry’s forehead. “What did you dream about? You kept shouting and kicking me.”

Harry sighs. “Did I? Fuck, I’m sorry.”

He can feel Draco smile against his forehead. Draco tightens his arms around Harry. “Don’t worry. I get them too, you know.”

Harry turns around in surprise so that he can look at Draco. “You have nightmares?”

Draco shrugs. “Sometimes. I guess all of us war kids have them, right?”

Harry nods and presses a soft kiss to Draco’s cheek. “Yeah, probably.”

“So, what did you dream about?”

Harry frowns. “I don’t really know. Sometimes, they’re so clear and vivid. And at other times, I’m just left with the feeling. I felt horrified and lost.”

Draco’s arms tighten around him. “Mhm. Don’t worry, you’re safe now.”

“What do you usually dream about?”

Draco clears his throat. “About Voldemort. And the time when he lived with us. It was the most terrifying time of my life.”

Harry listens to him. He can’t believe he’s actually opening up like this. Draco never talks about his feelings. Even Blaise and Pansy have mentioned that to Harry a few times before. Over time, they had all started hanging out more.

“I also dream of being lonely. Hogwarts isn’t necessarily being nice to me, you know. The people here can be … cruel.”

“I know how you feel. I’ve experienced some bullying myself. It’s awful.”

Draco kisses Harry’s cheek. “I’m really sorry you had to go through all of this. I know that I wasn’t exactly nice to you back then either.”

Harry closes his eyes. “I’m sorry you have to go through this right now. And I honestly couldn’t care less about the past. We were both behaving like immature dicks.”

Draco chuckles. “You’re right. We really were. Hating you was so _exhausting._ ”

“Mhm”, Harry mumbles. “Yeah, fucking you is so much nicer.”

Draco barks out a loud laugh now. Harry giggles. “Who would’ve thought we would end up like this, huh? Fourteen-year-old me would throw a tantrum if he could see us right now.”

Harry smiles. “I’m glad we moved on. And honestly, it’s not even that odd. We actually have quite a few things in common. It just works between us, you know?”

Draco sighs. “You’re only saying this because the Armortentia is clouding your brain.”

Harry feels a painful sting at this comment. Draco is probably right, but something inside of him doesn’t want to believe that. There’s something _special_ between them. With or without the Amortentia, Harry enjoys Draco’s presence.

Harry chooses not to answer. Instead, he snuggles into the blankets and pulls Draco’s arms tighter around his body. “Please stay with me for the night.”

Even though that’s not really part of their just-a-shag agreement, Draco nods. “Of course.”

He eventually starts to feel tired again. His eyes fall shut, and he drifts off into a more peaceful sleep.

* * *

The next morning, they are already much less awkward around each other than the last time. Draco accepts the fact that Harry doesn’t want to have breakfast. He gets dressed and hands Harry his clothes.

Again, Harry doesn’t want to leave things on this note. He feels as if he has to speak up. “Are we good?”

Draco rolls his eyes. “Of course. Don’t worry so much.”

Harry shrugs, but there’s still a smile on his face. “Okay. I’ll try.”

Draco walks up to the door but stops himself before leaving. He turns around and watches Harry with an unreadable expression.

Harry tilts his head and waits for Draco to speak up. He can’t help but feel nervous.

“So,” Draco begins. “Is this becoming a thing now?”

Harry’s heart speeds up. Oh, God. What is he supposed to say? He shrugs. Play it cool, Potter! “I guess.”

Draco licks his lips. He seems unsure, but that can’t be. Draco Malfoy isn’t the kind of guy to be nervous.

“Do you _want_ this to be a thing?” Draco asks.

“Um. Yeah. I guess.”

Draco watches him for a while.

Harry clears his throat and takes a deep breath. Fuck it. “Yes. I do.”

That makes Draco grin. He nods, runs a hand through his messy sex-hair, and turns around. “Good. Then I’ll see you on Friday next week. Ten pm.”

Harry can’t fight back the bubbly feeling inside his chest. He wishes he could, but it’s so strong, he can’t push it down. “Sounds good.”

* * *

“I haven’t seen you this excited in a long time,” Hermione notices a couple of days later at lunch. She watches Harry eat enthusiastically as his legs bounce up and down.

Harry shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m just in a good mood.”

Hermione frowns. “Has that anything to do with the boy you’re seeing?”

Harry chokes on his sandwich. He coughs and takes three large gulps of water to swallow it. “No. Absolutely not. I don’t even care about him.”

Hermione raises an eyebrow. She smirks at him. “Who are you trying to fool here?”

Harry shakes his head. “I’m serious. The sex is great, that’s all. I don’t even know him that well.”

Hermione hums. “Hm. Okay.”

“Have you already done the transfiguration assignment?” Harry obviously tries to change the topic because he doesn’t want to talk about this thing with Draco. It’s all going in a great direction. He doesn’t want to overthink it. All he wants is to enjoy the moment.

* * *

It becomes a habit, this thing between the two boys. Every Friday night, they meet up at the Room of Requirement. Draco always comes prepared with two bottles of Armortentia, which makes Harry feel nervous and excited every single time. For some reason, he can’t get used to being around Draco. Something about this new level of their relationship makes him nervous but in the right way. In a good way. He doesn’t think about it. He _can’t_.

He enjoys the sex, the kissing, the cuddling. He even enjoys falling asleep next to Draco. If it’s all just the Armortentia, it feels crazy real.

He mentions that to Draco one night. He’s still high on endorphins, sex, and love.

“Sometimes, I feel as if the high doesn’t really ebb off.”

Draco turns around. The other man looks into Harry’s eyes. God, he’s so incredibly beautiful. Harry can't help but kiss him softly.

“You mean you still feel like this when we don’t drink the Armortentia?”

Harry immediately rows back. “No, no. No. I – I don’t know. I just enjoy these moments with you so much. I’m sad when they’re over.”

Draco smiles and kisses him back. “I know. I feel the same way.”

Harry knows he’s only saying this because his mind is intoxicated. But it still feels nice hearing him say this.

“I could spend the rest of my life like this,” Draco whispers as he pulls Harry closer to him.

Harry hums in agreement. “Yeah. Me too.” He doesn’t think about how true this statement really is.

***

Harry can’t concentrate on his Professor, telling him about Ancient Wizard History. He’s not tired – he’s restless. His mind rushes to ten million different places, he scratches the wood of the table and uses his magic to get it repaired, and he bounces his leg up and down.

“Harry,” Ron hisses. “What the hell is up?”

Harry doesn’t know himself. He simply doesn’t want to sit still for another hour. He needs some sort of release. He needs Draco, to be exact. He misses Draco. The weekly meetings with him simply aren’t enough anymore. Harry wishes he could see him every single day.

He can’t tell Ron that, for obvious reasons. But Ron still watches Harry through worried eyes. “Man. You’re behaving really weird today. When was the last time you and your mysterious guy hooked up?”

Harry’s head snaps around. He gleams at Ron. “That has nothing to do with him!”

Ron raises an eyebrow. He doesn’t seem convinced.

Suddenly, Harry hears a little squeak close to his foot. Harry looks down, looking for anything that could’ve made that sound. Then, something tiny hits the left side of his foot. Harry frowns and takes a closer look. And there, hidden behind his bag, sits a little mouse looking up at him with huge, terrified eyes.

Harry’s heart swells at the sight of the tiny thing. He conjures some cheese and very softly moves closer to the animal.

“Harry, mate. Have you gone insane? What the hell are you doing? And why does it smell like French cheese all of a sudden?” Ron hisses again.

“There’s a mouse!”

“A what?” Ron squeaks and moves away from Harry.

Harry chuckles. “Ssshh. A mouse.”

The mouse slowly moves closer. It grabs Harry’s finger with her little paws, places a piece of paper in it and then, happily takes the cheese. She stays where she is, hidden behind Harry’s bag, and eats the cheese.

Harry gets up from under the table again and frowns at the piece of paper in his hand.

“What the hell?” Ron squeaks, his eyes are wide open. “Did the mouse just give you that?!”

Harry shrugs. “Yeah.”

He opens the piece of paper and notices neat handwriting. He begins to read.

“Harry, I transformed a condom into a mouse. Meet me at the Prefects’ bathroom in ten minutes. D.”

At first, Harry chuckles. Then, he realizes what this means. Harry’s heart rate speeds up. Draco wants to see him - Right now! He has no idea how he’s supposed to get out of this lesson, but he has no options here. His entire body craves Draco. He needs to see him, no matter what.

Without thinking, he raises his hand. He immediately gets the Professor’s attention. “Yes, Mr. Potter? Is everything alright?”

Ah, the perks of being The Golden Boy, as Draco always puts it. “May I excuse myself to go to the hospital wing? I think I’ve distorted a muscle during Quidditch training. It really hurts.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Of course, Mr. Potter. You may, please.”

Harry, for once, enjoys his special status. The man thanks Merlin and all the stars in this world for getting him out of the lesson that quickly. He grabs his bag and his cloak and rushes out of the classroom, ignoring Ron’s frowning stare and forgetting the piece of paper on the desk.

* * *

He bursts inside the bathroom and already notices a pleasant smell coating the air. “Draco?”

Turning his head, he searches for Malfoy and walks further into the large bathroom, only to be met with a shirtless Draco pouring some oils into the huge bathtub filled with bubbles.

Harry watches him mesmerized. How could anyone be so beautiful?

“Ah,” Draco says without looking up. “You’re finally here. Did my little mouse find you then?”

“I was stuck in Magic History.”

“Huh,” Draco notices. “How did you get out of that? Oh, wait. Don’t. I already know the answer.”

Harry presses his lips together as Draco chuckles amused. He straightens himself and walks up to Harry. He holds his breath and anxiously waits for Draco’s next move.

“Ready for some fun?”

Harry licks his lips. “Why here? And why now?”

Draco shrugs, but his eyes don’t leave Harry’s. “I was horny. I have a free period, and I really could use some...

company.” 

Harry’s heart beats faster. He runs a hand through his messy hair – Draco follows the movement with his eyes.

“Okay,” is all that Harry brings out. He feels nervous all of a sudden, but in the right way. His stomach is fluttering in anticipation.

Draco turns around, reaches for the two bottles of Armortentia, and holds one out to Harry. “Cheers!”

Harry clinks their glasses and swallows the liquid in one go, never leaving Draco’s intense stare. He feels the power of the love potion run through his veins, clouding his brain, and taking away any sense of rational thinking. He takes a deep breath.

This time, it’s Draco who surges forward. He surprises Harry by pressing his lips on top of Harry’s and by kissing him passionately. Harry lets it happen. He enjoys letting go and allowing Draco to take the lead for once. It’s exactly what his nervous mind and tense body need right now. He sighs into Draco’s mouth and melts like butter in Draco’s firm hands.

The blonde man lets his hands roam all over Harry’s body. He tucks at his shirt and manages to pull it over Harry’s head. Then, they break the kiss apart and stumble out of the rest of their clothes. Harry giggles when he almost trips over. “Whoops.”

Draco chuckles. “You look so cute, Potter.”

“Sorry.” He blushes.

He moves closer to Draco and waits for him to make the next move. He eventually does by taking Harry’s hand and guiding him to the big bathtub. The water is warm and smells fantastic. “Mmm. What did you put in there?”

“Lavender, Chamomile, Vanilla, and Honey.”

Harry hums. “Wow. You really did everything you could, didn’t you?”

Draco smiles and moves closer to Harry. Together, they step into the big bathtub, letting the water warm them both. Draco wraps his arms around Harry’s torso from behind and begins kissing his neck. “I’d do anything for you.”

Harry sighs and lets his head roll back, relishing this moment with Draco. “This is the happiest I’ve felt in a long time.”

“Hmm?” Draco hums.

“Yeah. You make me really, really happy, you know.”

Draco begins to bite his neck. He can feel himself growing harder each second. Draco’s hands roam all over Harry’s body, making him shiver. Finally, Harry turns around in Draco’s arms and begins to kiss him slowly. There's much more passion between them this time. There’s no need to rush anything.

They kiss for a while, hands exploring each other’s bodies. Every now and then, Draco’s hand brushes over Harry’s dick, sending sparks through his body. Harry bites into Draco’s lip and reinforces his grip on Draco’s biceps.

Draco begins to push him to the edge of the bathtub, pushes him against the cold stone, and presses his own body and his hardening cock against Harry’s stomach. Harry sighs happily. He feels butterflies not only in his stomach but in his entire body.

Draco begins to move against Harry, rubs himself on him, and Harry never thought he’d enjoy this as much as he does. He loves allowing Draco to be in control.

Draco grabs Harry’s neck with his left hand and squeezes just enough to make sure that Harry knows he’s still in control after all. He could stop this at any moment. It’s the perfect mixture of rough and passionate, and Harry’s head begins to spin.

His right-hand moves lower and he eventually grabs Harry’s dick. He begins to stroke him slowly, making Harry’s jaw go slack and his mouth drop open. Little grunts are coming out of his throat, and Harry already sees stars at the sensation, and he doesn’t know how long he will last this time.

Draco grabs Harry’s shoulders and gently turns him around. He grabs Harry’s ass cheeks and begins to massage them softly but firmly.

Eventually, Draco conjures some lube and begins to rub Harry’s hole.

“Fuck,” Harry hisses at the sensation. “Please don’t stop!”

He rolls his head back and tries to adjust to the new feeling of Draco’s extended finger, pushing in and out of his hole. He’s being gentle, but it still stings.

Draco bites Harry’s neck and rubs his free hand over his stomach. The warm water soothes his muscles and helps him relax. When Draco pushes in a second finger, Harry bites his lip and holds on to the bathtub.

He manages to relax more and more, allowing Draco to slip his third finger in with almost no resistance.

“I’m ready,” Harry moans. “Draco, I’m ready, please.”

But Draco doesn't listen. He begins to massage Harry’s shoulder with his free hand. The other pushes into Harry at a quick pace. Harry needs to focus. Otherwise, he might come just from this.

“ _Draco_!”

Draco seems to understand. He removes his hand, spreads some lube onto his dick, and positions himself. He kisses Harry’s neck to calm him.

“Ready?” he whispers and holds onto the raven-haired man’s waist. For some reason, this feels so much more intimate and serious than the many other times they’ve fucked. This almost feels like making love. Or maybe Harry has officially lost his mind and is imagining things.

Harry nods eagerly. “Yes, please!”

And then, finally, Draco pushes in with one smooth movement. Harry sees stars, his head spins, and the air gets stuck in his lungs. His mouth falls open, and he sinks against Draco’s chest. Draco holds him up with his strong arms and gently begins to move. He’s sweet and careful, and he gives Harry enough time to adjust to his movements.

“Okay,” Harry breathes after a while. “It’s okay. Move. Harder, please!”

And Draco does. He speeds up his movements, begins to thrust harder, his nails sink into Harry’s stomach, and he grunts into Harry’s ear.

“Oh God,” Harry moans. If he could stop time, he would. This feeling with Draco, being with Draco, gives him this spark of joy that he never wants to miss ever again. “Fuck, Draco!”

Draco grabs Harry’s back with both hands, pushes him forward in a bending position. Now, Draco can hit Harry from a different angle, pushing inside harder and faster. When he hits that particular spot inside him, Harry moans loudly, bites in his own arm, and tries to control his body to stop himself from shaking. It’s all too much. He desperately needs to come. He’s so freaking close.

“Oh Merlin, Harry, I won’t last much longer! You feel _so_ fucking good, you have no idea. ”

“Me too. Close, so fucking close”, Harry pants. He’s unable to form any clear thoughts.

When his orgasm finally hits him, it hits him with such intense power, Harry feels like fireworks are exploding inside of him. His body is shaking, his legs feel weak, and he feels out of breath. Draco follows him close after, they’re both collapsing against each other. They sink into the hot water, trying to catch their breaths.

“Oh Merlin,” Draco sighs as he wraps his arms around Harry and pulls him closer to his chest. He presses a kiss on his forehead. “I think I’m getting too old for this shit.”

Harry grunts. “Oh, shut it. That didn’t feel like ‘too old’ to me!”

Draco chuckles. “I liked this. You know. It was different.”

Harry blushes. “Yeah. I liked it too.”

“But it doesn’t have to be like this every time. I enjoyed the switch, but like-“

Draco doesn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he turns away from Harry.

Harry turns his head around and watches Draco surprised. The other boy is bright red. “What? Are you shy talking about bottoming?

Draco hides his face in Harry’s neck. “Shut up!”

“For real?” Harry asks and moves away from Draco. He doesn’t want to allow him to back away now. “And you said _I_ was uptight!”

Draco hides his face behind his hands now. Harry grabs them and pushes them away, laughing. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

The blonde man shakes his head. “Please, shut up!”

“Are you seriously uncomfortable talking about this? After everything we did so far?”

Draco shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t like to admit that I kinda have a submission kink.”

Harry smiles. “You can admit anything around me, you know? I’ll never judge you.”

Draco sighs. “I know. But still.”

Harry tilts his head. “Draco, we’ve fucked so many times now. It’s important that we trust each other enough to talk about the things we like. Or don’t like. I don’t ever want to do something you don’t enjoy.”

Draco shakes his head. “No. No, no. You’re doing great. It’s the opposite, I love what you do.”

Harry grins. “That’s good to know. But what can I do to make it even better?”

Draco huffs. There’s a deep blush on his pale face. “Um. I.. Urgh.”

“Draco. Come on.”

“Uff. Okay. I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to be dominant, you know? I envied you for having your shit together all the time. I envied you for being so fucking brave and strong. Hell, I even envied your outbursts of aggression. So dominant and powerful. And sexy. I always wanted everyone to believe that I’m like that, too. That I could be a little bit like you. But I’m really not.”

Harry begins to stroke Draco’s hair gently. He doesn’t really know what to say. It confuses the hell out of him, seeing Draco so vulnerable, and all he wants to do is kiss him, hug him, squeeze him, and make him feel better.

“Draco –“

“I guess I’m not the tough guy. I care about other people’s opinions. I worry about not looking good or not being popular. All I really want is to let go of all that. I want - I _need_ to be taken care of. I don’t know. That sounded really stupid.”

Harry shakes his head and shuffles closer, wrapping his arms around Draco’s shoulders. “No, it doesn’t. I get what you mean.”

Draco leans his head against Harry’s and smiles. “I’ve never really said that out loud. It makes me feel so dumb. But – I don’t know – I guess I’ve always struggled with wanting to be the tough, dominant guy and knowing that I’m the complete opposite.”

Harry presses a kiss to Draco’s forehead. “You don’t have to be anything but yourself. You have to be true to yourself and do whatever makes you feel good. And I’m here for whatever that might be. Okay?”

Draco smiles, and it looks so genuine and sweet. His eyes light up, and they shimmer, his dimples are showing, and his cheeks turn even pinker. Harry thinks he’s slowly becoming obsessed with seeing Draco happy at this point. He doesn’t want to think about that. He doesn’t want to think about how utterly fucked he really is.

“Fuck, you make me so happy, you have no idea,” Draco sighs and grabs Harry’s face with both of his hands. He presses his lips on top of Harry’s and kisses him fiercely. Harry feels like he’s falling, and it worries him just a little.

* * *

Halloween is right around the corner, and Harry feels a weird mix of happiness and sadness. The others have all decided to go home for a week. Being at Hogwarts during such a festive time simply doesn’t feel right just yet. It reminds them too much of the war. The teachers have agreed to give the eighth-year students a week off.

Harry is still unsure. He doesn’t know what to do. Hogwarts is his home, after all. And he doesn’t want to allow the war to take over his precious Halloween feast. He used to love Halloween at Hogwarts. But he also doesn’t want his friends to spend Halloween without him.

Naturally, he asks Draco what to do a week before everyone is supposed to leave, after they’ve just shagged their brains out.

“Are you going home for Halloween as well?”

Draco wipes a sweaty hair strand away from his face. “Probably. Theo, Blaise, and Pansy are all going home. I wouldn’t want to stay here all alone.”

Harry hums in agreement. For a split second, he considers asking Draco if he wants to stay with him at Hogwarts. Just the two of them. But then, he bites his tongue and swallows the question.

“Are you going home?”

“I haven’t decided yet. Since everyone is going home, I don’t really see why I should stay.”

Draco runs a hand over Harry’s chest. It’s such a soft movement, Harry feels shivers run down his spine.

He clears his throat. “It’ll be horrible not seeing you for an entire week.”

Harry catches the way Draco’s cheeks turn pink. “I thought about that too, actually.”

“You did?”, Harry asks softly and runs his hand through Draco’s soft hair. In the dark light of the room, his hair almost seems silver.

Draco nods. “Hm. I thought about staying here, just the two of us. But I already told Mother that I would be coming home. I guess it’s better that way anyway.”

Harry feels a shot of disappointment run through his body. He shouldn’t be feeling this way and he quickly tries to push down those feelings. He grabs Draco’s shoulders and squeezes him. “I will miss you.”

Draco presses a kiss to Harry’s hand. “I’ll miss you too, Harry. You have no idea how much I’ll miss you.”

* * *

Harry eventually decides to leave Hogwarts as well. Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Neville head to the Burrow on Friday evening.

Halloween is supposed to be on Sunday, but Harry isn’t in the mood to celebrate it this year.

“You know, there’s this fancy club in London. They arrange a huge Halloween party. I think we should go. Luna, Dean, and Seamus have already said they would go”, Hermione says. They’re now sitting in the living room, the fire in the chimney crackling softly after they put all of their luggage inside their rooms.

Harry shakes his head. “Nah. I don’t really know. I’m not in the mood.”

Ron sighs. “Harry, man. Since when are you such a bore? We could dress up, get drunk, and find you someone nice to shag.”

Harry bites his lip. He doesn’t want to confess to them that he _really_ doesn’t want to shag anybody else but Draco. He doesn’t even know when that happened. He already misses the other boy. Fuck, he’s so screwed. He tries very hard to push away any thoughts, but it’s getting harder every single day. Deep inside he knows he won’t be able to ignore his feelings for much longer. But for now, he’ll pretend that it all means nothing. Nothing at all. Yes. Absolutely, utterly nothing.

Ron licks his lips. Then, he slowly speaks. “You know, Hermione spoke to Pansy. And Pansy said that their gang might come with us.”

Harry’s head snaps up. “Pansy’s gang?”

“Yeah. You know. Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, _Draco Malfoy,_ …”

Harry clears his throat and returns to his book he’s pretending to read. “Oh. Really.”

“Mhm.” He doesn’t notice the curious glances and smirks his friends are exchanging. “You might reconsider tagging along.”

Harry bites his lip. “I don’t know. We’ll see.”

* * *

Harry doesn’t dare to ask the others if it’s actually certain that Draco will attend this Halloween party. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself. But if there’s even a tiny chance of seeing Draco again, he will take it. It’s pathetic. Harry forces himself not to think about it.

Therefore, on Sunday evening, he dresses up as a vampire. His costume looks absolutely ridiculous. He’s wearing black jeans, a black shirt, and a dark red cloak. He painted his face white and his lips red. Hermione helped him paint a few red dots on his chin. They’re supposed to resemble blood, but Harry doesn’t really see it. Luna, Dean, George, and Seamus eventually arrive at the burrow as well. Their costumes look so much better, but Harry doesn’t even care. All he wants is to see Draco. That’s the only reason why he’s coming with them in the first place.

Luna helps Harry style his hair. She slicks it back and holds it in place with a charm that Harry doesn’t even recognize.

Then, she hands him a glass filled with blue liquid. “Drink up.”

Harry watches it with curiosity. “Um. Do I want to know what this is?”

“No. Let’s just say it’s strong alcohol.”

Harry sighs. Then, he throws back the entire thing. It burns in his throat and makes him cough. “Merlin. That is _very_ strong!”

Luna giggles. “I know. It’s my favorite drink.”

After having another round of shots, they all apparate to London, but Harry doesn’t share his friends’ excitement. He feels his nerves build up inside of him. He desperately wants to see Malfoy, but he also doesn’t know what will happen, if Draco actually happens to be at the club. Will they make out? Or go even further? He doubts that Draco casually will carry two bottles of Armortentia with him. Maybe Draco will say “Hello Harry, nice to see you!” and turn around and dance with another bloke. They’re not dating. They’re not a thing. They haven't really spent any time together without the love potion clouding their brains. What if Draco is annoyed to see Harry at the club and snarls at him? Draco could totally do that because –

“Harry, are you even listening? I said we’re going inside now!”, Ron shouts and grabs Harry’s arm. Harry shakes his head in confusion and follows Ron.

The streets are already crowded. There are so many people surrounding them, many of them are muggles. The atmosphere is electric, the smell of alcohol, smoke, and sweat is hanging in the air. Harry grabs Dean’s arm because he doesn’t want to lose his friends in the crowd.

Eventually, after half an hour of waiting and drinking the rest of their alcohol, they get inside the club. The music is loud, it’s dark, and there are people everywhere. If Harry would be sober, he would absolutely hate this. Thankfully, he’s already feeling the alcohol clouding his brain. His muscles feel much more relaxed than usual, his brain is foggy, and he feels more carefree.

He stretches his neck and searches around the club for blonde, silver hair, but he can’t find him anywhere.

“Let’s head to the bar!”, Ron shouts into his ear and Harry nods.

“Sure, okay.”

They all order another round of drinks. Hermione, Luna, Dean, and Neville head to the dancefloor, ready to party. But Harry and Ron stay behind. He doesn’t feel like dancing. He wants to find Draco.

He doesn’t dare to ask Ron whether he knows something. He continues to sip his drink.

“He’s here”, Ron finally says. “Pansy told Hermione they would come.”

Harry’s head snaps around. What the - “Oh. Okay. I don’t care.”

“Mhm. I just wanted to let you know.”

He ignores Ron’s knowing stare. How did Ron figure Harry out this quickly? Harry hasn’t even figured it out for himself. He's got no clue what's going on with him. He continues to stare at the dance floor, desperately trying to find Draco. Now that he knows for sure that he’s here Harry scams the entire dancefloor. But it’s too dark and the people move too fast. There’s no way he could make out anyone in this light.

Harry runs his hand through his slick hair and jumps in surprise when he feels hands around his waist all of a sudden.

“Hello, stranger.”

Harry doesn’t recognize that voice. He turns around with a frown and stares back into black eyes. The guy is handsome, no doubt. Tall, black hair, dark eyes, and a stubble. His jaw is sharp, his skin looks smooth, and he has a broad back. Harry forces himself to smile.

“Um, Hi.”, he says.

“What are you doing here, all by yourself?”

Harry shakes his head and points to Ron, who waves awkwardly. “Oh, I’m not alone. I’m here with my friend.” 

The stranger nods. “Ah. What a shame. I thought I could get you alone.”

“No, sorry. I’m busy tonight.”

“I’m Lucas, by the way.” The stranger holds out his hand.

“Harry.” He takes his hand and shakes it. This feels awkward. Especially with Ron standing next to them.

“Can I give you my number? Maybe we can stay in touch and meet up sometime.”

Harry considers this for a moment. But then he agrees. He might never actually meet up with him, but accepting his number sounds fair enough.

He gives Lucas his phone and lets him type in his number. Then, Lucas surges forward and presses a kiss to Harry’s cheek. Harry’s eyes open in surprise. They exchange one last smile and say goodbye. Easy enough.

“That was awkward”, Harry mumbles as he turns around to face Ron again.

“Harry, mate”, Ron says. “I think I’ve found Malfoy.”

Harry follows Ron’s eyes and his stomach drops the moment he sees Draco. He knows it’s him. The silver hair and the long, petite body give him away. Also, the way Draco holds somebody else’s waist and snogs this handsome man seems too familiar. That's how Draco used to snog him.

Ron’s hand squeezes his shoulder. “I’m sorry, man. I think he just saw you flirting with that bloke.”

“I-“, Harry begins but stops himself. Why on earth is he upset? They’re not in a relationship. They’re not officially dating. They’re not even friends. Not really. Draco can snog whoever the hell he wants. Harry has no right to be upset. Logically speaking, Harry totally knows and understands that. But his heart tells him other things. His heart is upset and sad and angry and fuck - The way he’s feeling is absolutely ridiculous. Why is he feeling as if a truck just hit him with full force?

Fuck this. Fuck Draco, fuck feelings and screw this stupid agreement that they have. Fuck thinking, fuck falling, fuck being horny. Fuck.

Harry turns around and walks straight up to Lucas, who is standing next to his friends only a couple of tables away. If Draco can make out with somebody else, so can Harry. He stops right in front of Lucas, who smiles down at him in surprise.

Then, Harry surges forward and presses his lips on top of the other man’s lips. Lucas gasps in surprise but seems to recover quickly. He grabs Harry’s face with both his hands and begins to kiss him passionately.

It doesn’t feel good. Harry hates it. Lucas’ stubbles itch Harry’s face, his hair doesn’t feel as soft as Draco’s, he’s too bulky, and his hands are too thick. Harry pulls away. He forces a smile and lies: “You’re cute.”

Then, he turns around and almost runs away, straight towards the terrace. Maybe he can borrow a cigarette from someone. The moment he steps outside, he feels less like throwing up. Merlin, that was a horrible idea. Why did he do that? He takes a couple of breaths and tries to calm his spinning head. He already feels a little calmer. God, he shouldn’t have drunk this much. The alcohol really hits him now and he sees everything in a blur. He wipes his mouth and actually feels sick to his stomach. He shouldn’t have kissed this Lucas guy. It was a stupid reaction. He felt so jealous and hurt seeing Draco kiss somebody else, even though he has no right to feel that way. Draco didn’t do anything wrong. Harry knows that. But still.

Harry is officially fucked. When did it get so serious for him? When did he start to actually feel something for Draco? Harry can’t even say what it is. But he hates it. He feels miserable, lonely, and stupid. And he definitely doesn’t want to think about any of it right now.

“Seems like you’re having lots of fun.”

Harry doesn’t need to lookup. He knows who it is. The raven-haired man squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. He doesn’t answer. He wishes Draco would disappear again.

“Why didn’t you stay with that guy? He was handsome. Could’ve had much fun with him.”

Harry swallows and takes a deep breath. His head is spinning. For some strange reason, he feels his eyes prickle with tears. “I hated kissing him.”

He still doesn’t look at Draco. The other man steps closer to him but keeps enough distance. Harry can smell the alcohol surrounding Draco from here. The man must be as drunk as him, maybe he’s even drunker.

“I hated watching you kiss him.”

Harry feels anger bubbling up inside of him. He turns around and finally looks up at Draco. He ignores the way his makeup enhances his grey eyes. Draco looks absolutely beautiful. Fuck. “That’s funny, considering _you_ snogged the hell out of that stranger! How did you even see me kissing him when you were busy making out with somebody else?!”

Draco seems taken aback. Then, he shouts. “You flirted with that guy first. You didn’t even care that I was waving at you!”

Harry frowns. “ _What?_ I was searching the entire club for you!”

“I was waving at you! For five minutes, straight. I looked absolutely ridiculous. And you stared right at me and turned around and flirted with that guy!”

“The moment I turned away from that guy, Ron pointed at you. And you were already kissing somebody else!”, Harry shouts back at him. He’s glad that the music is so loud that the people standing around them can’t hear their shouts.

“Only because you were flirting with him! And I was right, three minutes later you walked up to him and kissed him!”

Harry’s head spins. The alcohol stops him from thinking straight. “Why would you kiss someone just because some random guy asked for my number?”

“Your what?”

“My number!”

“What is that?”

“Urgh. It’s a muggle thing. Doesn’t matter right now. Why would you kiss someone just because some random guy started flirting with me? I didn’t even care about him, I was looking for you!”

“You didn’t seem like you were looking for me. You only had eyes for him!”

“Draco, I’m telling you. I didn’t care about him. I was looking for you. Fuck, the only reason why I’m here is the fact that Ron told me you would be here. Otherwise, I would’ve stayed at home.”

Draco looks taken aback. “Really?”

Harry sighs. He shouldn’t say anything else. He should shut his stupid mouth. He will absolutely regret this once he’s sober. “Yes. Really. I don’t care about anybody else.”

“I’m also here because I was hoping to see you”, Draco admits shyly.

Harry’s head snaps up. “Really?”

“Mhm. Really.” Draco mumbles. He stares at his shoes. “I also don’t care about anybody else. And I also hated kissing that guy. It was awful.” He watches Draco mesmerized. There’s a tiny voice inside his head, screaming not to step any closer. He will ruin everything between them.

But then, Draco looks up and the way he stares right back at Harry takes his breath away. His grey eyes sparkle in the dim light of the club, his lips seem plush and glossy, his cheeks are rosy pink and his hair is a mess. Harry has never seen anyone more beautiful than Draco. He shouldn’t do it. But the moment Draco licks his lips, that’s when Harry surges forward. He grabs Draco’s waist and pushes him against the wall, presses his lips on top of his and begins to kiss him passionately.

Draco immediately follows his lead. The way Draco moans into the kiss is mesmerizing. He kisses him back just as passionately. After making out for what feels like hours, they pull apart.

“Bathroom!”, Harry orders.

Together, they rush towards the bathroom, both clearly not thinking straight. After two hours of drinking his mind has left any ability to form any reasonable thought.

They rush through the club, they open the bathroom door and lock it. 

Draco doesn’t say anything. He’s breathing heavily. So is Harry.

“Draco, what the hell are we doing?”

Draco leans against the door and takes a few deep breaths. Harry’s head is spinning. He can’t think clearly anymore; the alcohol is running through his veins.

Then, it all happens quickly. Draco moves forward, grabs Harry’s face with both his hands and presses his lips on top of his. Harry gasps for air. He feels taken back by Draco’s sudden action.

“Fuck, I _hated_ watching you with that guy,” Draco mumbles against Harry’s lips as he begins to kiss him passionately. “It drove me insane. I wanted to grab you, kiss you, make him understand that you’re not his.”

Harry’s brain logs off. Any chance of thinking clearly is now over. His dick reacts to Draco’s body. He feels hot all over. His hands find Draco’s stomach, and he pulls his shirt up to touch Draco’s incredibly soft skin.

“Wasn’t interested in him at all,” Harry replies.

“Liar,” Draco hisses as he bites into Harry’s bottom lip. Harry sees stars.

“I swear!”

Draco lowers his head and begins to suck Harry’s sensitive skin. Harry’s moaning loudly at this point.

“I wanted to touch you the second we left Hogwarts”, Harry admits. He knows he’ll regret this once he’s sober, but he can’t stop now.

“Less talking, more kissing,” Draco replies and immediately presses his lips back on top of Harry’s. They begin to kiss passionately, both moving against each other, longing for friction.

Harry lowers his hands and begins to unbutton Draco’s belt and jeans. He pushes them down as far as possible. Draco helps him with his own jeans.

“Fuck, you have no idea how hot you look tonight,” Draco moans as he reaches for Harry’s cock. Harry feels close to passing out the moment Draco’s hand touches his aching dick. Harry reaches for Draco’s cock and begins to stroke him. They moan into each other’s mouth.

“Oh God,” Harry moans. “Fuck, I missed this so much. Merlin.”

“You have no idea,” Draco groans. “how often I touch myself thinking of you.”

This makes Harry moan even more. His dick is already so hard. He knows he’s not going to last much longer. “Fuck, Draco. I’m close.”

Draco nods. He bites Harry’s lip and pulls him even closer. “You make me lose my mind, Harry.” They stroke each other in the same rhythm; their dicks are sliding against each other every so often. Harry is close to passing out.

Draco comes first, his cum spreading all over Harry’s dick and hand. With the new sensation, it doesn’t even take a second for Harry to come himself, with Draco’s name on his lips.

They stay like this for a while, both heavily breathing and panting, trying to come down from their high. Then, the boys both start to giggle.

“Wow,” Draco says between fits of giggles. “I feel so dirty. I can’t believe we did this at a dirty toilet in a club. That isn’t my style at all.”

Harry joins him. He laughs out loud. “Same.”

They cast a cleaning spell and eventually get dressed. Draco’s and Harry’s hair is a mess, their cheeks are rosy, and they look way too happy. All of their friends will know what they did, but they don’t care.

And when they finally return to their friends, they’re already drunk and dancing to a remix of Travis Scott, not really caring about Draco and Harry.

* * *

The next few days at the Burrow sucks. Not because he doesn’t enjoy spending time with his best friends and family.

Everyone’s here: Molly, Arthur, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Charlie, Bill, Percy, George, Fleur. It’s wild at the Burrow, and he loves it.

But he also notices one thing: He fucking _misses_ Draco Malfoy. The realization hits him like a truck.

When did that happen? When did he get so fond of Malfoy, Draco fucking Malfoy out of all people, to a point where he starts to miss him after a few days? It’s getting more and more real for Harry every single day. He’s beginning to realize that he can’t blame Armortentia forever. Eventually, he’ll have to admit that he’s growing very fond of Draco. Eventually, he’ll have to start thinking about what this all means. He probably should’ve done that way sooner.

And after hooking up at that club, Harry can’t help but think: What if? What if Draco feels the same way? What if Harry and Draco actually have a chance? What if this isn’t just sex and love potions and no strings attached?

Harry is screwed. He really is. And he’s also finally ready to talk about all of this. He’s at a point where he desperately needs his friends’ advice.

And since Ron and Hermione are busy snogging, he knocks at Neville’s door.

“Nev?”

“Wait a sec,” Neville shouts. He hears some clattering, and then, Neville opens the door. His face is red and covered in mud.

“Um,” Harry exclaims. “Are you okay?”

Neville nods. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. Come in, come in.”

Neville and Harry enter the small room. “Don’t tell Molly. But I brought my favorite new plant to the Burrow. The Hexophelitantrum. But she’s being a tiny bit … bitchy.”

Harry raises his eyebrow. “What?”

Neville sighs. “She’s a big diva. This girl needs so much attention. But I don’t have the time to give her what she needs. That’s why she’s behaving like a bitch. Please don’t tell Molly. She’s going to kill me.”

Harry grins. “Okay. I won’t tell, I promise.”

Neville sits on the chair in front of the little desk and pulls back the blanket that was covering a big, bright yellow plant. Then, he begins to gently stroke her and whispers sweet things to her.

Harry sits down on the bed. He frowns at the scenario in front of him but decides not to say anything. After all, Neville always accepted him for his bullshit. He’s not going to give Neville shit for stroking and flirting with a plant.

“How can I help you?”

Harry sighs. “Um. I have a problem.”

Neville looks at Harry with hopeful eyes. “Oh. Are you finally going to talk about that mysterious boy? We’ve all been dying for you to finally open up!”

Harry groans. “I know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready to talk about it.”

Neville nods. “Yeah, we all know that. That’s why we didn’t ask. We didn’t want to pressure you.”

Harry smiles. “Thanks. Anyway.”

Neville listens closely.

“It all started off with an incredibly stupid idea. Um. We basically hooked up. But we weren’t sober at the time.”

Neville raises an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“And then it kept happening. But we were always intoxicated when it happened. We kind of made this agreement that we would have sex to relieve some pressure.”

“So, like a ‘friends with benefits’ kind of thing?”

Harry nods. “Yeah, I guess. But we’re not friends. Like, not at all.”

Neville frowns. “Okay…”

“We never actually hung out. We always met up just for sex. And then, we were always … intoxicated.”

“Harry, are you struggling with a drug addiction?” Neville asks, his eyes wide open. He genuinely seems shocked.

Harry huffs. “No! God, no. I promise you. It’s not drugs. I would tell you, I promise.”

Neville nods, but he doesn’t seem convinced.

“Anyway,” Harry continues. “I’m starting to really like him. But I don’t even know him that well. I’ve never actually spent time with him while we were sober. And I also know that he doesn’t like me that way. He literally told me ‘no strings attached.’ He doesn’t even find me attractive.”

Neville grunts. “That is a big, fat lie. Everyone finds you attractive. Even straight guys would fuck you.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “He’s not everyone. I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t even like me if it weren’t for the … um … - the _drugs_ , I guess?”

Neville raises an eyebrow, clearly judging him. 

“Anyway. That’s what makes him so special. He treats me like a normal person for once. He sees my flaws. And he understands me.”

Neville tilts his head. “Well, that doesn’t sound like ‘not knowing each other well’. It seems as if you guys spent a lot of time with each other.”

“Yes, but we weren’t ourselves then.”

“Why don’t you ask him out on a date? Just the two of you, no drugs, no sex. And then you can get to know the real him.”

“It’s not drugs, but anyway. The guy is not into that. He’s not the type of person to go on dates.”

Neville raises his eyebrow. “So, you only ever hung out to have sex?”

Harry nods.

“Still. He wouldn’t have spent all of this time with you if he found you annoying and ugly. He obviously cares about you. And who knows, maybe he feels even worse than you do because he thinks you’re not interested in him!”

Harry wishes he could just tell Neville about the Armortentia. That’s the only reason why Draco even started enjoying the time spent with Harry. But Neville would probably send him to a mental hospital right away for agreeing to something so stupid and dangerous.

Harry sighs. “I just really miss him, Nev. I didn’t think I would actually miss him. I didn’t even realize I was in it so deeply. I just pushed it all away, I didn’t want to think about any of it. And now it comes crashing down on me.”

“Harry,” Neville sighs and turns to face him. “You’re the most deluded person I know. We noticed how deep you were in it the first time you met him months ago. You were literally a different kind of happy the next morning after we all went to the Leaky Caldron and left you alone.”

Harry’s eyes shoot open. “What? Y’all noticed since then?!”

Neville rolls his eyes. “Wow, the Boy Who Lived really can be stupid, huh?”

“But _I_ didn’t even notice it. How did you notice?!”

“Because it was freaking obvious. You started eating more. And you started laughing more. Harry, you started to care more! Also, you became all bubbly and excited. I think he’s perfect for you.”

Harry sighs. Neville probably wouldn’t say that if he knew the whole story.

“I know what you’re thinking: Neville doesn’t know the whole story. It’s complicated. Blablabla. But honestly, both of you seem so much happier ever since you started hooking up, I think you – “

Harry’s head snaps up. “Both of you?”

Neville seems caught. He clears his throat.

“Did you just say ‘Both of you’?”

“Ah, shit. I promised to wait until you were ready to tell us the whole story.”

“What do you mean? Neville?”

Neville makes a grimace and hides behind his shovel.

“Neville!”

_“_ We all know that the mysterious boy is Draco,” he rushes to say.

Harry’s jaw drops. “ _What_? I thought only Ron knew? How? Since when?”

“We were all guessing it was Draco because you both changed your behavior around the same time. We’re friends with Blaise and Pansy now, you know? And they noticed Draco changing too. He seemed happier and more relaxed.”

Harry holds his breath and waits for Neville to continue. The other boy sighs.

“We didn’t know for sure. But it became more and more obvious. You guys always met up with some mysterious date at the same time. You started watching him from afar. He started blushing every time he caught you staring. He would drool over you at Quidditch games and cheer you on, even though he hates Quidditch ever since the war ended. He never watches any game unless you play. You would always look for him in the crowd, you probably didn’t do it on purpose, but you did. Then, Halloween happened. I don’t need to explain Halloween any further, do I? After Halloween, we knew for sure.”

Harry is speechless. He can’t believe that Neville would notice all of these things.

“Wait. Halloween. Were we really that obvious?”

Neville stares at Harry in disbelief. “Harry, what the hell?”

Harry looks at him in confusion.

“The only reason you came along was Draco. The moment you stepped into the club, all you cared about was Draco. You almost burst out into tears when you saw him kissing somebody else and he nearly lost his shit when he saw you kissing that random dude.”

Harry shakes his head. “Yeah, I still don’t get what happened that night. It’s all a blur to me. Draco’s behavior didn’t make any sense.”

“He behaved like that because you were flirting with that guy, Harry. Do I need to spell it out for you?”

“I wasn’t flirting with – Merlin. I told Draco I wasn’t flirting with that guy.”

“Blaise and Pansy said they were watching you flirt hardcore with him. That’s what made Draco really angry and sad. He was upset and _jealous_ and hurt!”

Harry shakes his head. That can’t be true! Neville must’ve gotten something twisted. “I – Draco isn’t the kind of guy to get jealous. He definitely wasn’t – that can’t be. He isn’t into me. Not like that.”

“Merlin, Harry. Draco actually likes you. Anyone could see that. Of course, he was jealous!”

Harry feels exhausted all of a sudden. This whole conversation blew his mind, and he feels absolutely lost.

Harry sighs and decides to switch the topic for now. “Anyway. I didn’t want to hide anything from you. I just genuinely didn’t notice it myself”, Harry eventually admits.

Neville nods. “Yeah. We figured that out too. You both seemed to be very delusional with each other. I mean, the fact that you still think that Draco doesn’t like you back is insane to me. That boy would literally marry you on the spot if you asked him.”

Harry shakes his head. “No, he wouldn’t. It’s not like that.”

“Draco has liked you for _months_ now, Harry. He has literal heart eyes every time he looks at you!"

Harry frowns. “What?”

Neville slams his hand against the table. “Merlin. Harry, please talk to him for god’s sake. Sober. And tell him everything. And force him to be honest with you. I can’t believe how dumb both of you are.”

Harry’s head spins. He watches Neville get up and leave the bedroom to use the restroom. But his thoughts are still racing through his mind.

* * *

Once they’re all back at Hogwarts, things are different. Harry doesn’t know why things have changed, but it’s weird now. Draco and Harry don’t meet up on Friday nights anymore. They actually stop talking completely and Harry has no idea why.

Every time Harry catches a glimpse of Draco, the other man seems to be busy. He starts to walk the other way, or he begins chatting with his friends.

Harry feels exhausted. He can’t help but think that he’s ruined their relationship. They were getting along so well, but ever since they hooked up in that club, the whole vibe between them is different. The incident at the club happened without any Armortentia. They were drunk, sure. But Harry _knew_ what he was doing. He wanted to kiss Draco. He wanted to fuck him in that dirty bathroom. He wanted to tell him that he _lov_ – No. He’s not going there! He can’t allow himself to go in that direction.

Everything he felt in that club was completely Harry, not some weird love potion. And Harry can’t help but wonder whether Draco felt the same.

He isn’t brave enough to ask him though. Something about Draco makes him lose his confidence. November passes so quickly, Harry doesn’t even know if the four weeks really happened in the first place. They’re all so busy studying, they don’t have one spare second for themselves. All Harry does is study, eat, train Quidditch, and sleep.

And even though he misses Draco terribly, he’s also not brave enough to look for him and talk to him. He’s scared of finding something he doesn’t want to find. He doesn’t want to be rejected. And he doesn’t want to ruin things between them even further.

When it’s finally December, they get their last assignments for the month. Harry sits in Potions, but he doesn’t really listen to the Professor. He wants this month to be over with as soon as possible. He wants to go home for Christmas already.

Suddenly, Ron nudges his side. “Harry. We’re supposed to partner up. Hermione and I already decided to work together.”

Harry looks up and feels as if someone had woken him up. “Huh?”

He looks around. Everyone seems to be teamed up already. Neville is working with Luna, Dean is working with Seamus. He sighs. Merlin. He hates teamwork.

“I suppose Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy are the last two without a partner. Alright, then. Since everyone is partnered up now, please sit with your partner and listen closely to the assignment.”

Harry stares at Ron in horror. Ron tilts his head in fake sympathy. “ _Oh no_. I’m sorry, mate. It seems like you actually have to stop being a dick and talk to Draco like a normal, mature grown-up man. That must be so bad.”

Harry glares at his best friend. “Fuck you, Ron.”

Harry sighs and eventually gets up. He walks towards Draco and falls into the seat next to him. “Hey.”

Draco huffs and runs a hand through his hair. He seems very tired. There are dark shadows under his eyes and he looks a bit slimmer than usual. Harry's heart clenches. “Hi.”

“Haven’t talked in a long time, huh?”

Draco nods. “Yeah. It’s been pretty stressful, right?”

Harry nods. God, he wants to hug Draco. He wants to be close to him. But he stops himself. He doesn’t know what to say and it makes him feel incredibly sad.

Instead of talking, they listen to their assignment. Draco takes notes and Harry is thankful for it because he doesn’t really listen at all.

“Deadline will be on the nineteenth of December.”

Harry sighs. That means they’ll be working on this assignment for three weeks.

When the lesson is over, everyone jumps up, grabs their bags, and rushes out of the classroom. But Harry and Draco both linger on.

They slowly grab their belongings and walk outside together. It’s cold. There’s a thick layer of snow covering the grounds of Hogwarts and some students are outside, throwing snowballs at each other. Harry can’t bring himself to feel excited. He feels the heavyweight between him and Draco.

“Um”, Draco begins. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

Harry nods in relief. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

They both walk towards the Great Lake, both keeping their distance.

“I missed hanging out with you”, Harry admits. 

Draco hums in agreement. “Yeah. Me too.”

“I’m sorry for what happened at the club. If I had known that we would stop talking for a month afterward, I never would’ve let that happen.”

Draco avoids looking at him. “Do you regret it?””

“ _No._ Yes. I don’t know. I enjoyed it. I actually loved it. It was really good. But I regret it because we didn’t talk at all afterward. But why did we just stop talking for an entire month?”

“I don’t know”, Draco admits. “I didn’t want to owl you first. I wanted to give you some space. Figure everything out.”

“Figure out what?”

“Us. Where we’re standing. I mean, we obviously don’t need a love potion to fuck anymore. That incident at the club proofed it. And I don’t really know what that means.”

Harry gulps. Draco is right. He’s actually saying out loud what Harry has been thinking. “Yeah. That’s true. But I had felt that the lines were starting to blur way before that anyway. And we already agreed that we don’t find each other ugly. So, it didn’t really take me by surprise.”

Draco frowns. “The lines were starting to blur?”

Harry shrugs. He tries to explain it without giving away too much. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling, and he doesn’t want Draco to think that he’s falling in love with him or that he wants to be in a relationship with him. Which is totally not the case. No, not at all. “I don’t know. I mean, we had already crossed the line. We already fucked countless times to a point where it almost became a habit. I figured a while ago that I didn’t really need a potion for sex anymore anyway.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Harry sighs. “I don’t really know. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t want to destroy what we had.”

“Huh”, Draco answers and frowns. “Hm. So, you’re saying that you _do_ find me attractive now?”

Harry bites his lip. Ah, fuck it. “I find you physically attractive, yes. I always thought you were good looking, to be completely honest.”

Draco blushes, as he tilts his head. “Just physically?”

“I do care about you, Draco. I –“, Harry doesn’t want to give away too much. He sighs. “I like hanging out with you. I like talking to you. I’d like to think we’re actually friends now.”

Draco smiles softly. “Yeah. We’re friends.”

“But we never really hung out without the love potion. So, do we really know each other? Urgh, I don’t know. This is all so complicated.”

Draco bites his lip. “Maybe we should stop with the Amortentia once and for all. It had to end eventually, anyway.”

Harry feels a shot of disappointment. But he nods. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. Besides, we don’t really need it anymore, anyway.”

They stay quiet for a while and sit down on a bench eventually.

Harry licks his lips. “But where does that leave us?”

Draco sighs. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out over the past month. I had hoped you would have an answer.”

Harry shakes his head feeling exhausted all of a sudden. “I definitely don’t want to go back to how things were _before_ the Amortentia. I hated not talking to you over the past few weeks. We can’t go back to not talking.”

Draco smiles softly. He seems much more relaxed now. “Yes, I agree.”

Harry smiles relieved. This is actually going much better than he had thought.

“Maybe we should start being friends for now. Like, actually hang out and do things together, you know? We never actually got to know each other”, Harry suggests.

“No love potions, no alcohol, no touching, no kissing, no sex”, Draco replies, watching Harry with curiosity.

“Just Friends”, Harry states.

Draco nods. He holds out his hand for Harry to shake. “Deal.”

Harry smiles. “Deal.”

* * *

When Harry tells Hermione, Ron, and Neville about their deal later that night, they don’t seem convinced.

“So, you two really want to be friends now? No kissing, no sex, nothing? After shagging your brains out for the past three months?”, Ron asks.

Harry nods. “Yes. We never got to hang out. But we both want to. We want to put the past behind us and work on a normal, healthy relationship. Just friends being friends.”

Neville tilts his head. “Sounds like a nice plan, Harry. I’m not sure it’ll work, but yeah.”

“I don’t really understand you two”, Ron sighs. “You fuck for months, then you stop talking all of a sudden. And now you want to be just friends? Why don’t you fucking confess your feelings and finally get into a relationship?!”

Harry sighs. “I told you it never was about feelings. We were just having sex. And now that we agreed to stop, we’re trying to be friends.”

“But why would you stop?”, Ron almost shouts frustrated. “I don’t get it. You were both so happy. Why don’t you just date?”

Harry doesn’t really know what to say. “Because … - Because he doesn’t really like me like that. And …- uh ..- we’re trying to be friends for now? I don’t know, okay? We both agreed on it. And now we’re doing it!”

“Harry, for fuck’s sake, Draco is obsessed with you! And you’re obsessed with him, how can you be this freaking daft, I don-“

Ron wants to continue arguing with him, but Hermione grabs Ron’s arm and stops him. “I think it’s a good idea, Harry. Get to know each other. Build a friendship. The rest will fall into place.”

Harry feels confident about their plan. The Armortentia agreement had to stop eventually. And Harry is glad that they found a healthy, mature way to handle the situation.

The group of friends chats for a while, talking about Christmas and Christmas presents, self-made cookies, and Christmas markets. Harry feels peaceful.

* * *

“Hey”, Draco smiles as he steps into the library. “Ready to work on our assignment?”

Harry shakes his head. “No. There are a million things I’d rather do.”

Draco grins and sits down next to him. “Don’t worry, it’ll be brilliant. You know, I’m really good at potions.”

Harry barks out a laugh. “Matter of fact, I do know. I was able to have a sip of one of your potions once or twice.”

Draco winks at him. He _winks_ at him! And Harry’s heart rate speeds up. Fuck. He quickly grabs one of his textbooks and opens it at a random page. “What page was I supposed to read again?”

Draco smiles softly. “Page 271.”

“Okay”, Harry tries to distract himself. Don’t look at him! Do not look at him! “Let me just do that real quick.”

They both study for over an hour and Draco was right. It actually isn’t as bad as Harry had thought. And since Christmas break is already in two weeks, Harry feels much more motivated now.

“Okay, I’m done for today”, Harry sighs. “Can we please do something fun now?”

Draco tilts his head. “Like what?”

Harry thinks for a moment. Then, he grins. “Follow me.”

They grab their stuff and hide it under a staircase. Then, Harry guides Draco towards the kitchens.

“Harry, what the hell –“

“Psst”, Harry shushes him.

Draco keeps quiet and follows him.

Harry pushes the doors open and heads inside. He’s immediately being greeted by fifty house elves, all shouting “Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter!”

Harry barks out a laugh and greets them all. “This is my friend, Draco Malfoy.”

The house-elves bow in front of him. They all repeat “Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Malfoy!”

Draco squirms uncomfortably, but he smiles nevertheless. He greets all of them with a wave.

Harry turns around. “Draco, what is your favorite cake?”

“Um”, Draco says. He thinks for a moment. “Probably lemon cake?”

Harry grins. “Could you please prepare Mr. Malfoy a lemon cake?”

“Of course, Mr. Potter. We absolutely love to. It is an honor, Sir.”

“Please don’t call me Sir”, Harry cringes.

He grabs Draco’s elbow and guides him to the corner of the kitchen. They both sit down on small stools and watch the elves work their magic.

Draco’s eyes light up with admiration. “Wow, this is so cool. I’ve never been down here before.”

Harry smiles. He watches Draco from the side and feels his chest tightening. “It’s magical, isn’t it? It’s always so busy down here. The house-elves love cooking. Every time I come down here with an extra wish, they get all excited and bubbly.”

Draco smiles. “That’s really sweet.”

Harry tilts his head. He really wants to squeeze Draco’s hand and give him a quick kiss. Nothing sexual, just a quick affectionate kiss. He clenches his jaw and forms his hands into fists, trying hard to keep himself from touching Draco. Just friends, he reminds himself.

When the house-elves are finished, they place the most beautiful cake in front of Harry and Draco. Harry laughs at Draco’s expression.

“You look like a child on Christmas Eve.”

“I love lemon cake, but I’ve never really had one for myself. Mother is a horrible cook and she’s even worse at baking. She lets our house-elves do all the work. I cringe every time, trust me. I wish she didn’t need to rely on them so much.”

Harry listens to Draco attentively.

“I always wanted one for my birthday. But I only ever ate lemon cake here at Hogwarts as a dessert.”

Harry tilts his head. “That’s really sad, I’m sorry.”

Draco shakes his head. “No, no. Don’t be. I’m just really excited right now.”

Harry smiles and watches Draco cutting the cake. He takes a huge slice and stuffs it into his mouth. Harry barks out a loud laugh. “Wow. That is a new sight. Draco Malfoy, stuffing his face with cake.”

Draco grins. His cheeks turn pink. “Couldn’t help myself.”

Harry also takes a slice and begins to eat.

“What is your favorite cake?”

“I love any cake”, Harry admits. “I really don’t have a favorite. I like cheesecake, chocolate cake, strawberry cheesecake, lemon cake, marble cake. I’ll take anything.”

Draco chuckles. “How do you manage to look like that then?”

Harry watches him curiously. “Like what?”

Draco blushes. “Like a professional athlete.”

“Hey!”, Harry pouts. “I am a professional athlete.”

Draco giggles. “No, Harry. You’re really not. I know you’d like to be, but you really aren’t.”

Harry sighs. “Okay, okay. I guess you’re right. But I can always pretend, can I?”

Draco tilts his head and watches him through unreadable, sad grey eyes. Harry’s heart begins to flutter. Then, Draco finally answers “Yeah, you can always pretend.”

* * *

Being just friends with Draco turns out to be so much harder than Harry originally had thought. Sure, Harry had noticed before that he felt strangely attracted to Draco. He had noticed weird feelings beginning to develop.

But now that he isn’t officially allowed to reach out and touch Draco whenever they spend time together, Harry painfully notices how often he feels the desire to kiss him, hug him, hold his hand, stroke his hair, or caress his arms.

When Harry and Draco sitting in the library, both studying or doing homework, they sit so close, Harry would only have to move an inch or two and their arms would be touching. He bites his tongue and stops himself from shifting closer to Draco.

When they go to Hogsmeade together to get some butterbeer and to buy some bits and pieces, they walk next to each other, and Harry would only have to lift his hand a little for their hands to touch. He clenches his hand into a fist to stop himself from reaching out.

When Draco shows him how to do Yoga for the first time, Harry can’t help himself but stare at Draco’s incredible arse. He really hopes that Draco doesn’t notice Harry staring like a creep. He tries his best to focus and tries to follow Draco’s instructions, but it’s really difficult with Draco looking like that in yoga pants.

When they sit in the Room of Requirement, talking or reading or listening to music together, Harry purposefully doesn’t sit next to Draco. Instead, he sits down on the other sofa. Harry wouldn’t be able to stop himself from cuddling into Draco’s side if they actually sat next to each other.

It’s getting difficult. And Harry can no longer bullshit himself. Who is he even trying to fool here? He’s right in the middle of falling in love with Draco Malfoy. Completely sober, completely conscious. No love potions involved. Being “friends” with Draco only made him realize how much he doesn’t want to be friends with him. He wants to be with Draco. He wants everything with Draco. The sex, the kissing, the cuddling, then falling asleep next to each other, the hanging out, the jokes, the conversations, the long walks around the Great Lake, the yoga sessions, the study sessions, the stuffing their faces with cake, Draco.

He wants Draco, and he realizes he’s utterly fucked. Because now he could once again destroy everything between them. It was his idea to brew Armortentia and shag. That already messed things up between them. It was also his idea to kiss Draco in a club whilst being completely drunk. It was also his idea to stop shagging and just be friends. He really couldn’t bring in another idea into this, now that it actually works just fine between them. He can’t confess his feelings and suggest trying out a relationship now.

Harry sits on the floor, next to the huge chimney in the Room of Requirement, and warms his feet. He watches Draco, who’s been reading a book for the past forty minutes.

“What exactly are you reading?”, Harry asks. He can read the title himself, but he wants to talk to Draco.

“I want to know more about Muggles”, Draco hums. “And I asked Hermione what kind of books they are reading. She said there are many genres, but she loves this classic book called ‘A Christmas Carol’ by Charles Dickens. So, I’m reading that.”

Harry tilts his head. “I’m not sure if it’s possible to catch up with Muggles if you never really lived with them. Muggle society is actually pretty creative and also complicated.”

Draco shrugs. “I want to try. I never really made an effort to learn anything about them. I always did what my father told me. I copied his opinions, beliefs, and attitude towards muggles. I want to educate myself and have my own opinions, you know?”

Harry nods and smiles. “Yes, I do. That’s actually wonderful, Draco.”

Draco smiles.

“So, do you like it?”, Harry points with his chin in the direction of the book.

“Yeah. It’s lovely so far. But speaking of Christmas. You know what?”, Draco says as he sips on his glass of wine and turns another page of his book.

“Hm?” Harry hums, looking up.

“I’m actually not looking forward to Christmas at all.”

“Why’s that?”

Draco sighs. He stares at his glass of wine. “Mother wants to visit relatives in France. She doesn’t want to spend Christmas in our little apartment.”

“When will you move again?”

“The house Mother bought is currently being renovated. It’ll probably be ready in August.”

“Uff”, Harry makes. “That means you have to travel with her to France then?”

Draco nods. “Hm.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah. I really don’t fancy the idea of spending Christmas with distant relatives I don’t even know that well.”

Harry nods. “Yeah, I get that. Sounds awful.”

Harry tilts his head and thinks for a moment. The thought of Draco not having a good time during Christmas breaks his heart and his hero complex is coming through. “Remember right before the Halloween break, when we thought about staying in Hogwarts? Just the two of us?”

Draco smiles sadly and nods. “Yeah. Of course. Everything was different back then.”

Harry presses his lips together. He doesn’t want to admit that he misses that time. He clears his throat. “Why don’t we get away over Christmas? Just the two of us?”

Draco’s head snaps up. “What?”

Harry shrugs. “Yeah, why not? I’d rather spend Christmas with you, knowing that you’ll actually enjoy yourself than spending Christmas at the Burrow, worrying about you.”

Draco quickly stares at his book, avoiding Harry’s gaze. Harry knows him well enough to know that he’s blushing. “I don’t know, Harry. Won’t they be disappointed if you don’t spend Christmas with them?”

Harry shrugs. “Maybe. But I’ve spent Christmas with them for years now. I don’t think they’ll be angry with me.”

Draco eventually looks up at him. “Do you _actually_ want to spend Christmas with me or are you just suggesting this because you feel sorry for me?”

Harry smiles. “I’m saying this because I actually want to spend Christmas with you. I’d absolutely love to get away with you.”

Draco beams at Harry. “Okay. Well, then. If you’re serious about this, then I’m down.”

* * *

“You’re doing what?!”, Ron asks, dumbfounded.

Harry licks his lips and kneads his hands. “Um. I’ve booked a little house near the beach and I’m going to spend Christmas with Draco there.”

Hermione stares at Harry. Ron doesn’t know what to say.

“Come on, guys. It’s not that bad, is it? I mean, you’re not angry with me, are you?”

Hermione shakes her head, apparently woken up from her shock. “No, Harry. Of course, we’re not angry. Right, Ron?”

Ron shakes his head. “No, no. That’s not what this is about.”

“Um”, Hermione begins. “Are you sure that you and Draco are just friends? Because friends usually don’t book a house and spend Christmas with each other.”

“Well, _we’re_ friends, and we’ve spent the past hundred Christmas Eves together”, Harry argues.

Ron rolls his eyes. “No, Harry. We’re family, not friends. That’s different.”

Harry presses his lips together. His heart swells inside his chest.

“Harry, we’re just worried about you”, Hermione replies softly. “We don’t want you to get hurt. And this thing with Draco is already complicated enough as it is.”

Harry nods. “Yeah, I know. It’s more than complicated, actually. I just want him to have a good Christmas this time. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? It won’t end in a disaster, I promise.”

Ron sighs and runs a hand through his red strands. “Merlin, Harry. I don’t really know what to say. I’ve been watching you and Draco for the past few months and it’s almost like watching two cars crashing into each other. I keep waiting for this whole thing to blow up in your faces.” 

“Ronald!”, Hermione hisses and punches Ron in the stomach. “What Ron is trying to say is, we’re all worried about you. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

Harry nods. “I know.”

He can’t say anything else though. Even if he wanted to stop and distance himself from Draco, at this point, he couldn’t. He’s falling, deeper and deeper, and there’s no way to stop.

* * *

The holidays are actually rolling around much quicker than Harry had thought. The two weeks go by and Harry actually is starting to feel nervous now. Ever since realizing that he’s actually falling in love with Draco, he worries that Draco might actually realize it too. He might call Harry out on his bullshit or worse. He might be disgusted and angry with him and cancel their friendship.

Harry forces himself to calm down as he walks down the stairs. He immediately smiles when his eyes land on Draco, who’s waiting for him in the Entrance Hall with his luggage.

“Ready?”, Harry asks and holds out his arm. Draco wraps his arm around him and nods.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

Harry apparates them to the location of the little house. They land a few feet away from the house and Harry immediately hears the swooshing of the ocean and breathes in the clear air.

“It’s beautiful here”, Draco speaks and for a moment, they simply stand in the middle of the sand dunes, watching the ocean and the beach. Harry hasn’t felt this peaceful in months. He squeezes Draco’s arm and feels a weird tightness in his chest.

Then, Harry starts walking towards the little house. He opens the red door and walks inside, Draco following him.

It’s small. There’s no real entrance hall. They step inside and immediately find themselves in the living room. Huge windows are allowing the light to get inside, a chimney in the corner, and a huge dark green sofa.

There’s a stair on the right leading upstairs and a door to the left, probably leading into the kitchen.

“Wow, it’s so nice!”, Draco exclaims and Harry raises an eyebrow at him.

“Well, excuse me”, he jokes. “Did you really think I’d rent a hovel?”

Draco snickers. “No, no. Sorry. I just didn’t expect it to be this cozy. I mean, it’s very Scandinavian chic.”

Harry has no clue what Draco is talking about, but he’s glad the other man likes the house.

They both head upstairs and go into their own separate rooms. Harry almost wants to suggest to share a room, but he knows that wouldn’t end well. He really can’t sleep in the same bed as Draco and not make a move on the other man. But staring at the lonely bed in his room seems wrong. He shouldn’t be sleeping here alone. Harry sighs. Get it together, man. Just friends.

After unpacking their luggage, they walk downstairs to make some dinner.

“Any food wishes?”, Harry asks and Draco shakes his head.

“No. I’ll eat whatever you prepare.”

Harry grins. “Alright then.”

Draco sits down at the round table in the kitchen and watches Harry get out some tomatoes, pasta, zucchini, cheese, and lentils. Then, Harry begins to cook Spaghetti Bolognese.

“Did you bring all of this with you?”

Harry nods. “Yeah. I went grocery shopping before we left.”

Draco grins. “Merlin, that’s such a muggle thing to do.”

Harry grins as he eventually turns on the radio and hums along to “Fly Me To The Moon” by Frank Sinatra. He almost forgets that Draco is still watching him.

“I didn’t know that you could cook.”

Harry turns around and watches Draco. “I can’t really cook that well. When I lived with my aunt and my uncle, I always had to help my aunt in the kitchen. She forced me to cut veggies, roast meat, bake things for her. It was actually quite helpful.”

Draco gets up and steps closer to Harry. “I want to watch.”

Harry grins. “There’s not much to watch. I’m just cutting the zucchini.”

“Without any magic?”

“Yeah, I’m doing it the muggle way. With a knife and a cutting board.” Harry bites back a laugh at Draco’s fascinated expression. He looks as if he’s never seen a knife and a zucchini before.

“Do you want to try it?”, Harry asks and hands him the knife.

Draco shrugs. “Um. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Let me show you”, Harry replies and begins cutting the zucchini in half. “Just like that. Here, go on. Try it.”

Draco takes the knife and tries to follow Harry’s instructions. Every now and then, Harry places his hand over Draco’s to apply more pressure on the knife. He can feel Draco tense every time their fingers touch. Harry tries to focus on anything else than Draco's presence and his incredibly delicious smell. 

Once Harry is happy with Draco’s technique, he turns around and begins to cut up the tomatoes.

It’s nice. Harry and Draco, cooking together in their little apartment, music playing in the background. Harry could get used to this. He probably shouldn’t.

When dinner is finally ready, they move to the living room and sit down on the couch.

“This is nice”, Draco exclaims softly, eating his spaghetti. He seems so much younger. Harry wants to hug him and protect him from the world. Merlin, he needs to get a grip.

Harry smiles. “Thank you. I’m glad you like it, but you also did a great job at cooking.”

“Oh, no. I’m not talking about the food. I meant _this_ ”, Draco waves around. “Sitting here, having dinner with you. It’s nice.”

Harry feels a sting inside his chest. He swallows down the lump in his throat. _Just friends_. “I enjoy it, too.”

Draco continues to eat. “I’ve never really experienced anything like this before, you know?”

“Like this?”, Harry asks.

“Spending time with someone who actually makes me feel good about myself.”

Harry doesn’t know whether he wants to cry, or smile, or hug him, or kiss him. He feels his heart beating faster and faster.

“You’ve never felt good about yourself before?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I simply don’t enjoy other people’s company that much. I like being on my own. I always had to be, you know? But I do enjoy your company. A lot, actually.”

Harry smiles. He tenses his body, trying his hardest to think about anything else. He should not be thinking about how badly he wants to kiss Draco, how good the other man smells, how soft his hair looks, and how pale his skin is. Harry clears his throat. He nods and continues eating his bowl of spaghetti. Once they’re done eating and cleaned everything, Harry drops onto the sofa again.

“Do you want to watch a movie?”, Harry suggests when his eyes land on the little TV next to the chimney.

“A what?”

Harry’s head snaps around. “Wait. You do know what a movie is, right?”

“A what?”, Draco asks again.

“Oh my god, Draco”, Harry sighs, his voice filled with fake outrage. “You’ve been missing out on so much!”

“Um. I really have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah”, Harry replies. “I know.”

Harry gets up and turns on the TV. He mutes it and sits back down on the couch. “Okay, listen. Muggles have many electric devices that witches and wizards don’t know about.”

“Uh. Okay”, Draco seems to concentrate on Harry’s words now.

“Wow, this is really hard to explain. Okay. Um. So, we have this box. We call it a television. Televisions receive signals, and they can turn those signals into moving pictures and sounds.

It’s almost like a book, it can tell stories. But the images are already acted out on the screen with sounds. The pictures move fluently.”

Draco seems absolutely confused. “Okay. I’m not sure if I actually understand all of this, but I’ll just go with the flow.”

“Muggles watch TV, because it’s amusing to watch. As I said, it’s almost like reading a book. But it’s much easier and faster because you see everything in vivid images and colors and sounds in front of you.”

“That actually sounds insane, Harry. I can’t imagine it being relaxing or amusing at all.”

Harry shakes his head. “No, trust me. Let’s just start watching a movie and you’ll see what I mean.”

Draco tilts his head. “What exactly is a movie?”

“Um. It’s basically a book? Shit, I’m horrible at explaining, I’m really sorry.”

Draco smiles. “You know what? I trust you. Just do your thing and I’ll try to tag along.”

Harry watches Draco for a moment, his heart beating incredibly fast. He really doesn’t deserve Draco.

Harry clears his throat and focuses on the box of DVDs on the floor. He rummages through them and eventually finds Disney’s “Lady and the Tramp”.

Harry smiles. “This is a children’s movie, but it’s actually very sweet.”

Draco nods and grabs a blanket. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Harry watches him amused and sets up the DVD. Then, he sits back down next to Draco and begins the movie.

Draco’s confused during the first ten minutes. But then, he gets the hang of it. He stares at the screen in utter fascination and admiration and every time Harry tries to say something, Draco punches his arm.

“Shhh”, he hisses. “I need to focus!”

Harry giggles and instead of watching the movie, he watches the way Draco’s eyes light up or the way his lips flinch every now and then. He wants to move closer. Harry feels this desperate need to reach out and touch Draco’s arm or run his fingers through his hair. He wants to hold his hand and squeeze it. Harry wants to kiss Draco and hold him tight. Instead, he clears his throat. He stands up and walks into the kitchen to get some snacks.

* * *

Harry doesn’t sleep well during the first night. He keeps thinking about Draco and how the other man is sleeping in the room next to him. The raven-haired man fights the wish to get up, walk to Draco’s room, and get into his bed cuddling with him and falling asleep next to him several times. It’s exhausting. 

When he wakes up after a very short night, he stumbles into the bathroom and jumps into the shower. Then, he grabs his jeans and a hoodie, gets dressed, and heads downstairs. He can already smell bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen. Harry smiles when he steps closer and watches Draco cook. 

“Morning”, Harry says after watching Draco for a while. 

The other man jumps up in surprise and turns around. “Oh. Good morning, Harry. Didn’t expect you to be up already.” 

Draco watches him confused, then his eyes light up in recognition. “Oh. You’re not wearing your glasses!” 

Harry runs a hand through his wet hair and nods. “Yeah. I just took a shower.” 

Draco tilts his head. “Mhm. I can see that.” 

“So”, Harry states. “You’re making breakfast?” 

Draco blushes. “Um. Well, I’m trying to. I can’t guarantee that it will actually taste nice. I’ve never really cooked before.” 

Harry giggles. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be great.” 

They sit in silence, while Draco finishes cooking. Harry enjoys watching him. The blonde man seems so concentrated and focused. 

Draco eventually places the two plates in front of Harry. There’s eggs, bacon, avocado, and toast. Draco even conjures some coffee and orange juice, and Harry can’t help but think that this might actually be the best breakfast he’s had in a long time. 

They sit in silence, both staring outside and watching the ocean. It’s nice weather today. The sun is shining, which makes it seem like summer, even though it’s probably freezing cold outside. 

“Do you think it will snow before Christmas?”, Harry asks. 

Draco tilts his head. “I don’t know. It’s really cold outside, so it might.” 

“You were outside already?” 

Draco hums. “Yeah. I woke up very early.” 

Harry tilts his head. Now that he looks at Draco from up close, he does realize that he seems tired and more pale than usual. There are dark shadows under his eyes. He wants to ask why, but Draco cuts him off. “Do you like it? Breakfast?” 

Harry quickly nods. “Yes. It’s brilliant, Draco! Thank you.” 

Draco beams like a ball of light and Harry has to look away. His heart aches and he starts to wonder whether Ron was actually right. Maybe they are like two cars destined to crash into one another. Maybe this whole thing will blow up in their faces. Harry’s throat feels dry and he needs some orange juice to swallow the toast. 

* * * 

“Let’s conjure a Christmas tree!”, Harry suggests after breakfast. “We can decorate it together!” 

Draco follows Harry into the living room. “I’ve never done that before.” 

Harry stops and turns around to look at Draco. “Excuse me? Did you just say you never decorated a Christmas tree before?” 

Draco shakes his head. “No. Mother always made our house-elves do it.” 

“Really? But where’s the fun in that?” 

Draco shrugs. “There wasn’t much fun at the Manor in general, Harry.” 

Harry wants to hug Draco. Merlin, he really wants to reach out and give Draco a tight hug, make him feel loved and cherished, and never let go. He clears his throat. Don't cross the line, Harry. “Okay, well. Then this is a Christmas Holiday filled with firsts. Let’s decorate a Christmas tree for the first time!” 

Draco smiles gently and nods. 

Together, they transfigure a book into a big, splendid Christmas Tree. 

“Wonderful”, Draco states and watches the tree in awe. 

“Let’s get started, shall we?” 

Harry grabs a box filled with stamps from the cupboard on the left and transfigures one of them into fairy lights. Then, he transfigures the others into Christmas tree baubles and tree decoration. 

He hands a Christmas tree bauble to Draco. “Go on.” 

“Where should I hang it?” 

Harry shrugs. “Wherever you want. It’s our tree. There are no rules.” 

Draco takes a deep breath and fumbles for a while. Eventually, he goes for it and hangs the bauble right in the middle of the tree.

They continue to hang up the baubles. Harry holds himself back because he wants Draco to hang up as many baubles as possible. Draco seems even more concentrated decorating the tree than he looked when he prepared breakfast. 

Harry hands Draco a Christmas Star made of glass. Draco watches him in confusion. “What am I supposed to do with his?” 

Harry smiles. “You put it on the top of the tree. It’s the last missing piece.” 

Draco nods. “Okay.”

Then, he reaches up and tries to attach the star to the top of the tree. Draco’s shirt slides up, revealing just the tiniest bit of soft, silky, pale skin. And Harry, he – 

He doesn’t think because – 

Fuck. 

Harry swallows and turns around. He keeps himself busy by tidying up. 

“Okay. I’m done.” 

Harry turns around and watches Draco smile at the tree. He radiates so much joy, peace, and happiness – it actually makes him look much younger and softer than he actually is. It’s insane, looking at Draco now and comparing him to the Draco before the war. Harry can see the difference right before his eyes and it makes him incredibly sad to think what Draco must’ve been through during that time. He vividly sees War-Draco in front of him – the frail, skinny boy with huge circles under his eyes and a frown gracing his face every single day looking like death himself. Harry’s heart swells at the sight of a happy, soft, peaceful Draco and he realizes how utterly fucked he actually is. 

* * * 

Harry gets tired during the day since he hasn’t slept all night. At some point, Draco sits down on the floor and conjures some painting paper, brushes, and paint. Harry watches him from the couch with huge interest. They don’t speak, the TV runs in the background and fills the room with soft noises. 

Harry can’t remember a time when he felt so easy and relaxed around someone. He watches Draco prepare some water and paint. Then, he begins to paint the ocean. His hands run over the paper smoothly, holding the brush with concentration and skill. Harry looks at the scene in front of him in awe. 

He doesn’t dare to say anything since he doesn’t want to interrupt Draco’s flow. He seems to be deeply concentrated. Harry has never seen anything like it. Sure, Hermione is focused when she studies, and Harry is very concentrated when he flies and trains Quidditch. But Draco seems lost in his own thoughts, caught up in his own little world of creativity. 

Harry continues to watch him until his eyes are closing and he eventually falls asleep on the couch. 

* * * 

They spend Christmas Eve making their very own pizza. Draco has never made pizza himself before, and Harry really wanted to keep it interesting and untraditional. 

Therefore, they made a huge mess in the kitchen, laughing and spilling tomato sauce everywhere. But the pizza actually tasted nice. 

After a long walk at the beach, both cuddling into each other’s sides because it’s freaking cold outside, thank you very much, they fall on the couch and watch ‘Jim Carrey’s A Christmas Carol’ together. 

When Draco announces that he will take a long, warm bath, Harry jumps up and rushes into the kitchen. He has a plan. A special surprise for Draco. Even though they agreed on no presents and keeping Christmas as casual as possible, Harry can’t help himself. He wants to make Draco happy. 

* * * 

The raven-haired man stares at the ceiling, feeling out of place in this huge bed and empty room. He should be with Draco right now. After spending the past two days together, watching movies, taking long walks at the beach, cooking together, reading or painting, and even spending the most relaxing and peaceful Christmas Eve with him, Harry begins to feel empty the moment Draco wishes him goodnight and disappears in his room. 

Harry turns around and sighs. There’s no way he’s going to fall asleep anytime soon, but it’s already three am. He can’t stop thinking about Draco, and how the other man is sleeping peacefully in the room next to him. 

Harry reaches over and turns on the light. Then, he gets up and does some stretches. He hasn’t worked out in almost a week and his muscles are beginning to feel sore. Maybe a little stretching will help him relax and then he might actually fall asleep. 

After ten minutes, he gets back into bed and sighs again. His mind is racing and he doesn’t feel tired at all. He wonders what else he could try when suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. 

“Draco?”, Harry asks. 

The door opens, and Draco’s head pops through the door. “I saw the light in your room. I figured you couldn’t sleep either, so I thought I’d knock.” 

Harry smiles and pats the other side of his bed. “Yeah. Do you wanna sit here for a while and talk?” 

Draco nods eagerly and prances closer to the bed. His light blue silk pajamas make him look elegant and put together, they balance out the mess of his hair. It’s so wild, it could almost be considered curly. 

Harry grins. He clearly doesn’t think, when he reaches out to touch Draco’s hair and runs his fingers through his locks. “I can’t believe how soft your hair feels despite looking like a bird's nest right now.” 

Draco’s head snaps around, the moment Harry’s fingers comb through his hair. Harry pulls back slowly. The blonde man watches Harry with an unreadable expression. Then, he slowly answers. “This is its natural state. I usually spend a lot of time to style them. I don’t really like it natural.” 

“I do”, Harry whispers. “I like it a lot. It makes you look softer.” 

A faint blush graces Draco’s cheeks. Then, he clears his throat. “Why couldn’t you sleep? Did you have a nightmare?” 

Harry shakes his head but doesn’t explain further. 

“Or”, Draco grins and changes his voice into a mocking tone. “are you excited for Boxing Day tomorrow?” 

Harry giggles and shakes his head. “Excited, yes. But it doesn’t rob my sleep, no.” 

“So?”, Draco tilts his head, more serious now. “Why can’t you sleep, then?” 

Harry presses his lips together. He definitely doesn’t want to admit to Draco that he can’t sleep without him by his side. That would be embarrassing. And it would probably ruin everything between them. 

Harry clears his throat. “I don’t know. I guess, the bed is too big for me. Why are you up?” 

Draco shrugs. “I was thinking.” 

“About what?” 

“About everything. Life. The future. I don’t know.” 

Harry watches Draco. He wishes he could read anything in his eyes or his face. But his expression is blank. There’s nothing to read, nothing to see, nothing to figure out. They sit in silence for a while.

Eventually, Draco begins to yawn. 

“I don’t want to keep you up”, Harry whispers, already feeling bad for keeping Draco from sleeping. 

Draco stares at his hands, he suddenly seems unsure and nervous. Harry waits for him to speak up. “I – um. I could just stay here, you know. Don’t wanna get up and move again.” 

Harry’s heart starts to beat faster, Draco must hear it for sure. He tries to collect himself. Keep it together, Potter. When he speaks, his own voice sounds off to him. “Yes. You could do that.” 

“Would you -”, Draco begins. Then, he cuts himself off. “Nah. I’ll just head over to my own room.” 

Draco wants to get up, already straightening his back. But Harry’s hand rushes forward, grabs his wrist, and holds on tight. “Stay.” 

For a terribly long moment, Draco stares at Harry’s hand. Harry is almost certain that Draco will shrug it off and tell him no. He knew that eventually, he would have crossed the line, just as he always seems to do with Draco. He prepares himself for the rejection.

But it doesn’t come. Draco sits back down. He cuddles under the blanket and crawls closer to Harry. 

“Nox”, Draco whispers. The light immediately goes off, leaving them both in darkness. 

Harry shivers. He can only see the outlines of Draco now. His grey eyes shimmer in the dark light. They’re so close, Harry can feel Draco’s warmth and his breath on his lips. His heart beats so fast, it almost hurts in his chest. 

“Merry Christmas, Harry”, Draco says, moves forward, and places a soft kiss to his cheek. Then, he turns around, away from Harry. 

Harry holds his breath for a moment. His heart is probably going to explode any minute now. “Merry Christmas, Draco.” 

He shuffles closer to him and places his hand on Draco’s waist. Draco doesn’t move. Harry doesn’t pull back, nor does he move any closer. He stays exactly where he is, his poor heart struggling to keep up. 

* * * 

When Harry wakes up the next morning, he feels pleasantly warm. He slowly starts to notice his surroundings and feels arms wrapped around his waist and a leg thrown over his. He smells Draco and smiles. He missed waking up next to him so much. 

He doesn’t dare to move and wishes it could stay like this forever. He sighs happily and presses a soft kiss to Draco’s forehead. 

Draco snuggles even closer, squeezes his arms around his torso, and burrows his nose in the space between his ear and neck. Harry shivers. 

After half an hour, Draco slowly seems to wake up. He rubs his nose, turns around on his back, and stretches his legs and arms with an “Uurrghh” sound. 

Harry chuckles. “Morning.” 

Draco turns his head and softly smiles at Harry. “Morning.” 

“Did you sleep well?”

Draco’s cheeks turn pink. “Yes. The best sleep I’ve had since October, probably. You?” 

Harry presses his lips together. “Yeah, same.” 

Harry stares at Draco, lost in thought. If he moved a little closer, he could probably kiss him. But if he did that, he would ruin everything between them. And after spending the entire Christmas Break with Draco, Harry isn’t sure how he’s ever going to live without him. Being around Draco is so easy and wonderful. They keep their eye contact for a while. Then, Draco clears his throat and rolls out of bed. 

“Let’s get breakfast, then”, the blonde man says and heads out of the room. 

They head downstairs together, that’s when Harry starts to get nervous. He has a small present prepared for Draco in the kitchen, but now he starts to wonder whether it was actually a good idea. He doesn’t know how to act around Draco anymore – whether it’s too much or not enough or just right. 

Harry walks into the kitchen first, slowly turning around. “Um”, he starts. “I know we agreed not to give each other presents. But I have something for you.” 

Draco stares at Harry in disbelief. 

“Please don’t be mad”, Harry says, only half-joking. 

He steps aside and allows Draco to take a look at the kitchen table. There are a freshly baked lemon cake and a small package next to it. 

Draco’s mouth drops and he steps closer to the kitchen. “You –“ 

Harry bites his nail anxiously and watches Draco staring at the cake. Oh god. This was a stupid idea. Harry should’ve just let it be. He overstepped the line. He knew he would ruin their fresh friendship at some point. 

Then, all of a sudden, Draco turns around, rushes forward and throws his arms around Harry. He squeezes him tightly and burrows his nose in the space between Harry’s ear and his neck. “Thank you, Harry. Thank you so much.” 

“So”, Harry asks. “this isn’t too much?” 

Draco only shakes his head and squeezes him even tighter.

Harry sighs in relief and wraps his arms around Draco’s torso. He breathes in Draco, closes his eyes, relishes the moment. This feels like home. Harry tightens his arms around Draco and presses his lips to his neck. They stay like this for a while, until Draco removes his arms. Harry feels cold and wishes Draco would have kept hugging him. 

“I don’t know if the cake is any good”, Harry apologizes. “I’m not the best baker, to be honest.” 

Draco shakes his head, his eyes glistening. “I really don’t care. I’m over the moon. You’re the best! Thank you.” 

Harry smiles. “You still need to open the present!” 

Draco nods and sits down at the table, Harry sits next to him. He watches the blonde man open the present carefully. 

Then, he stares at it, unsure what to do with it. “I’m sorry, Harry. The lemon cake was easy to understand. But what exactly is this?” 

Harry chuckles. “Don’t worry, I knew it needed some explanation. This is a phone.” 

Draco tilts his head in confusion. He looks adorable. 

“It’s another muggle thing. Every single muggle has one of those. Honestly, if you don’t have a phone at this point you’re considered old-fashioned, weird, or an alternative hipster. Everybody has a phone. Everybody!” 

“Okay, and what exactly is this? And what is it for?” 

“This is an electric device. You can send letters and receive letters from anyone in the world. These letters are called text messages. It’s almost like your own little owl. You can also call anyone in this world. Calling somebody means you talk to them on the phone. Through the phone.” 

“Magical”, Draco says, looking absolutely stunned. “So, do you have a phone?” 

Harry nods. “Yeah.” 

“So, I can send you a letter anytime I want? Or I can ‘call’ you and talk to you through this?” 

Harry nods. “Exactly.” 

“Fantastic”, Draco mumbles and stares at the silver iPhone in his hands. “Muggles are fascinating. I had no idea they were so clever.” 

Harry barks out a loud laugh, feeling a bubbly excitement in his chest. “Yeah. They do have their moments.” 

Harry begins to explain the phone to Draco. He shows him how to send a text message, how to make a phone call, how to take photos, and how to download apps. 

Draco seems like a child. He listens carefully, takes notes when things get too complicated for him, he nods and mumbles incoherent words, he stares at the screen in confusion and fascination and Harry wants to kiss him. God, he wants to kiss him and tell him how much he needs him in his life. How could Harry ever think he could just be friends with Draco? Draco, the most handsome, sweet, intelligent, funny, adorable man he has ever met! 

Draco grabs the phone, opens the camera, and holds it up in the air. He points the camera towards Harry and snaps a picture. “Lovely.” 

He continues to snap random pictures until he flips the camera and squeaks when he sees his own face. Harry laughs. 

“Oh god”, Draco sighs. “My hair looks ridiculous.” 

_Wonderful_ , Harry thinks. Draco’s hair looks wonderful. 

Draco positions the camera in front of them shuffles closer and grins into the camera. “Smile, Harry!” 

And Harry does. Draco snaps the picture. Harry makes sure that he immediately sends it to him. 

“I actually have something for you as well”, Draco announces, a deep blush forming on his face. “It’s meant as a joke though.” 

Harry tilts his head in confusion and waits for Draco to continue. 

“You always say how soft my hair is. And you also comment on how smooth and fancy it looks.” 

Harry clears his throat and nods. God, how embarrassing. 

Draco licks his lips. “Well. I analyzed your hair structure, researched a bit. Long story short, I made a potion. For your hair.” 

Harry blinks at him in surprise. “You – what?” 

Draco’s blush deepens. “Um. Yeah. A joke. As I said. I’m not even sure if it’ll work.” 

Harry beams. “Are you serious?” 

Draco nods. “Yeah. Please don’t take it seriously. It’s honestly meant as a joke. I don’t know. It’s stupid.” 

“Are you insane? That is actually incredible. You know how much I struggle with my hair. Always have. I have no clue what to do with it.” 

Draco sighs in relief. “Well. I tried my best. Not sure if it’ll work. I don’t know your hair _that_ well. But I also make hair potions for Blaise, Pansy, Longbottom, and a few others. They’re always happy with the results.” 

“Neville? You make hair potions for Neville?” 

“We have a deal. I brew him potions, he gives me ingredients, since he has access to the greenhouses.” 

Harry nods. He grins. “I see. I didn’t know you had an illegal deal with Longbottom.” 

Draco shrugs his shoulders and grins. “What can I say?”

Harry licks his lips. “I want to try it!” 

Draco looks up at him in surprise. “What? Right now?” 

Harry nods eagerly. “Yes! But you have to help me with it.” 

Draco’s eyes widen. “Um. How am I supposed to do that?” 

“You have to tell me what to do!” 

Draco eventually gives in and agrees. They head upstairs together and enter the bathroom. Draco gets out two little bottles with a green liquid inside. 

“One is the shampoo. It’s supposed to clean your scalp without making it dry or frizzy. The other is a conditioner. This smoothes the hair and makes it soft.” 

Harry nods and looks at the bathtub. Should he undress and get in the bathtub naked? Or should he keep his boxers on? How are they going to do this? He probably should’ve thought about that earlier, but when it comes to Draco, he can’t think straight.

Draco seems to think about the same thing, but he doesn’t seem to have an answer. 

“Hm. I’ll leave my boxers on”, Harry decides. He takes off his hoodie, then his sweatpants. He’s suddenly very much aware of the proximity in this tiny bathroom. He notices how close Draco is standing and feels hot all of a sudden. Even though they had sex multiple times and saw each other naked about a million times by now, Harry feels nervous, shy, and self-conscious all of a sudden. This is different, he thinks. There’s no Amortentia to cloud their brains. What if Draco looks at Harry’s body and finds it absolutely disgusting now?

He quickly sits down in the bathtub, hides his body with his arms, and grabs the showerhead. He turns it on and waits for the water to warm up, while Draco sits down on the floor. 

Draco watches Harry. He watches him wet his hair and his body with the warm water and Harry’s throat suddenly feels dry. Maybe he should’ve thought this through. Maybe he shouldn’t have urged Draco to help him with his hair. But now it’s too late anyway. He’s sitting as good as naked in a bathtub. Draco Malfoy, the man he’s fucked countless times and Harry still feels awkward being naked in front of him, sits next to him. This is a surreal, weird situation. Harry truly has the talent to get himself into the most fucked up situations.

Harry squeezes his eyes shut and nods. “Okay. Go on then.” 

Draco takes the showerhead from Harry’s hands. His voice sounds rough and quiet. “You haven’t used enough water. You need to go much slower.” 

Harry hums as he listens to Draco’s gentle instructions. He shivers when water splashes over him. Then, Draco runs his hands through Harry’s hair softly, and Harry tries to suppress a soft moan. This feels too good. 

Harry closes his eyes, pulls his legs close to his chest, and lets Draco do all the work. Draco gives Harry the showerhead back, opens the little shampoo bottle carefully, and lets some of the potion drop over Harry’s head. Then, he begins to massage Harry’s scalp. Harry purrs. 

“Feels nice”, he states. His thoughts go blank. 

Draco only hums in response and continues. Then, the blonde man takes the showerhead again and begins to wash out the shampoo. Harry rolls his head back and gives Draco better access. 

“Already feels softer”, Draco whispers, his voice sounding raspy. He clears his throat. 

Harry doesn’t dare to open his eyes. He might ruin the magic of the moment. What if Draco suddenly realizes what they’re doing and disappears? What if Draco will be mad at Harry for luring him into this situation? His heart beats painfully in his chest, and he wishes he could mute his anxious thoughts. 

Harry bites his lip and breathes out. He wants to enjoy this as much as possible. It’s been almost two months since he last felt Draco’s hands on his skin and it shouldn’t feel this fantastic, but he can’t help it. He loves Draco’s hands on his body, he craves it so much that it physically hurts his body. 

Then, Draco opens the second bottle and works the potion into Harry’s hair. Harry lets it all happen. 

“Smells really good”, Harry notices. 

“There’s Vanilla in it.” 

Harry hums. “Lovely.” 

“That's what I thought.” 

Harry nods and lets him continue. When Draco’s hands move lower and rest on his shoulders, Harry can’t stop the happy sigh leaving his lips. Draco begins to massage his shoulders, rubbing and squeezing them gently and Harry wants to turn around and kiss the other man. God, he really, really wants to kiss him. 

But he won’t do it. He’s too scared of ruining things between them, and he doesn’t want Draco to feel uncomfortable. 

Draco continues to massage his shoulders for a couple more minutes. Then, he washes his hair again and makes sure that all of the potions are washed out. 

“Finished”, Draco whispers and turns off the water. 

Harry blinks in surprise and feels as if somebody had woken him up from a dream. He clears his throat and gets up – too quickly. All of a sudden, he feels dizzy and for a few seconds, his vision turns black. 

He feels steady hands rush forward, holding him by the waist, and keeping him steady. “Easy, easy, Potter.” 

Harry needs a moment. He holds on to Draco’s shoulders, squeezes his eyes shut, and takes a few deep breaths. Then, slowly, very slowly, his vision comes back and he looks up. Suddenly, he realizes how close Draco and Harry are standing. He could easily move forward and press his lips on top of Draco’s. He can already feel his breath on his lips. It would be so damn easy.

Draco breaks the moment by helping him out of the bathtub, still holding on to him. “Alright?” 

Harry nods. “Yeah. The heat made me dizzy.” 

Draco hums and hands him a towel. Harry takes it and begins to rub his body dry. 

“Let’s see if the potion was any good, huh?” 

Harry nods, still feeling very far away. He could’ve kissed Draco. He _should’ve_ kissed Draco. He’s a freaking Gryffindor, after all. He’s all about bravery! Why does he feel like such a coward around Draco? 

Draco grabs a chair and forces Harry to sit down in front of the mirror. Harry can now see all of Draco. His blushed cheeks, his blonde curls, his grey eyes that seem vivid in the dim bathroom light. Draco looks so freaking beautiful. Harry bites his lip. 

“You look like a deer caught in the headlights”, Draco jokes. But it’s not funny to Harry. He does feel as if he’s not fully present, a thousand thoughts running through his mind. 

Draco begins to dry Harry’s hair with his wand. He brushes through Harry’s jungle of hair and tries to tame it. 

Harry watches him. He looks at Draco, wonders how he could ever live without him. He craves everything of Draco. And sure, he doesn’t ever want to lose him, but maybe he needs to risk it all one more time. He holds his breath. 

“Draco, I think we shou–“ 

“I think this is actually working! Look at this! Your hair seems so much softer and neater!” 

Harry presses his lips together, not wanting to interrupt Draco’s flow. His eyes sparkle and he seems so excited. Harry doesn’t want to ruin that right now. He continues to watch Draco through the mirror, feeling his heart clench inside his chest. 

“This is fantastic!”, Draco shouts in excitement. He looks like a proud puppy.

Harry smiles softly. “Thank you, Draco. It actually looks wonderful.” 

Even though Draco isn’t finished yet, his hair already looks better. Draco manages to style it into a neat, Hollywood worthy quiff. 

Harry stares at himself in the mirror and doesn’t even notice the way Draco stares back at Harry. 

“You look good”, is all the blonde man manages to say. “Really, really good.” 

Harry’s eyes snap up and he watches Draco through the mirror. This time, neither of them break the eye contact. Harry suddenly feels hot, and it’s getting harder to breathe. 

Then, Draco leans down in one swift movement, wraps his arms around Harry’s shoulders from behind, and presses a kiss to Harry’s cheeks. “Thank you. This was the best Christmas yet.” 

Harry’s chest tightens. He wants to hold onto him and never let go. But then, Draco straightens his back, turns around, and leaves the bathroom. 

This is it, Harry thinks. Now or never. He might never have the chance to make a move again. Even if it means risking everything and losing Draco. Harry needs to try. If there’s a small chance that Draco actually likes him back, then Harry has to try. Adrenaline is pumping through his veins as Harry jumps up from the chair. Merlin. He’s actually going to do it. He’s going to risk it all. 

He follows Draco into his bedroom, suddenly very aware of the fact that he’s only wearing soaking wet underwear and a towel wrapped around his shoulders. 

The wizard stops in the doorway and watches Draco. He’s standing in the middle of the room, eyes closed, hands covering his eyes, and he’s breathing heavily. 

“Draco.” 

Draco’s head snaps around, grey eyes staring into green ones. Neither of them says anything. Draco seems lost for words, his cheeks rosy, his lips glossy, the hair a mess and his hands clenched into fists. He’s never looked more beautiful to Harry. Harry’s madly in love with him, he realizes then. It’s a miracle to him how he pushed it all away until now. Fuck, Harry’s probably been in love with Draco from the moment they first kissed. It all seems so fucking ridiculous now. The Armortentia, the denial of feelings, lying to himself, running away from it all. He should’ve been honest with himself. He should’ve talked to Draco sooner for god’s sake. Harry was such an idiot! How could he ever fool himself and everyone around him and pretend he wasn’t in love with Draco? It's all crystal clear now. 

“Harry, I’m sorry for losing contr–“ 

Harry surges forward. He grabs Draco’s face with both his hands, presses his lips against Draco’s, and lets Draco decide whether he wants to push him away or continue. He’s not moving, his lips pressed against Draco’s and waits patiently for something, anything. 

He’s breathing heavily and notices how tense Draco feels. God, this is it. Draco isn’t reaching back. Harry has ruined everything. 

He almost wants to pull away, his heart beating painfully fast. But then, Draco sighs into the kiss, his muscles relax, and he starts to move his lips against Harry’s. Harry sighs, his mind dazed with pleasure and pure happiness. His body is on fire in the best way possible, because Draco is actually kissing him back! Merlin, this can’t be true, right? Harry must be dreaming. But then, Draco slides his arms around Harry’s back and presses him up against the wall. He’s kissing him back, leaving Harry breathless and thrilled by how good this all feels. It's the best kiss they've shared so far. They're both sober, both needy, both desperate.

Harry can feel Draco’s dick pressing into his stomach already. He feels relieved knowing that the whole scenario in the bathtub didn’t leave the blonde boy cold either. 

“Fuck”, Harry moans into the kiss and begins to undress Draco. He opens the buttons on his pajama shirt and lets it slide to the floor. His hands find the waistband of Draco’s sweatpants and he begins to push them down. 

Draco roams his hands all over Harry’s body, kissing him fiercely and holding onto him for dear life, biting his lip and scratching his back.

“God, I missed this”, Harry sighs and pushes Draco closer to the bed. “Bed, bed, bed. Now!” 

Draco nods eagerly and lets Harry push him on the bed. Harry falls on top of him and continues to kiss Draco as if his life depended on it. He feels like he’s falling, deeper and deeper into the unknown. When Draco’s tongue licks his bottom lip, begging for entrance, Harry’s mind goes blank. His dick is throbbing painfully as he rolls his hips up against Draco and moans. “Fuck, Draco!”

Draco seems to be just as aroused. He lets his head roll back, allowing Harry access to his neck. Harry pulls away from Draco’s lips and kisses his way down low, bites Draco’s neck, kisses the sensitive skin, and turning the blonde man into a shuddering, moaning mess. 

“Harry!”, he sighs, reaching for Harry’s arms, shoulders, anything. He seems desperate for more. “Please, please! Do something, oh god.” 

Harry’s hand travel lower, resting over the other man’s stomach. Then, he slides his hand into Draco’s boxers and begins to massage his cock slowly. 

Draco’s mouth falls open. “Oh, fuck, Harry!” 

Harry bites his lip, trying to suppress a groan. He’s starting to sweat, he feels way too warm. But he doesn’t stop. He wishes he could freeze this moment and stay here forever, with Draco. 

Draco begins to roll his hips in anticipation. “Harry, hurry the fuck up!” 

“Okay, _fuck_ , Draco,” Harry breathes, and then both his hands slide under Draco’s arse, holding him up and spreading him open and squeezing.

“Harry,” Draco groans. Harry begins to lick the inside of Draco’s thighs, occasionally bites as he strokes Draco’s hole with his fingertip. 

He breathes heavily, can’t wait much longer, because he wants this so much he can’t bear it.

Harry conjures some lube. Then his warm, slick finger presses at Draco’s entrance, circling around it. 

“Okay?”, Harry whispers, kisses Draco’s thigh, and watches Draco through worried eyes. The last thing he wants to do is hurt Draco or make him feel uncomfortable. 

“Merlin, Potter”, Draco groans. “We fucked so many times, do I really need to tell you again? Fuck me, use me, be rough, I don’t give a fuck. Do something, please!” 

Harry grins, then he pushes two fingers in. Draco cries out “ _Merlin!”_

Harry pushes Draco’s arse up higher. He needs better access. 

“Fuck, Harry. How did I survive the last few weeks without this?” 

Harry hates how rough and desperate Draco’s voice sounds. He bites his lip and continues to fuck him with his fingers. He doesn’t really know what to say since he also doesn’t know how he survived without Draco. He never wants to live without him ever again. 

“Say my name again,” Harry demands, watching Draco in anticipation. 

“Harry,” he sighs, pressing back as Harry sets up a painfully slow rhythm, letting Draco feel the length of his fingers as he pushes it in and out. It must hurt Draco, it must burn, but still, Draco begs for more. “Please,” he gasps, “Harry, more.”

Harry grins and adds another finger, and Draco spreads his legs further apart, his hips trembling as Harry stretches him open with his fingers. 

“Rollover”, Harry orders, and Draco complies immediately. Harry slaps his arse cheek, then he nudges Draco’s legs apart, waiting for Draco to adjust before positioning himself.

Harry closes his eyes, holds on to Draco’s hips, and slowly, very slowly, slides inside. He’s so tight, Harry might actually faint. Fuck, how much better Sex feels when he’s sober. He can feel everything about Draco. He groans. Harry rocks slowly inside of him, slowly building up a rhythm. 

“Merlin, I need— _fuck me,_ Harry,” Draco cries out. 

Harry obliges because the desire, the want, the lust is burning in his lungs and he needs all of Draco, right now.

He slams into Draco, hard and fast. He holds on to Draco’s waist, and he’s sure there’s going to be bruises tomorrow. Draco’s hands fist the sheets, his hips meet Harry’s thrusts and he cries out desperately. “Harry, Merlin. Fuck, yes!” 

Harry can’t think straight anymore. The heat, Draco’s groans, his soft skin, it’s all too much and not enough at the same time. Harry speeds up the pace, moving in and out of Draco so easily, he thinks their bodies must be perfect for each other. Sex has never felt so good. 

_“_ Ah, Draco,” Harry groans. “Fuck, you—you feel so good _– nnngh!”_

Harry breathes heavily, the rhythm of his hips stuttering as he holds on to Draco’s shoulder with one arm, the other arm reaches around Draco’s torso and grabs his pulsing cock. He begins to massage him, matching the rhythm of his hips. 

Then, Draco’s knees fall open, allowing Harry to push inside even deeper. Apparently, Harry must’ve done something right, because Draco’s head rolls back with a scream. “Fuck, right there!” 

Harry continues to push into Draco, hitting that particular spot over and over again. 

Tears are forming in Draco’s eyes, slowly rolling down his cheeks. Harry stretches his neck and kisses Draco’s throat. 

“Harry,” is all that comes out of Draco’s mouth. It sounds weak and broken, and Harry’s heart clenches. He never wants to hear Draco’s voice sound that vulnerable again. “God, Harry, I love you so much.” 

Harry comes right then and there. He groans, spilling inside of Draco and bites on his shoulder. He strokes Draco one more time before Draco follows Harry over the edge and collapses on the bed. 

Harry presses kisses all over Draco’s back, feeling absolutely exhausted. His muscles hurt, his heartbeats in his chest quickly, and he feels himself drifting into the most peaceful sleep in months. 

* * * 

When Harry wakes up a couple hours later, he knows something is wrong right away. The bed feels empty and cold. He reaches around, but Draco is nowhere to be seen. 

“ _Fuck!_ ” he shouts, hope still simmering inside his stomach. Maybe Draco just went downstairs for a cup of tea? But Harry knows that Draco won’t be in the kitchen. He just knows that Draco apparated away. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Harry jumps out of the bed, rushing to the bathroom and reaching for his glasses. He doesn’t even remember putting them down yesterday. Then, he hurries to his bedroom and grabs a jumper and a pair of sweatpants. He gets dressed as quickly as he can manage and almost runs downstairs, tripping on the stairs. 

“Draco?”, he shouts. No answer. He runs to the kitchen, checking the room first. No Draco. Then, he checks the living room – empty. Fuck.

Harry’s heart drops to the floor. He drops onto the sofa and stares at his hands. Fuck, he ruined everything between them! He shouldn’t have made a move. Draco wasn’t ready. But he told him he loved him! That must mean something, right? 

Harry jumps up again and knocks over the glass of water Draco had used for his paintings on the floor. “Shit!” 

He reaches down and takes the glass, puts it on the table and grabs his wand to clean up the mess. Once he’s finished, he grabs the brushes and the paintings Draco had left on the floor and puts them aside. His hands are trembling and he feels nauseous. He fucked it all up again. 

But then, something catches his eye. One of the paintings shows a man that looks oddly like Harry. 

He grabs the painting and takes a closer look. That’s his messy hair, his long lashes, his lips, and – his scar?! It is Harry! It shows him sleeping on this exact couch. His hair looks wild but his face seems so peaceful and – beautiful. 

Harry’s head is going all fuzzy and he wishes that he could clear it. His heart thrums painfully in his chest and he feels like throwing up. Draco painted him! And he made him look so beautiful. 

He wishes he could wrap his arms around Draco right now and tell him how much he loves him. How much he wants to be with him. How badly he wants to kiss him and fall asleep next to him for the rest of his life. How much he regrets the past two months of ignoring each other and not admitting his feelings sooner. He could’ve spent the past months kissing Draco every single day! But he as a fool and was too scared, to be honest with himself. He wants to tell Draco all of this. But now he’s gone. 

After packing all of his stuff, he immediately apparates to the Burrow. He doesn’t even care about anything else. The moment Ron sees Harry walk through the door, he drops his cup of tea, shouts “Hermione! Emergency!” and grabs Harry's arm. Ron pulls Harry with him and rushes to his bedroom, Hermione following him immediately. 

“What happened?”, she asks without letting Harry catch his breath. 

Harry feels his eyes fill with tears. 

“Oh no. Did he break your heart?”, Ron asks. Hermione kicks him in the stomach. 

Harry shakes his head and rubs his eyes. “No.” 

The wizard cringes at how broken his own voice sounds. He clears his throat and tries again. “No. No, he didn’t.” 

His friends wait and give Harry some time to collect his thoughts. “It was wonderful. Really. We got along so well. Everything was perfect. And then, I snapped and I kissed him and we had sex.” 

Ron tilts his head and opens his mouth, but Hermione grabs his hand, forcing him to stay quiet. 

“He told me he loved me. And once we were done, I fell asleep. When I woke up, he was gone.” 

Hermione and Ron exchange a confused look. “What? He left?” 

Harry nods. 

“Without saying anything?” Just like that? No note? Nothing?” 

Harry shrugs. 

“Did you talk after having sex?”, Hermione asks still confused. There’s a deep wrinkle forming between her bushy brows. 

Harry shakes his head. “I fell asleep.” 

“Did you tell him that you love him back?” 

Harry shakes his head. “Um. No. I didn’t really have time. It all happened so quickly.” 

Hermione sighs and runs a hand through her curly hair. “Harry! He probably thinks that you don’t love him back.” 

Harry rubs his eyes, his chest feeling uncomfortably tight. “I wanted to tell him, but it all happened so fast. It wasn’t the right moment!” 

“I’m no expert, mate. But I think you should talk to him. Be honest for once. Tell him how you feel.”, Ron eventually says. 

Harry fights back tears, his throat suddenly feels very dry. Fuck, when did he turn into a pathetic cry-baby? “I’m scared of messing things up between us.” 

“Harry, things have never not been messed up between you guys. We’re talking about you and Malfoy!”, Ron almost shouts in frustration. 

Harry nods. “I know, I know. I just –“ 

Harry swallows thickly. His eyes flicker between Hermione and Ron. “I really, genuinely love him and I don’t want to lose him.” 

“Then fight for him,” Hermione replies and she makes it sound so easy. “Apparate to his place and tell him you love him.” 

Harry stares at her perplexed. “I can’t just do that.” 

“Why not?” 

He bites his lip and shakes his head. “I can’t. I really can’t. I – Fuck, I don’t know. I’m too scared.” 

“You’re a freaking Gryffindor. Grow a pair of balls and tell him how you feel!”, Ron argues and shakes Harry’s shoulders. 

But Harry feels nauseous. He wants to hide in his bed here in the Burrow and never face reality again. He shouldn’t have kissed Draco. He ruined everything between them. And even though Draco told him he loved him, he still disappeared. Maybe he regrets saying it now. Fighting Voldemort was easy compared to confessing your feelings not only to yourself but also to the person you love. Harry wants the world to open up and swallow him. 

* * * 

New Year’s Eve is only two days away and Harry would much rather spend it all by himself in his bed, but his family doesn’t allow him to do that. 

Hermione, Molly, Ginny, and Luna have prepared a big party over the last few weeks. They’ve invited every wizard and witch they roughly know. Harry feels exhausted by simply listening to Ginny reading out names who are invited. 

He’s thankful that they spare him from helping much. Molly had given him a kiss on the cheek the other day. She had commented on how soft Harry’s hair feels and Harry had almost burst out into tears. Ever since then, he was left alone most of the time, his friends chatting with him occasionally and trying to distract him from the aching burn inside his chest. 

He watches the others set up the big tent in the garden. Charlie prepares the music, Luna handcrafts some decoration, and Ginny sends out the last invitations. Harry sighs and walks up to his room to take a nap. 

* * * 

He writes ten million text messages, ready to send each of them to Draco’s new phone. But then, he deletes them again. 

Harry also writes letters. Many, many letters. But no owl ever gets to see any of them. He burns them all before anyone can see them. 

The wizard knows that he’s a coward. There’s no reason for him to avoid Draco. He should look for him, talk to him, tell him the truth. Be the Gryffindor that he is. 

But fuck, why isn’t Draco reaching out to him instead? Draco was the one who disappeared! And now Draco doesn’t write or call or text! Harry is slowly but surely going insane. 

All he can think of is the way Draco had kissed him back. The way Draco had moaned Harry’s name. The way he had confessed his love to him. Harry’s brain feels fuzzy. He needs to distract himself. 

For once, he’s actually looking forward to the New Year’s Eve Party tomorrow. He’ll get absolutely shit-faced and maybe he’ll even make out with some strange wizard. He’ll distract himself for the night. He’s not going to think about Draco. 

***

The moment he steps inside the party tent, he feels overwhelmed. The music is too loud, there are people everywhere, everyone is laughing. But that’s not why he feels overwhelmed. 

The moment he steps inside, his eyes land on Draco Malfoy, standing in the corner, murmuring something into Pansy’s ear. Harry’s heart stops beating, and he wants to run away, but at the same time, he wants to run up to Draco and kiss him and hug him. He had no idea that Draco was invited. Frantically, he searches the tent for Ron, or Hermione, or anyone really. 

He finds Hermione at the bar and rushes up to her. “Hermione!” 

She smiles when she seems him. “Harry! You look great. Ginny was right, green looks good on you.” 

He ignores her compliment. “What on earth is Malfoy doing here?!” 

She presses her lips together. After taking a long sip from her cocktail, she sighs. “We’re friends with him too, you know? We thought it’d be nice to invite him.” 

“Why would you _do_ that?!”, he shouts over the music. “After everything that’s happened!” 

Hermione tilts her head and a deep frown forms between her bushy eyebrows. “Harry, you know I love you. But avoiding him will only make things worse. You’re behaving like a coward. I really think you should talk to him.” 

Harry orders a firewhiskey, swallows up the liquid in one go, and orders another one. 

Hermione sighs. “Harry! Getting drunk won’t help either. What the hell is wrong with you? I’ve never seen you act like this.” 

Harry finishes the second drink within minutes. “I can’t stand being in the same room as Draco whilst being sober. Getting drunk will help me get through this.” 

Hermione shakes her head, clearly wanting to argue with Harry, but he’s not having it. 

“Hermione,” he says and squeezes her hand. “You really did a fantastic job with the decoration. The room looks amazing.”

Then, he turns around and rushes out of the tent. 

* * * 

For the rest of the night, he hides away, mostly staying inside. The living room is much quieter and cozier than the tent anyway. He stays close to his friends and sips on different juicy cocktails, slowly getting drunk. It’s okay. It’s great, actually. He notices how much he missed chatting and laughing with them. He still can’t believe how they accept Harry’s bullshit without any terms and conditions. He sits down next to Luna on the couch and snuggles closer to her.

She smiles and looks around the room. “Did you know that Snufflings can jump up twenty feet into the sky?” 

Harry frowns. “Snufflings?” 

“Yeah. Sweet, little creatures who eat sunlight.” 

Harry chuckles. “Well, they must be very athletic if they can jump up so high.” 

“Guys!” Dean and Blaise shout as they step closer to the couch. “We’re playing Truth or Dare. Come on, no one is backing out. Everybody has to play.” 

Harry groans. He hates that game. “Nah, thanks. I’m out.” 

But Dean grabs his shirt and pushes him back down onto the couch. “No chance. You’re playing!” 

“Dean, I –“ 

His words get stuck in his throat when Ron enters the living room, arms wrapped tightly around Draco Malfoy’s shoulders and guiding him towards the couch. 

Harry feels alarmed. He jumps up and tries to rush past Dean, but the other wizard holds him down tightly. “Dean, what the fuck?” 

Dean shrugs. “Sorry, mate. But we’re just trying to help, okay?” 

“You’re not helping, you’re making everything wor-“ 

He’s being interrupted by Dean, who shoves a shot glass in his face. “Drink up!” 

Harry frowns. “No. What the fuck? I already had three cocktails.” 

But Dean doesn’t give in. He basically shoves the drink down Harry’s throat. Harry coughs. “These are the rules. One-Shot of Veritaserum.” 

Harry’s stomach drops to the floor. “Veritaserum?”

Dean nods. “Yup. Maybe now you can finally confess your undying love to Draco.” 

“Are you insane? Isn’t that illegal?!”, Harry shouts into Dean’s ear. 

Dean only shrugs. “Hermione brewed it, ask her.”

He feels panic building up inside of him. Oh, crap. This isn’t going to end well. He catches a glimpse of Draco, staring at his own hands. The boy seems lost in his thoughts. Harry feels like throwing up. Maybe he should, just so he could get the Veritaserum out of his body. 

Harry sits down next to Luna and stares at his shaking hands. Luna reaches out and grabs ahold of them. “It’ll be fine, Harry. Don’t worry.” 

Harry feels his throat tingle. He wishes he could suppress what he’s going to say next, but he can’t. “I want to cry,” he replies. 

Luna squeezes his hands. “If it makes you feel better, they forced a shot of Veritaserum down Draco’s throat too.” 

Harry feels nauseous. Being close to Draco doesn’t make him feel better. It’s quite the opposite. Fuck, he looks _so good_ in that black button-up shirt. 

The bottle spins, and it lands on Ron first. Harry doesn’t really register any of it. 

Blaise grins. “Truth or Dare?” 

Ron hesitates. “Hm. I’ll take Dare.” 

“Okay,” Blaise says. “Let’s see. Take a shot, place it in between Hermione’s boobs, and drink it.” 

Hermione’s jaw drops to the floor. “No way!” 

But Ron only giggles. “That’s a fantastic idea.” 

He accepts the shot that Neville prepares for him and tries to place it in between Hermione’s cleavage. But Hermione fights back. “No. I’m not doing that. It’s Ron’s turn, not mine! Why should I do something I don’t want to do when it’s not even my turn?” 

Hermione eventually agrees to do it just because the others offer her a joker for when it’s her turn, and she really doesn’t want to do a task. 

They continue playing the game. The bottle lands on Ginny, and she chooses Truth. “Ginny, who is the best kisser in this group?” 

She shoots out the answer straight away. “I already answered this before. Harry.” 

Harry turns bright red. Luna giggles. The others whistle at him. Some even bark out a loud laugh. Oh, Merlin. 

“What?” she says. “He is a great kisser. That’s all.” 

Why won’t Ginny just shut up? Harry feels as if he’s drowning in his embarrassment. Fuck. In the corner of his eyes, he notices Draco shift uncomfortably. 

Ginny reaches out for the bottle and spins it again. The moment the bottle stops, it lands on Harry, and he nervously holds his breath. “Truth or Dare?” 

“Dare,” Harry spits out right away. He’s definitely not going to choose Truth when Draco sits a few feet away from him. 

“Hmm,” Ginny says. Her eyes sparkle dangerously. “Grab Draco, go to the bathroom, and stay there with him for ten minutes.” 

Harry frowns, the words sputter out of his mouth before he can even stop himself. “That is absolutely stupid. I don’t wanna do that! Why would you choose that for me?” 

Ginny grins. “Because you two are being absolutely ridiculous, and you really need to get your shit together. Off you go.” 

Harry sighs. He gets up, his legs are shaking. He’s never felt more nervous in his entire life. Without turning back to check whether Draco is following him or not, he moves towards the bathroom. When he pushes the door open, he realizes how small it actually is. Oh, Merlin. This isn’t going to end well. 

He squeezes inside, closer to the sink, and waits for Draco to follow him. He eventually does. The other man closes the door, turns on the lights, and stares at the floor. 

“Hi,” Harry tries to break the uncomfortable silence between them. 

Draco doesn’t lookup. “Um. Hi.” 

Silence. 

Fuck, what is he supposed to say? He takes a deep breath. “How are you?”

“I feel like shit.” 

Harry feels tears forming in his eyes. He never wanted to make Draco feel bad. He rolls his head back and stares at the ceiling. When did things get so awkward between them again? Harry has never seen Draco act this shy and quiet. And when did Harry get so nervous and unsure? Everything was going so great and now it’s all ruined again. 

Draco eventually looks up. “I’m sorry for disappearing the other day.” 

Harry frowns confused. “Then, why did you?” 

Draco answers immediately. “Because I was scared.” His eyes shoot open in horror. “Merlin, what the hell? Why am I telling you this?” 

“Because you drank Veritaserum.” 

Draco stares at him. “What? I did – how?” 

Harry sighs. “Our friends are absolutely mental. They gave us both a shot of Veritaserum.” 

“That’s illegal.” 

Harry nods again. “Seems like they don’t care much.” 

Draco looks alarmed. “Fuck. Fuck! I have to get out of here.” 

Harry grabs his wrist before Draco can run out of the bathroom. “Please. Don’t.” 

“Don’t what?”, Draco asks, his eyes flicker unsure between Harry’s eyes and their hands. 

“Don’t run away again.” 

Draco presses his lips together and rests against the door. He sighs. “I can’t stay here.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Because I’ll confess things to you. And then I can’t take it back.”

Harry frowns. He wants to ask what kind of things Draco means, but his mouth forms other words for him instead.

“I’m scared too, you know?”, Harry admits. He looks just as surprised as Draco. 

“Scared of what?” 

“Of ruining everything between us.” Merlin. Freaking Veritaserum. 

Draco huffs out a humorless laugh. “Potter, it’s already ruined. Look at us.” 

Harry feels a heaviness inside his chest and he feels tears burning in his eyes again. “Did you mean it? When you said that you love me? Did you mean it?” 

Draco’s answer, again, shoots out immediately. “Yes.” 

“Then why would you say that everything’s ruined?” 

Draco stares at the ground. His hands are trembling. “Because I ruined everything by falling in love.” 

Harry steps closer to Draco and grabs his hands, keeping them still. “Why would you think that?” 

“Because we agreed that we wouldn’t fall for each other. We agreed on this _twice_. First, when we made this stupid deal to fuck while high on Armortentia. And then again, when we agreed on being just friends.” 

His answer shoots out of his mouth before he can think about it. “We were never just friends.” 

Draco’s jaw clenches. “But I fell for you anyway, you know? Fuck, I fell so hard, you have no idea.” 

Harry’s throat feels dry. He wants to reply, but Draco interrupts him. “Draco, I –“ 

“I knew that this would happen. I knew right from the very start that I could never keep it casual between us. I found you so attractive and fascinating. I had the opportunity to get to know you and I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t resist. I should’ve been honest with you. That wasn’t fair. I pretended I didn’t fancy you because I was trying to play it cool. I agreed on all these things, despite knowing that it never would’ve worked outright.” 

“But you were the one who said that you didn’t find me attractive! You said that multiple times. You kept telling me how you didn’t fancy me. How it was all just sex between us. A one-time thing, a win-win situation, remember?” 

Draco laughs again, still no humor behind it. It almost sounds bitter. “I was _lying_ , you idiot. Have you ever looked at yourself? You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. Inside and out. I couldn’t confess it back then. It was embarrassing to admit that I, a former Death Eater, former enemy of Harry freaking Potter, found you attractive. I knew that you didn’t find me attractive, therefore I couldn’t admit it. I was too proud.” 

Harry stares at him in shock. “I can’t believe this.” 

“Well, I’m only admitting this because I drank a freaking shot of Veritaserum.” 

Harry shakes his head. “I only said that I didn’t find you attractive because I was too proud to admit that I think you’re bloody gorgeous. I felt stupid because you vehemently denied feeling attracted to me. Fuck, I always found you attractive. How could I not? Look at you!” 

Draco stares back at Harry. “What?” 

Harry takes a deep breath, but the words come out so easily, Harry almost forgets about the Veritaserum. “I fell in love with you months ago, Draco.” 

Draco opens his mouth and closes it again in disbelief. 

“It took me a while to realize it. And I was foolish to ever suggest these idiotic things. We never should’ve messed with this stupid love potion. It was meant to end in a disaster. And I never should’ve suggested being _just friends_. We both know that we’ll never be just friends. Never were, never will be.”

“You found me attractive from the very beginning?”

Harry nods. “Yes.” 

Draco tilts his head, and he finally seems to relax a little. “You’re in love with me?”

“Yes”, Harry declares right away. Draco stares at him in utter disbelief and surprise. 

“For real?”

“For real!”, Harry chuckles at Draco’s shocked expression. “You should see your face.” 

“You should see yours.” 

Harry tilts his head confused. “What do you mean?” 

“You are so fucking beautiful, Harry.” 

“So are you.” 

He blushes. “Are you in love with me?” Harry asks. He needs to hear it again. His heart his hammering inside his chest. 

Even though he already knows the answer, Harry holds his breath. He feels as if he’s going to pass out. 

“Yes.” 

He beams at Draco. “Say that again.” 

Draco takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, Harry Potter.” 

Harry’s head spins, and he feels lightheaded. Fuck. This must be the happiest day of his life. He feels so bubbly and excited and happy, he can’t form one proper sentence. And he definitely doesn't want to talk now. Instead of talking, he surges forward. He grabs Draco’s face with both of his hands and presses his lips on top of his. Harry finally feels complete again. God, he loves Draco. So much. He sighs into the kiss. 

Draco happily kisses him back. He grabs Harry’s waist and pulls him so much closer. Harry presses Draco against the wall and kisses him as if his life depended on it. Draco eventually pushes him away to catch his breath and to look Harry into his eyes. 

“So, does that mean …?” 

Harry grins and presses another kiss to Draco’s lips. He feels all fuzzy from being so close to Draco. “Yes, that means I’m your boyfriend now.” 

* * * 

They step outside the bathroom half an hour later, both adjusting their trousers and trying to look as innocent as possible. Draco grins at Harry and presses a kiss to his cheek. Harry blushes and giggles like the lovesick teenager that he is. They look around, but it turns out that no one actually cares about them, since everybody is already gathered outside. 

A mop of red hair runs past them. “Harry, Draco! Quick, in one minute it’ll be the new year! Get your cheeky little bums outside!”, Molly shouts as she rushes to the kitchen to grab some champagne. 

Draco and Harry rush outside, hands intertwined. They find their group of friends and step closer. 

Ron winks at him knowingly, Harry only grins. 

Then, everyone starts to count from ten. 

_Ten_

Harry looks around him, watches his friends and his family and his heart swells in his chest. 

_Nine_

Draco squeezes his hand and kisses his cheek. 

_Eight_

Hermione and Ron start snogging. 

_Seven_

Someone (probably Molly) quickly shoves a glass of champagne in his and Draco’s free hands. 

_Six_

Draco turns around and smiles at him through soft, grey eyes. He’s never looked more beautiful in the dim light. 

_Five_

“Harry,” he whispers and shuffles even closer. 

_Four_

“I want you to be my New Year’s kiss.” 

_Three_

Harry beams at him and surges forward. 

_Two_

“I love you, Draco!”, he whispers before 

_One_

He closes the distance between them and presses his lips against Draco’s as fireworks explode around them. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you actually made it to the end, let me tell you: Thank you SO much for reading. Leave some love if you like. (comments always make me very happy) xxx Sending positive vibes your way!


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